I don't have strong feelings either way about him having children or not. Especially if it is only one. It's his attitude and maturity I will be measuring.

I have a brother whose actions I did not approve of after his divorce, and he has a child. I know the way he acted and what he was going through and how he blindly entered into new relationships without ever taking his own emotional health into account and doing damage to other women, and his son. And me. He was so incredibly needy and he took advantage of my parents too. I'm 4 years younger than my brother and was still working my way through school. I had to move out of my parents house when I absolutley needed to stay there (it was only a summer), and we had an agreement that I stay there while finishing some of my commitments.

I was literally kicked out without the resources I needed and had to go into debt just to get by, while trying to finish school, research and some other comittments I was almost finished with. It was a critical time for me and it took me an extra year and a half to get off the ground because my brother was so irresponsible and my parents couldn't let my little nephew suffer.....so I had to leave so my brother could stay with my parents. My brother was also violent - another reason I had to leave. I was the only person who tried to talk sense into my brother (my parents were just banboozled because of my nephew and felt bad for my brother too, they never made him take responsibility for his divorce or his part in it -- it was all "her" fault, that evil woman).

When he was 30 and newly divorced he immediatly started dating an 18 year old with no experience. Within weeks that 18 year old as at our house for Christmas and buying my nephew presents. It truly disgusted me, the whole situation. They had horrible fights and it ended with restraining orders...yes. I know. I'm not proud of my brother but I did try to help and was rather supportive in the beginning.

He just got remarried, to another woman who I haven't met. I understand my parents like her (and they live in the same neighborhood -- since my brother can't seem to get too far from the nest still) but my reaction when hearing he was getting married was more....I feel sorry for her than happy for him. Of course I still resent him a bit too for displaying so much irresponsible behavior and poor decision making, selfishness, etc. He stole from my parents and he was doing drugs for awhile (in fact I believe this is why he went into nursing as a second career).

Anyway. All that said. If I detect this kind of recklessness in relationships I'll run.

But if he has a kid that in itself doesn't bother me unless I learn more and it's not okay. It's the attitude.

In some respects I think it could be a good thing. Who knows, what if I am not able to have children? Well, he already has one or two and won't have to depend on me!