How much can you tell...


Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #11  September 23,2009, 5:24pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

We just can't tell much. Except for the obvious weirdos, we just don't really know anything about these people. We have no idea if what they say is true or not, or they may just think they are this type of person and they really aren't or they could be incredible people. If someone is interesting enough...I would meet them.

What gets me is how many people make huge assumptions based on little comments on profiles and such...I think that just proves the one making the assumptions has issues - not the person in the profile.

Some of the stuff I read on here just amazes me (not talking about this thread, Islandrain). It just completely blows my mind what people get hung up on and what people will assume a potential match meant when they put something in their profile that rubs someone wrong. Why not just proceed communicating and ask for clarification on the things that we react to? Why do people just assume they know exactly what someone meant? How do we know? We do not know these people. There is no way we could possibly know.

I would hazard to guess that we are wrong 90% of the time. So why not give the benefit of the doubt and continue to communicate? The more information you receive, the better you can judge if it is someone of interest to you.

(end rant)
 
  Reply With Quote
CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #12  September 23,2009, 5:46pm

Unregistered

Joined: Sep 2009

Posts: 1,410

See profile

LizziePooh wrote :
We just can't tell much. Except for the obvious weirdos, we just don't really know anything about these people. We have no idea if what they say is true or not, or they may just think they are this type of person and they really aren't or they could be incredible people. If someone is interesting enough...I would meet them.

What gets me is how many people make huge assumptions based on little comments on profiles and such...I think that just proves the one making the assumptions has issues - not the person in the profile.

Some of the stuff I read on here just amazes me (not talking about this thread, Islandrain). It just completely blows my mind what people get hung up on and what people will assume a potential match meant when they put something in their profile that rubs someone wrong. Why not just proceed communicating and ask for clarification on the things that we react to? Why do people just assume they know exactly what someone meant? How do we know? We do not know these people. There is no way we could possibly know.

I would hazard to guess that we are wrong 90% of the time. So why not give the benefit of the doubt and continue to communicate? The more information you receive, the better you can judge if it is someone of interest to you.

(end rant)
Exactly Lizziepooh!!
 
  Reply With Quote
Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #13  September 23,2009, 6:47pm
Work_in_Progr…'s Avatar

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ~ Dalai Lama

Pacesetter

Joined: Feb 2008

Posts: 310

See profile

kahappy wrote :
Very little.
Yep, I'd go with this answer too. That's not to say you should be suspicious of or write everyone off who doesn't seem perfect in the first e-mail, but be careful, too, not to assume that even someone who sounds great after an e-mail or two is in reality.

There have been a couple of occasions where I've received really nasty, angry responses from men whose profile and initial e-mail were beautifully written and full of references to respect, honesty, etc., after I responded that I didn't think we were a match, but thanked them for their interest and wished them luck. And one with such a beautifully written profile who professed to be a Christian all about a mutually respectful monogamous relationship who sent me a harsh goodbye after I refused an offer for him to come to my home to "help" me with some things before we'd ever met. In fact, he refused to meet me in public first.

The bottom line, I think, is keep an open mind, but when your gut speaks to you, listen, even when things initially sounded perfect.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #14  September 23,2009, 6:54pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

LizziePooh wrote :
So why not give the benefit of the doubt and continue to communicate? The more information you receive, the better you can judge if it is someone of interest to you.
One problem is....how many people will you take the time to communicate with? How much time (and motivation) do you have?

With women I meet IRL combined with being on more than 1 dating site, due to time constraints I really need to cut some women out of communication and unfortunately I have to do that on some pretty limited information. Also...as factors such as distance can play a role in who I take a chance on investing time in communicating with.
 
  Reply With Quote
simplemind is offline simplemind Post #15  September 23,2009, 6:56pm
simplemind's Avatar

comes to her favorite season--cool weather and beautiful colors.

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

St. Louis

Posts: 1,340

See profile

jayjay wrote :
I'd just add one more 'very' to 'very little'. As in....Little to Nothing.....and Little just left town.
LoL!

And true.

Some people can be charmers even through first meetings to several dates. After a awhile, though, natural responses win out (his, and yours)--and you get a better idea if they're for real or not.

Enjoy yourself, please, but with a touch of simple realistic caution.
 
  Reply With Quote
WYskywatcher is offline WYskywatcher Post #16  September 23,2009, 7:02pm
WYskywatcher's Avatar

got her profile back! Thank you tech guy! :-)

Virtuoso

Joined: Jul 2009

Least populated state in the country!

Posts: 2,960

See profile

kahappy wrote :
Very little.
I'll see that 'very' and raise you three. nil, nada, zilch...
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #17  September 23,2009, 8:34pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

jayjay wrote :
One problem is....how many people will you take the time to communicate with? How much time (and motivation) do you have?

With women I meet IRL combined with being on more than 1 dating site, due to time constraints I really need to cut some women out of communication and unfortunately I have to do that on some pretty limited information. Also...as factors such as distance can play a role in who I take a chance on investing time in communicating with.
Yeah, that is the rub. I never balanced that out. I did put people on hold when eharmony allowed that but that was just an instant close - What? Put me on hold?? I am not going to be anyone's second!!!!

But really, that is not what it means. It just means not right now. You can only communicate with so many. Why do people get so offended when people put them on hold (so offended that I don't think it is an option with eH anymore) or get offended when people pick up communicating again after a pause since you can't put people on hold?

It is completely silly for people to get so offended by it. You will hear people here saying all the time, assume your matches are seeing other people and you should do the same. But then these same people will be ...Oh, I close if he does not respond within 3 days or I closed because I figured he was interested in someone else and that is why he was dragging out the communication. Yeah? So? Aren't you too?? (scratches head)

Who cares at this point?? I don't. None of it counts until you meet.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #18  September 23,2009, 8:36pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

WYskywatcher wrote :
I'll see that 'very' and raise you three. nil, nada, zilch...
Cute!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #19  September 23,2009, 9:07pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

LizziePooh wrote :
Yeah, that is the rub. I never balanced that out. I did put people on hold when eharmony allowed that but that was just an instant close - What? Put me on hold?? I am not going to be anyone's second!!!!

But really, that is not what it means. It just means not right now. You can only communicate with so many. Why do people get so offended when people put them on hold (so offended that I don't think it is an option with eH anymore) or get offended when people pick up communicating again after a pause since you can't put people on hold?
I'd probably close if someone put me on hold (if that feature was available)....not for being offended but just because I need some way to weed people out. If I'm feeling kind of 'if-y' regarding a woman...and she's also feeling the same way about me it's probably better that we just move on to more immediately appealing prospects.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« First Kisses | Dating | Older women and younger guys »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Ingy - I'm not sure what you're reading, but I've consistently said he was totally my type. Yes, I have said he wasn't a looker, but I have also said I was relatively certain I would warm to him ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“OP, do you have celiac disease? If not, I hate to burst your bubble but there's no health benefit to giving up gluten. Gluten is problematic only to people who have reactions to it, and you'd know ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ Most folks don't want to see matches that don't fit within their preferences. I know I didn't. That's why they set their preferences! ” –  FairOne

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Yeah, this article was pretty disgusting. Not surprising how many women try to justify such tactics. The woman in the article clearly cares more about getting married than about who she marries. A ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “How to Get the Proposal You Want...Without Asking For It” discussion

“LOL....Yet another thread started by a "newbie" who is gone after one post just to rile up the community.....” –  Ingytravel

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“ I did try to follow a comic book series once. It was called Starfire and she had a costume change due to her outfit being caught on a nail. It was similar to something that people found ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Avengers” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:55am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0