Books on how to manipulate your man!


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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #1  September 23,2009, 12:50pm
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I see ads on here for books and articles on how to manipulate your man.

Make him fall for you.

Keep your man.

Save your marriage/relationship.

Or, wait, hold on, He's not that into you, scratch that.

Anyway. Why is it women are so obsessed with controlling guys, instead of just letting us be guys?

There are stats out there suggesting more women file for D than do men, something like 2:1 ratio. Pull it up and take your pick, there are a million ways to cut that stat...

But if you assume the 2:1 ratio is somewhat accurate, then it suggests to me that not only do women want to control their man, and that they spend a tremendous amount of time trying to control their man, reading up on it, talking about it and such, trying to get him to do the dishes as in another thread, and when it fails, and the guy doesn't change -- "He just won't change!" -- she splits.

Furthermore, aren't "nag" and "hen" words usually reserved for women, much as "creep" and "jerk" are reserved for guys.

Not trying to be hateful, so I hope it doesn't come out like that, I just find it ponderous and ironic that so much of the EHa ad capital is generated by booksellers hocking books on how to manipulate a man to do your will, when in fact, that manipulation and mother-hen attitude is one of the biggest problems out there!

I don't see books on how to pick up loose women and cheap dates. Where are those books and those ad pop-ups, my EHa partners!

Then you could learn how to nag me, and I'd be a well-trained creep!


- Saul
 
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bekka74 is offline bekka74 Post #2  September 23,2009, 1:19pm
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hey saul, there are books out there for you. there's an entire web site dedicated to teach men how to do less of the work, treat a women like crap and still keep her. so if you really want those books you can have them. personally i'd rather just learn the person i will someday end up with and know that i love him for a reason and it isnt to change him. isn't there a saying about a woman marries a guy to change him and he never does, but a man marries a woman hoping she'll never change but she does? u love me for u and i'll love u for u and have good communication and a great friendship and neither of us will need any books!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  September 23,2009, 1:21pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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saulgoode wrote :
I see ads on here for books and articles on how to manipulate your man.

Make him fall for you.

Keep your man.

Save your marriage/relationship.


- Saul
I haven't read any of these kinds of advertised materials....but are these necessarily a woman trying to get a man to 'do her will'? I can see them being trying to make a man like/love a woman....but I don't see where your example of getting a man to 'wash the dishes' would necessarily be found in a book on any of these topics you have listed.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  September 23,2009, 1:50pm
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We know that women consume much more relationship advice than men, so the explanation for why material is targeted to them is obvious.

As to whether manipulation is a common strategy, is it possible you're projecting?
 
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pds857 is offline pds857 Post #5  September 23,2009, 1:55pm
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saulgoode wrote :
I see ads on here for books and articles on how to manipulate your man.

Make him fall for you.

Keep your man.

Save your marriage/relationship.

Or, wait, hold on, He's not that into you, scratch that.

Anyway. Why is it women are so obsessed with controlling guys, instead of just letting us be guys?

There are stats out there suggesting more women file for D than do men, something like 2:1 ratio. Pull it up and take your pick, there are a million ways to cut that stat...

But if you assume the 2:1 ratio is somewhat accurate, then it suggests to me that not only do women want to control their man, and that they spend a tremendous amount of time trying to control their man, reading up on it, talking about it and such, trying to get him to do the dishes as in another thread, and when it fails, and the guy doesn't change -- "He just won't change!" -- she splits.

Furthermore, aren't "nag" and "hen" words usually reserved for women, much as "creep" and "jerk" are reserved for guys.

Not trying to be hateful, so I hope it doesn't come out like that, I just find it ponderous and ironic that so much of the EHa ad capital is generated by booksellers hocking books on how to manipulate a man to do your will, when in fact, that manipulation and mother-hen attitude is one of the biggest problems out there!

I don't see books on how to pick up loose women and cheap dates. Where are those books and those ad pop-ups, my EHa partners!

Then you could learn how to nag me, and I'd be a well-trained creep!


- Saul

Faulty reasoning here Saul, Jus cuz women file for divorce first dont mean that it was ended because of her tryin to control him or vise versa, its usually because they shoulda never gotten married in the first place, or because one is cheatin or whatever. To make the assumption that its because they 'cant control' their man an are, there for, unhappy is jus silly.

As far as me in particular, I dont try to control adults. Now kids, animals, an static on the other hand, yea a lil bit lol
An for controling 'my man' I'd rather he had his own mind an sense about him that way its less work for me (guess some would consider me lazy that way)
I dont wanna have to tell my fella what to do an when to do it.
He's grown he should know when to do all that carp. I'ma go do my thing he can go do his an we'll meet in the middle, aint that how its supposed to be? Healthy relationships have a mixture of his, mine an ours right? It cant be all His. An it cant be all Mine, an I Really cant be all Ours, because then ya'd get tired of all the bein stuck to the hip makin me trip stuff.

As far as those few women that would buy a book on how to manipulate a man, well, I'ma not say nothin since momma always told me 'if ya aint got nothin nice to say then dont say nothin at all'

Its not nice to generalize an lump all females into one big pond.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #6  September 23,2009, 2:23pm
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saulgoode wrote :
I see ads on here for books and articles on how to manipulate your man.

Make him fall for you.

Keep your man.

Save your marriage/relationship.

Or, wait, hold on, He's not that into you, scratch that.

Anyway. Why is it women are so obsessed with controlling guys, instead of just letting us be guys?

There are stats out there suggesting more women file for D than do men, something like 2:1 ratio. Pull it up and take your pick, there are a million ways to cut that stat...

But if you assume the 2:1 ratio is somewhat accurate, then it suggests to me that not only do women want to control their man, and that they spend a tremendous amount of time trying to control their man, reading up on it, talking about it and such, trying to get him to do the dishes as in another thread, and when it fails, and the guy doesn't change -- "He just won't change!" -- she splits.

Furthermore, aren't "nag" and "hen" words usually reserved for women, much as "creep" and "jerk" are reserved for guys.

Not trying to be hateful, so I hope it doesn't come out like that, I just find it ponderous and ironic that so much of the EHa ad capital is generated by booksellers hocking books on how to manipulate a man to do your will, when in fact, that manipulation and mother-hen attitude is one of the biggest problems out there!

I don't see books on how to pick up loose women and cheap dates. Where are those books and those ad pop-ups, my EHa partners!

Then you could learn how to nag me, and I'd be a well-trained creep!


- Saul
Where do these statistics come from and who's asking the questions?

As for the books - I don't know about other women, but I've never paid much attention to them. Their advice is too generalized and broad. You can't apply the advice to every single situation that comes up, because it doesn't fit every single situation.

The women who read these books in order to manipulate a man don't have enough confidence in themselves to go out and find a man who will be good to them and respect them. They have to control someone in order to cover up their own insecurities.

If these women want well-kept dogs then let them read books on how to train dogs. If they want a proper relationship with a man then they're better off ignoring the books and focusing on the relationship.

I read the books in the past, but I've realized they don't help much so I just pass by this section in the bookstore and concentrate on my travel books and mysteries.

This is my two cents for what it's worth.
 
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saltndlight is offline saltndlight Post #7  September 23,2009, 2:24pm
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I hate anything that does have to do with maipulation, since i disagree with that method.I am all about good comunication, treat the other equal with respect and being honest with each other.
I'd rather read books on how to make your relationship work,i think it is more helpfull and honest.I also don't like to read some articles on EH, where they tell you to post a picture "acting like this or like that", or even about what to write in your profile.Of course there are stages of intimacy in relationships, but i will never try to pass something i am not.I am not for machist or feminist ideas.I think when you are in a relationship you must work things so both can feel themselves but happy at the same time.
Sadly many people are just on games on each other, because they never learn a better way to relate!
 
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trackstar is offline trackstar Post #8  September 23,2009, 2:31pm
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Ha, I don't know. The popularity of self-help books amazes and horrifies me. It's kind of funny that people would read a book to try to learn how to change someone else. I mean, before you get around to changing someone else, you have to change yourself, right - at least in how you treat your test subject? So you're forcing yourself to be someone that you are not, with the purpose of conniving someone else into being something they are not? Sounds like a big recipe for misery to me.

I'm all for being judgmental right off the bat - why not look at a creep as being a creep to the core? Hopeless, worthless . . .why bother?

Wait, how can I advertise my next self-help book on eHarmony?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  September 23,2009, 2:39pm
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Saul went a bit overboard and too specific.

Why is it that all the books and articles are written to women on how "capture" a man. Do not men have difficulty "capturing" women?

Whatever definition or requirement you use for "capture".
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #10  September 23,2009, 3:40pm
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I have no desire to manipulate anyone. It's a remarkably immature way to approach any kind of relationship in life. No one enjoys being treated this way, and anyone who enjoys treating another person in this manner doesn't understand the concept of respect, which is a crucial factor that needs to be present in a healthy relationship. Remember, this is just my humble opinion, and I'm not aiming my views at anyone in particular.

An aside: Have you ever read any of that garbage? It's laughable! It's designed to line the pockets of those who write it with cash, and nothing more. If they had a magic solution, they'd be marketing it for all it was worth, and they'd be seen and heard everywhere. Relationships take time, and they take effort. There is no magic wand or solution to make others fall in love with you. If one isn't willing to put in the work, then maybe that person just isn't ready for a relationship.
 
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