captnc46 is offline captnc46 Post #81  October 2,2009, 10:13am
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is very confused, too many bright lights

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saulgoode wrote :
Oh, wow, hey, is my FLY undone!

Speaking of, wanna see a baby elephant?

(Saul pulls the pockets of his blue jeans inside-out).

See! Those are the elephant ears, and... here's the trunk!


- Saul
We would pull our pockets out like that only we would then ask the other person if they wanted to kiss the rabbit between the ears.

As far as the dilema about walking up to a stranger in a coffee shop, don't do it. Society is to messed up nowadays for that not to be a total disaster. In light of that, I say do it but have some fun with it. Next time you're in the coffee shop, have a hockey mask in a bag and if she's in there put it on and walk to her and just start a normal conversation with her, see what happens.
 
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Felixkid is offline Felixkid Post #82  October 2,2009, 3:31pm
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A similar one I always struggle with is asking the cashier, etc. If she is at work and there is a line or something, it makes it that much more awkward. Of course if I go there often enough and can catch her I will talk to her, but its that first time at a place you basically never go to... Plus its hard to tell if she's flirting in return or being nice because that's her job.... Am I the only one who struggles here?

Uncle Apple wrote :
And what if someone doesn't go to coffee shops? I don't often.
Ditto, I never am in a coffee shop.
 
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phoenix_rk is offline phoenix_rk Post #83  October 2,2009, 4:51pm
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Sure! I'm an online dating expert actually. Part of what I do. But this is for free. Coffee shops are great places to meet people if they don't look as though they're rushing to a business meeting somewhere. If you don't feel confident with your "sense of humour" cutesy approach yet, don't worry, just be sincere and look interested in something they're doing or reading. Approaching somebody with a newspaper or book likely means they're not expecting somebody. Sit at the table next to them and lean over and ask " Hi, sorry am I interupting you?" and then silence....yah just silence and wait until after getting a response. She'll say either "I'm expecting someone actually.." or "That's okay" and then say hi and you were wondering about the (fill in the reading material here). It looks really interesting. What's her opinion? Then sit back and watch what happens. Ask where she works etc. The general questions will follow if she's interested. If she seems preoccupied and wants to be alone, just smile and say "Thanks" and go back to your drink. If you hit it off okay and continue talking eventually say " This was really great meeting you. We seem to have a lot in common . Would you like to meet up sometime tomorrow for lunch? I've got to head out but it would be nice seeing you again." She may bite... or not... she may have a boyfriend already. No worries mate. That's life but you gave it a great try. Next time. Charming works amazingly well when you don't have that cocky/funny thing at your finger tips. Frankly, most real relationships like charming/confident better. Good luck!
Last edited by phoenix_rk; October 2,2009 at 4:58pm.
 
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phoenix_rk is offline phoenix_rk Post #84  October 2,2009, 5:05pm
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Felixkid wrote :
A similar one I always struggle with is asking the cashier, etc. If she is at work and there is a line or something, it makes it that much more awkward. Of course if I go there often enough and can catch her I will talk to her, but its that first time at a place you basically never go to... Plus its hard to tell if she's flirting in return or being nice because that's her job.... Am I the only one who struggles here?



Ditto, I never am in a coffee shop.
I know some women that work the restaurant/ coffee bars. You'll generally know after a few times. Start by being nice and funny at the cashier. Ask about their day and just be nice. When they come out to pick up dishes, talk to them and let them have a chance to respond. If they seem eagre and interested, you'll notice it. Don't ask them out the first few times you go in but eventually ask if they like music or the arts or something. If they say yes, ask them if they'd like to go see something going on nearby (concert, live music, dancing ..whatever you choose, think about it before you go in). If they like you they'll say yes. Then ask for their number to call them later in the week to set up the place and time and stuff. You'll be pleasantly surprised .
 
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sweet destiny is offline sweet destiny Post #85  October 2,2009, 5:50pm
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call me Aileen

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scarlet13 wrote :
being female, a good approach is this:

"hey, my name is ____ "

(if you get the death stare, just say " i see you in here all the time, just wanted to introduce myself" and back away.) if not, continue with:

"and i see you here all the time, would you like some company with your coffee?" or something like that.
these lines will work for me
 
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NathanCM is offline NathanCM Post #86  October 2,2009, 8:33pm
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I think the key is in reading body language prior to any approach. Typically this is where most guys, myself included, fail.

Read it right, it doesn't matter the line.
 
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nolabunny5 is offline nolabunny5 Post #87  October 3,2009, 8:44am
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I would talk about coffee, obviously you both like it. Comment about how good her drink looks and ask her what it is, or ask if she's ever tried *fill in the blank* that you were thinking about trying it next time. Really anything to open conversation and see her reaction. If she's interested she'll continue the conversation, if she isn't or is in a hurry she'll answer quickly and move on.
 
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liquidKi is offline liquidKi Post #88  October 3,2009, 2:29pm
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kahappy wrote :
Thanks; I guess I can try something like that for an opener (*makes mental note to observe men's clothing a little closer*).
No, no! Why use diversion and misdirection before you even meet someone? We wonder why relationships get so complicated and f'd up, maybe it's because we've learned to come sideways at issues/people/situations instead of facing them head on.

As a couple have said previously, "Hi" is usually the best way to engage someone you're interested in. In the few moments following, you will quickly observe in their face and body language whether or not they want to have a conversation.

Personally, I am a bit turned off when someone tries to pull the indirect route. It reflects poorly on their confidence, how comfortable they are with themselves and others, and how they might choose to deal with issues in a future dating or more serious relationship. "Something clever or funny" can be good, but I'd have just as much respect for a person who simply said hi and then showed me how funny or clever they were later or in another way.
 
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Gentleman866 is offline Gentleman866 Post #89  October 3,2009, 5:35pm
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If there has ever been eye contact between you two during the encounters, smile. If she responds in a positive way, just say "hi, how are you?" Nature will take it's course. You may get a conversation about what type of drink she is having and then mention trying it next time. When you see each other again, you have something to talk about.
 
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TheMagnanimousOpieJ is offline TheMagnanimousOpieJ Post #90  October 5,2009, 6:53pm
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I would comment that if the coffee shoppe is corporate (like a Starbuck's or Biggby) then many of the suggestions given by the many intelligent and articulate contributors will suffice, however...

If the coffee shoppe is an 'independent' (where the owner knows everybody and vice-versa), then I would simply ask the owner---"What do you know about that awesome gal that was just at the counter?...She's groovy as a mug!" Within 24 hours you can probably ascertain her level of interest in you, directly from the owner. (That is just one more reason I like independent, mom-&-pop type coffee houses )
 
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