char19 is offline char19 Post #1  September 20,2009, 7:14pm
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Help? Not sure what to do. I've been dating someone I like, for about 3 weeks now. Have seen each other once and twice a week. We seem to hit it off...both are wanting to see each other again...and, chemistry is there. He and I are both busy with raising teenagers, but have some down time also. We get together only once on the weekends...which is when I would like to spend more time with him.

I am ready to move to a "relationship" with him...and want to spend more time together. I don't want to scare him away, and I would like a little more of his time and attention! It's so hard not knowing how he is feeling and waiting for him to contact me.

Do I speak up? or shut up for now and let him set the pace??
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  September 20,2009, 7:16pm
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I think that is always appropriate for the lady to speak up and share what she wants. If you don't speak up then the guy is in the dark and guessing what you want.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #3  September 20,2009, 7:24pm

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Sorry, I disagree. I think men get a little freaked when a woman brings up a relationship.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #4  September 20,2009, 7:25pm
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I think it sounds like you don't ever initiate any of the communication or dates. I don't think it would hurt for you to call him and suggest an activity for a date. It would show your interest (reciprocating) without looking like your pushing for a relationship.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #5  September 20,2009, 7:31pm

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MelinCali wrote :
I think it sounds like you don't ever initiate any of the communication or dates. I don't think it would hurt for you to call him and suggest an activity for a date. It would show your interest (reciprocating) without looking like your pushing for a relationship.
You can't assume that...being hesitant to bring up "Are we boyfriend/girlfriend?" question first is completely different than expressing interest.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  September 20,2009, 7:32pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
Sorry, I disagree. I think men get a little freaked when a woman brings up a relationship.
Now let's see here I am a guy telling her that she should be open and honest in communicating her feelings with her guy. And you are a what, a female? I think I win this one.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #7  September 20,2009, 7:38pm
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I would absolutely not mention the word relationship at this point.

I would recommend that you try to communicate more often than you do or suggesting things from your end.

Relationship after 3 weeks of limited contact... way too much too soon.

You can step it up without words.
 
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BusyBeingFabulous is offline BusyBeingFabulous Post #8  September 20,2009, 7:39pm
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You know, if you can't be honest and have a genuine conversation, what do you have? Sure, it's only been three weeks, but you aren't proposing. If you don't come across as clingy and needy but matter of fact and open, then why not? Are you each going to play guessing games for 2-3 months?

I guess my disclaimer should be I'm old and don't play games of any kind, including the should I/shouldn't I/has it been long enough for whatever, dance.
TALK! That solves everything in my experience.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #9  September 20,2009, 7:41pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
You can't assume that...being hesitant to bring up "Are we boyfriend/girlfriend?" question first is completely different than expressing interest.
Lizzie, I think we are talking about two different things that we are both getting out of the OP, and I am not disagreeing with you.

She says she is waiting for him to contact her ("It's so hard not knowing how he is feeling and waiting for him to contact me.") AND she wants to move onto a relationship. I am suggesting she move forward by not waiting for him to contact her all the time. I agree with you that it might freak him out if she leaps to the "are we bf/gf" question already if they are not even reciprocating phone calls.
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #10  September 20,2009, 7:47pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Now let's see here I am a guy telling her that she should be open and honest in communicating her feelings with her guy. And you are a what, a female? I think I win this one.
I guess me and Liz are going to have to dogpile you on this one buddy They have only been seeing each other for 3 weeks! Just enjoy the time you do have with each other to the utmost...trust me if he is interested he is going to find excuses to see you more often. Flash your best smile, flutter those eyelashes, make sure your legs are crossed in his direction, sincerely laugh at his jokes...all those little things that we women do to show interest. Even commitment oriented males would turn tale and run if you mention the relationship word too soon. Remember the birds and their little mating dance...any interruption in that rhythm can throw things all off...just sit back and enjoy the show like the little pea hen (enjoy the process of relationship making/building)
 
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