I Really Thought My Dream Was Coming True... Now I'm Not So Sure...


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SciEdMan is offline SciEdMan Post #1  September 19,2009, 6:35pm
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I'm a 21 year old college student, just transferring into a new school, a new major, and an entirely new set of people. My first day in my Chemistry Lab class, I was introduced to the girl sitting beside me, who became my lab partner. I really felt like we hit it off, we were laughing and talking and I was always really helpful, because she was not sure what she was doing, and I had experience in the lab. When it was over, we walked to our cars together, and she thanked me for making the lab fun. At this point, I'm head over heels. Later, after I ask her if we can get together to work on the next lab before class, she agrees, and we meet in the library to do the assignment. During this time, she ran across the room to several friends, randomly waved at times, kept leaving to talk to people, or turning around in her seat and talking to other guys that she knew that happened to be behind her. I pretty much gave up on her being interested in me at all after that. But she kept asking me questions about the class, asking me when my breaks were so that she could meet me to ask a question. She knew that every day, after 12, that I'm in the library doing work until I eventually leave to commute home. In fact, this Wednesday she even appeared in the library unscheduled to ask a question, but then left when she got her answer.

However, this Friday was different. I'm working on my laptop, when suddenly she appears out of nowhere, says Hi, sets her books down, takes out her lunch and proceeds to sit with me, eat her lunch, and start working on homework for a different class, with the air that we have been doing this for ages. We start talking, about classes, about life in general, whatever. She asks me what I've been doing, I tell her I had been planning on going to a concert with a friend, but that he has a test and can't go, so I'm looking for someone to go with me. She asks me what band, and when I tell her, she lights up like a Christmas tree, rattling off half their discography, saying that she loves them and has never met anyone else that even knows who they are, has never been to a concert before, and essentially begs me to let her go with me. She says she has class, but that she will lie and skip it to be able to go with me. So of course I say yes. Later on she's looking at a muffin someone is eating, saying how good it looks. So when she leaves to check her email, I buy her one, and when she comes back to see it sitting on her books, she lights up again and asks if it's for her and giggles. She eventually leaves to go to class, and I turn around to see a girl in my other lab class that had been there the entire time, who then asked me I if I was dating "that girl".

The conversation itself was nothing special. It was not particularly engaging, and there was nothing in it to make me feel as though she had any feelings for me at all. However, the conversation was significant because it was the first time she had ever come to me without another reason. We had not planned anything, we were not working on anything togethre, there was nothing for us to do for class. She just sat down... seemingly only for the purpose of having lunch with me. I was incredibly excited... until I was at home and started thinking over it. Even though she knew I stay in the library every day to do work, and had even met me there several times, when she walked up, she said "So this is your hang-out, huh?" as if she was not aware that I stayed there. The sandwich she was eating also looked like the sandwiches they sell at the coffee stand in the library, though I did not see her come in, so I can not verify that. She also took out a book for the class she was going to have next, and started working. All of this led me to believe that she had not come into the library on the hope of me being there, but instead had come into the library to grab some food and have a place to work before class, and that I just happened to be there and she did not want to eat alone.

So.... who is right? I know this is a lot to read, but I felt like the background was necessary for complete understanding. Is this girl interested in me? Did she have a goal, yesterday, when she came into the library? Did she come in thinking I would be there, as she did just three days ago on Wednesday? Or did she just come in for a quick bite to eat and a place to work before class, and I just happened to be there?
 
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a_nice_girl is offline a_nice_girl Post #2  September 19,2009, 7:04pm
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Don't drive yourself nuts analyzing every moment, quit trying to figure out what someone else is/was thinking. Go to the concert and see how things go from there. I wish you the best!
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #3  September 19,2009, 7:19pm
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I doesn't really matter why she was there. She may not have specifically been there to see you but she was pleased that she did so she does like you in some way.

In the atmosphere that you are in, people expect to run into people that they know & do hope to run into those people. She sounds like ske is pretty social so she likely sits & chats with many people that she knows randomly. That is the beauty of college. People around all of the time to hang out.

You will need to look for other clues when you go to the concert to see in what way she likes you.
 
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Valtyr is offline Valtyr Post #4  September 19,2009, 7:31pm
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Is quite mad and has the hatter to go with it.

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Ya I am going to have to agree with Nice girl stop analyzing everything and just go with the flow. Have fun at the concert and see how things go. If she likes you she will let you know when she is comfortable. So don't sweat it. I hope the best outcome for you, take it easy.
 
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Avalon1k is offline Avalon1k Post #5  September 19,2009, 8:36pm
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I live for little moments when she steals my heart again...

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Wall of text!! Am blind

Nah...go out and have fun. If it works it works...if not, no harm.
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #6  September 19,2009, 8:57pm
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is happy with the way things are going!

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Take her to the show. Have fun and give it your best shot while you are there. Sounds like she digs you, but the best way to confirm that is by making your intentions clear...
 
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SciEdMan is offline SciEdMan Post #7  September 19,2009, 9:08pm
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shoopthedoop wrote :
The best way to confirm that is by making your intentions clear...
And how do you do that at this point without chasing her away? I barely know her... and I'm certainly not the type I would expect a girl like her to attract, and I'm actually very much surprised that she's not already dating someone (if she isn't... I don't even know that for sure). My main problem is self-esteem. As much as I like being around her, I can't help but feel like someone like her should be able to reel in a better class of fish than myself. My main worry so far is how before this Friday, she had never even talked to me about anything beyond "What's the answer to number #4?". I just... I'm completely lost here. I can't bring myself to tell her anything about my personal feelings for her, because it's too soon, she barely knows me, and as one of the other comments said, she probably talks to everyone the same way, and probably would have sat with anyone that was there that she knew, not just me. I'm just jumping to conclusions, again. *Sigh* I'm like a yo-yo, going from up to down. I came away from talking to her Friday feeling like a million bucks, and now.... with compounding interest and time in a mutual fund... it's gone.
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #8  September 19,2009, 9:26pm
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SciEdMan wrote :
And how do you do that at this point without chasing her away?
You are going to watch the band. Have a couple drinks, initiate a little bit of physical contact. Nothing overly creepy, but let her know you are there. A 'hi, nice to see you' hug when you meet? Hand in the small of her back when you are walking somewhere in the venue?

This girl appears to like spending time with you. You can't really chase her too far as you two will still be lab partners.

Don't be uber aggressive, but if you try something subtle like the suggestions above you'll find out how she feels pretty quickly.

Your alternative is to think about it without doing anything while some other guy might swoop in...
 
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SciEdMan is offline SciEdMan Post #9  September 19,2009, 9:34pm
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shoopthedoop wrote :
This girl appears to like spending time with you. You can't really chase her too far as you two will still be lab partners.

Your alternative is to think about it without doing anything while some other guy might swoop in...
Yes, exactly. We'll still be lab partners. Meaning if I screw up and make a move too soon or one that she doesn't like, it will be awkward for the rest of the year having to work together.

And that's my fear. That she's popular, likeable, beautiful, intelligent, and I'm.... the picture in the dictionary next to the definition of "Average". That even if I have the strongest feelings in the world for her... in the end it won't really matter if she can't get by the idea that we both know she can have better guys.
 
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Avalon1k is offline Avalon1k Post #10  September 20,2009, 1:26am
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You know she just might see something in you that you don't. Be yourself...relax...and have fun. Don't have any expectations and stop those negative thoughts right now.
 
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