My Match and I Both Feel We Are Soulmates


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
lisab12565 is offline lisab12565 Post #1  September 18,2009, 8:55am
lisab12565's Avatar

Who am I...and why am I here

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Mid-Missouri

Posts: 12

See profile

I was only on EH for a month when I met someone and we hit it off like we've known each other forever. We started out with GC, it was so nice to get to the emailing part with him and we did that for a couple days and then we started texting and talking on the phone. Sometimes we text throughout the day, sometimes not. We don't talk on the weekends because when he doesn't work, he's trying to catch up at home and spending time with his kids (he works away from home during the week). We do talk 3-5 nights a week after my kids go to bed, I have 2, he has 3.....my 2 are the same age as his older 2. We talk about the day, our kids, our childhoods, and just basic getting to know each other stuff and before we know it, we've been on the phone for 2-4 hours and we don't know where the time has gone. We've only been talking for a month on the phone, but we feel we can talk about anything.....and we do. I've been divorced for 1-1/2 years and he's been widowed 1-1/2 years and we're both ready for a long term relationship. Oh yeah, we live 500 miles apart and we haven't met yet. I'm planning to go visit him for a couple days next month and we're hoping we have the same chemistry in person, that we have when we talk. I think it's awesome to get to know someone on a site such as this and get to know them from the inside out instead of the other way around. We've seen each others pics and unless we have some kind of habits the other doesn't like, or heaven forbid, we feel like brother and sister, I think we'll still have that chemistry when we meet. The guy I talked to before this one, I couldn't sees to find anything to say to him. On one hand, we worry that we're taking things too fast, but, things just feel so right? We both feel we are just going the speed that feels right for US. Is there such a thing as taking it too fast or do you with age and experience just know more what you do and don't want in a person? We know we have to have that person to person meeting to know for sure, but for right now, we both feel we've found our soulmate. We have NOT used the L word or anything like that, that's way too soon to know or say, but our feelings ARE very strong for each other. This is the first time in my life, I feel like I'm getting the same out of a relationship that I'm putting in. And from talking, we feel like we'd make a great team in life.

I'd like to know what you guys (sorry, I'm from Missouri and trying not to say "ya'll").....LOL!!!

Thanks,
Lisa
 
  Reply With Quote
JongJungBu is offline JongJungBu Post #2  September 18,2009, 9:03am
JongJungBu's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

Alabama

Posts: 40

See profile

I am of the opinion that as long as both of you mutually feel you are not going too fast, then you are not. If anyone has doubts that you might, then that should be a sign to take some caution. I don't know if you have doubts, or you are just wondering if other people would think you are. But if it feels right to YOU, then you shouldn't worry what the others think (except for family).

But it sounds like it's working out great for you! Glad to hear the potential.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #3  September 18,2009, 9:09am

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

i hate to be the debbie downer, but you are not the first person to get emotionally attached to someone they haven't met in person and after they did meet, the chemistry is not there.

for your sake i hope it is, but yeah, i believe that taking things to fast in the beginning of an online relationship is a bad idea.
 
  Reply With Quote
lisab12565 is offline lisab12565 Post #4  September 18,2009, 9:29am
lisab12565's Avatar

Who am I...and why am I here

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Mid-Missouri

Posts: 12

See profile

JongJungBu wrote :
I am of the opinion that as long as both of you mutually feel you are not going too fast, then you are not. If anyone has doubts that you might, then that should be a sign to take some caution. I don't know if you have doubts, or you are just wondering if other people would think you are. But if it feels right to YOU, then you shouldn't worry what the others think (except for family).

But it sounds like it's working out great for you! Glad to hear the potential.
JongJungBu---Thanks for your input.

I think I'm just worried that other people will be think we're taking things too fast. I've been married twice before, and I definitely know what I don't want. I've been consciously watching for the red flags I always see (and normally ignore) but, I just haven't been seeing them. It doesn't feel wrong that this seems to be going so fast. I do go to a counselor, to deal with past abuse and help with pain management, and have talked to her about this, also, and she seems to think things are ok as long as we're on the same page also. In my past relationships I felt like I needed to have that person in my life and this time it feels so much different it's nice to share my thoughts and ideas with him but it's not that kind of "needy" feeling. Does that make sense?
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  September 18,2009, 9:29am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,747

See profile

Same as scarlet13, I hate to say this, but until you've met you are mostly attached to a figment of your imagination. The only thing that you know for certain is that you both can carry a conversation.

Despite the long phone calls, despite the fact that you both seem so perfect, until you meet, you really truly honestly don't know if this person is the one for you.

These boards are peppered with similar threads where things did not go so well in real life after all those expectations. I sincerely hope that you are the exception to that and that things work out great between the two of you. My best advice is that when you do go to meet him, keep your mind open and your expectations at as low to minimum as you can.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  September 18,2009, 9:31am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,747

See profile

P.S. If things are working for both of you and you are both comfortable and happy, who cares what anyone else thinks about it. It has to work for the two of you and not for the world at large.
 
  Reply With Quote
sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #7  September 18,2009, 9:36am
sabete2002's Avatar

About to celebrate one year with the best guy on the planet!

Veteran

Joined: Jun 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 2,335

See profile

I was in a similar situation a few years back. The guy I met was quite different from the guy I thought I knew just from emailing and phone conversations so it was a big disappointment. He, on the other hand, had the opposite reaction so it ended quite badly.

Like scarlet13, I don't want to be a debbie downer but be prepared that meeting in person might be very different from your expectations. I sincerely hope it is everything you wish for though.

You also mentioned you are flying out to meet him. Please take all the necessary precautions. Book your own hotel room, make sure trusted friends/family know where you will be and check in with them regularly. Make sure that you have an out if things don't go according to plan.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #8  September 18,2009, 9:42am
Mokkesofie's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 8,463

See profile

lisab12565 wrote :
I think I'm just worried that other people will be think we're taking things too fast.
Why would you worry about that? It's not other peoples business but yours and your date's. Good luck with it!
 
  Reply With Quote
JongJungBu is offline JongJungBu Post #9  September 18,2009, 9:49am
JongJungBu's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

Alabama

Posts: 40

See profile

lisab12565 wrote :
JongJungBu---Thanks for your input.

I think I'm just worried that other people will be think we're taking things too fast. I've been married twice before, and I definitely know what I don't want. I've been consciously watching for the red flags I always see (and normally ignore) but, I just haven't been seeing them. It doesn't feel wrong that this seems to be going so fast. I do go to a counselor, to deal with past abuse and help with pain management, and have talked to her about this, also, and she seems to think things are ok as long as we're on the same page also. In my past relationships I felt like I needed to have that person in my life and this time it feels so much different it's nice to share my thoughts and ideas with him but it's not that kind of "needy" feeling. Does that make sense?
I do agree with what some of the other people think. I've been setup a number of times to find that when we met in person, it didn't go as well as it did over the phone. So I see how it could go sour once you meet. However, you will have to meet sooner or later if you want a LTR to come out of this match. So, it's not necessarily wrong to want to meet sooner than later. But as these other posters have said, I can see how one should take caution and expect the possibility the meeting might not go as planned.

But, since you've been talking to other people outside of eH about this potential relationship, I think you are worrying too much about the issue of going too fast. It sounds like you are actually more prepared going into this than a lot of people I know! Probably more so than your average person. And obviously you are being more careful this time, learning from your past relationships. Can we say growth? I need some more of that honestly haha.
 
  Reply With Quote
lisab12565 is offline lisab12565 Post #10  September 18,2009, 9:52am
lisab12565's Avatar

Who am I...and why am I here

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Mid-Missouri

Posts: 12

See profile

DancingFool wrote :
My best advice is that when you do go to meet him, keep your mind open and your expectations at as low to minimum as you can.
That is great advice. We have talked about this, too. About how we hope we have the same chemistry in person as we do when we talk and both aware that we could meet and it just not be there. We're gonna meet in about 2-1/2 weeks and we've both got butterflies just wondering how our meeting will go. It's exciting yet scary at the same time.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« No personal questions? | Dating | How choosy are you? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Free Communication Weekend and the Theory of Match Counts ScottK Using eHarmony 19 November 11,2010 11:10am
Does anyone else feel this way about match? Help. GC106 Dating 40 October 21,2010 10:39am
Do You Ever Tweak Your Profile For A Particular Match? DeBrown Using eHarmony 24 January 17,2010 2:17pm
The PERFECT match. notjustamuse Using eHarmony 15 October 21,2009 6:55pm
Why Am I Receiving This Match? RedhawkGal79 Using eHarmony 18 August 18,2009 5:51am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Ingy - I'm not sure what you're reading, but I've consistently said he was totally my type. Yes, I have said he wasn't a looker, but I have also said I was relatively certain I would warm to him ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“OP, do you have celiac disease? If not, I hate to burst your bubble but there's no health benefit to giving up gluten. Gluten is problematic only to people who have reactions to it, and you'd know ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ Most folks don't want to see matches that don't fit within their preferences. I know I didn't. That's why they set their preferences! ” –  FairOne

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Yeah, this article was pretty disgusting. Not surprising how many women try to justify such tactics. The woman in the article clearly cares more about getting married than about who she marries. A ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “How to Get the Proposal You Want...Without Asking For It” discussion

“LOL....Yet another thread started by a "newbie" who is gone after one post just to rile up the community.....” –  Ingytravel

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“ I did try to follow a comic book series once. It was called Starfire and she had a costume change due to her outfit being caught on a nail. It was similar to something that people found ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Avengers” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:35am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0