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eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
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It’s a lot easier to know who your "type" isn't than it is to know who is. Here’s how to tell when someone interests you, but you’re just not sure . . .
- March 13th, 2007, 02:18 pm
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651Marnie 651Marnie is offline
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That is very good sound advice! I only wish I knew that thirty years ago when I married my first husband. I know there is someone out there for me. The hard part is finding him!!!!
- May 5th, 2007, 09:20 pm
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687Doris 687Doris is offline
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I was married for 55 years to the love of my life. He loved me very much, was considerate, caring, and we had very similar traits. We were happy staying at home or going out dancing. I guess we were compatible and were homebody kind of "types". We care about each other!
- May 6th, 2007, 09:33 pm
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735Nancy 735Nancy is offline
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I have just been dumped by a man I loved very much when we were together, but had doubts about all time when I was not with him. I stuck with him because had so much fun with him, and wanted to be in a relationship. He's been gone 3 weeks now, and think about him constantly and keep thinking about calling him and telling him the love I still feel for him. To do that would be foolish, but I can't seem to stop thinking about him. Any suggestions or ideas to stop doing this, and how long it might take? I keep thinking about calling, although I know in my gut it will be useless.
- May 9th, 2007, 05:05 am
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770Harold 770Harold is offline
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After being with my girlfriend for 18 years to find out that she was out hunting for someone who was "compatible" with her, I can totally relate to this analysis. One of the problems with "being in love" is ignoring the warning signs when they are as big as billboards in your face
- May 12th, 2007, 07:38 am
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773Suse 773Suse is offline
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Yeah... what is with that?!?! Harold, well said. I like how you say that... billboards. Why do we do that? I noticed that I have done that twice before, and I have really thought about it, and I think it might be because I settle from the start.

Nancy, I totally understand where you are. I was in a similar situation not too long ago. Don't call! It will just make you feel played out and maybe even a little weak in his eyes. When breakups happen it doesn't matter how little (or how much) doubt you had, or even whether the person was good for you, you'll still miss them. That's normal. I had to teach myself that missing someone a lot does not mean it should be rekindled or is symbolic of anything. It just means you're healing. Hang in there. 3 wks is not a long time. ask yourself how you feel in 3 mos. and 3 yrs.
- May 12th, 2007, 01:56 pm
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832BarbaraMadsen 832BarbaraMadsen is offline
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I need to find someone to share the rest of my life with, who will love me as I love him, so that we can grow old together and share fulfillment in a caring, supportive relationship. I am Canadian, and need to find a way to use eHarmony in Canada, so I can find the friend and lover most suitable to me.
- May 20th, 2007, 12:51 pm
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843michelle 843michelle is offline
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Nancy, I have been through with your experience and i totally understand how you feel about it!!! Suse is right. DO NOT call him! And besides, the person who has caused you pain is a liar! When you are in a relationship and you have invested your time and emotions, you expect that it is also valued. TRUST is a must in a relationship. How could you trust someone again if he has done it once, and for sure he could still do it again and again. The ultimate blessing is NOT beeing able to be married to this person and go through divorce because i personally believe that is more devastating. Maintain your dignity by not calling! If he truly loves you, he should be calling. If he doesnt, then just heartily accept it and move on. Beyond the dark clouds in our lives is a bright sunlight. GOD is there for you. HE is good all the time. You might not realize that for now because you are hurting but it is in this time that you need to trust HIM even more. And sure enough when the pain starts to fade...you will wear that happy face and ready to love again! ) I hope and pray HE will sustain you...

Harold, i like how you described the warning signs as "billboards"!! Hahahaha!!! I used to say it "red flags".

The one thing i learned from relationship is when you pray about it and you dont feel at peace with it, then it is NOT a God-given relationship. Let go and let GOD! And you will truly find happiness...even in your singleness, there is something to be discovered about yourself. Then when right person comes along, and you truly shared the same values, you will be thankful you have waited.
- May 21st, 2007, 11:47 am
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859Richard 859Richard is offline
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I agree with the advice found on this web page. I am in a separation and it will probably end in divorce. I have been married for 20 years, and it was wrong from the start. I have four beautiful daughters and because of my mistake in marrying their mom, they now suffer along with me. I had all the warning signs before I got married, but, being foolish and wanting to get married rather then finding the right person I went through with the marriage. I hope and pray that everyone that comes to this site really takes to heart about being compatible. I did not fully understand why I had so many problems in my marriage until this last 5 years. Then I started weighing everything in my marriage found that compatibility was the root cause. We should have never gotten married. If you are unsure, have a red flag of any kind, you know that there are many differences between you, then wait. Its not worth the price!!!
- May 24th, 2007, 03:24 pm
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860Gwen 860Gwen is offline
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This article was very helpful, especially the 7 items that specifically addressed the core areas of compatibility. Thank you for these articles you provide.
- May 24th, 2007, 07:13 pm
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