But We Can Still Be Friends...


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1FourAll is offline 1FourAll Post #1  September 17,2009, 11:02pm
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Maybe this is redundant, but...

Why do people post on their EH profiles "don't be afraid to contact me, we maybe perfect for each. But if not, I love meeting people and am always willing to make new friends" or something similar, but choose to close communication with their matches? Is this not an oxymoron? Or maybe, that's it. These people are MORONS!
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #2  September 17,2009, 11:10pm
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I get extremely suspicious of matches claiming they want to be friends in their profile, and I usually close them. In my experience, these women tend to be flakey, flighty, or teases who surround themselves with guys.

I joined an online dating service and pay money to meet women for an LTR. If I want friends I meet plenty of them in RL or I can join a club.

On the eH boards, posting reading advice and making friends/contacts is fine - afterall its a free service and I done get my hopes high.

But when it comes to eH, I pay good money for it and I am serious about finding a compatible partner for an LTR.

If I want casual or friendship stuff, I don't have to look much farther than my local pub or gym.
 
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singleman4803 is offline singleman4803 Post #3  September 18,2009, 7:11am
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To me "lets be friends" is really "don't go away mad, just go away".
 
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cwhite1028 is offline cwhite1028 Post #4  September 18,2009, 7:16am
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I agree with the above posts. When I see that phrase or anything close to it bam - CLOSED
 
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JongJungBu is offline JongJungBu Post #5  September 18,2009, 8:29am
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Yeah, I can definitely understand that. I mean, I didn't sign up to eH to make friends. And I am not friends with any of the women I have dated now, after the fact. The women I am friends with, we have never dated and never will. I guess people who post about being friends just are worried they'll hurt someone's feelings and think they'll invite more people to communicate if the other person thinks they won't get hurt. I'm just making a supposition here. I don't really know.
 
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1FourAll is offline 1FourAll Post #6  September 20,2009, 9:06am
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bwr wrote :
I get extremely suspicious of matches claiming they want to be friends in their profile, and I usually close them. In my experience, these women tend to be flakey, flighty, or teases who surround themselves with guys.

I joined an online dating service and pay money to meet women for an LTR. If I want friends I meet plenty of them in RL or I can join a club.

On the eH boards, posting reading advice and making friends/contacts is fine - afterall its a free service and I done get my hopes high.

But when it comes to eH, I pay good money for it and I am serious about finding a compatible partner for an LTR.

If I want casual or friendship stuff, I don't have to look much farther than my local pub or gym.
I joined EH for an LTR as well but get matched with many people stating in their profiles 'looking to meet people' 'can never have enough friends', 'open to friendship', and such like.

Furthermore, I think it is a double standard for women, in society and on EH. Everyone knows/should know-that EH is for those seeking an LTR.

But if a woman comes out and says that, even on EH, men tend to freak out because they think a woman is harvesting her eggs and looking for a mate to help her spawn or whatever ridiculous fears they have.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #7  September 20,2009, 9:16am
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1FourAll wrote :
I joined EH for an LTR as well but get matched with many people stating in their profiles 'looking to meet people' 'can never have enough friends', 'open to friendship', and such like.

Furthermore, I think it is a double standard for women, in society and on EH. Everyone knows/should know-that EH is for those seeking an LTR.

But if a woman comes out and says that, even on EH, men tend to freak out because they think a woman is harvesting her eggs and looking for a mate to help her spawn or whatever ridiculous fears they have.
Maybe they figure that they, at the very least, can find people that are personality matches but not LTR matches.

I don't think that it is fair to tell anyone else how they should use a site that they are paying for.

When I meet someone for the first time I have no expectations of wanting a relationship with that person at that time.

It could be just a nice person that enjoys meeting new people & really means that. A lot of people say that but don't really mean it.

You can't really infer what their thought process is behind that statement. It really could just mean that she likes people & likes to hang out with people.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #8  September 20,2009, 9:49am
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bigfincat wrote :

You can't really infer what their thought process is behind that statement.
Really? The statement is not only pretty self-explanitory but it is negative.

People who write this are setting themselves up for failure... they minimize their own disappoinment when it doesn't work out. They also give themselves an excuse ahead of time to reject you. After all, they warned you ahead of time that you could be friend material.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  September 20,2009, 10:55am
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1FourAll wrote :
Maybe this is redundant, but...

Why do people post on their EH profiles "don't be afraid to contact me, we maybe perfect for each. But if not, I love meeting people and am always willing to make new friends" or something similar, but choose to close communication with their matches? Is this not an oxymoron? Or maybe, that's it. These people are MORONS!
If they have said this in their profile and then close they certainly are not following the philosophy espoused in their profile.

I could view this behavior as: "Contact me even if you don't like how I look. I will be the judge of if you are good looking enough for me"
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  September 20,2009, 11:16am
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1FourAll wrote :
Maybe this is redundant, but...

Why do people post on their EH profiles "don't be afraid to contact me, we maybe perfect for each. But if not, I love meeting people and am always willing to make new friends" or something similar, but choose to close communication with their matches? Is this not an oxymoron? Or maybe, that's it. These people are MORONS!
I don't attribute either stupidity or bad motives to people who write things like this. To me it just seems like an example of how what people 'think' they want isn't necessarily what they actually want.
 
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