After a long summer drought, finally got a date! BUT...


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bwr is offline bwr Post #1  September 17,2009, 10:59pm
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I had a match out of nowhere respond to my eH profile. After the first round of GC she requested fasttract - I actually prefer fasttrack. We then after a couple of emails exchanged phone numbers and had great conversations.

We communicate very well, she is not flakey, and didn't waste time taking weeks to respond as she replied in a timely fashion. We actually set up a meeting for Saturday.

BUT...

Something happened that made me very uncomfortable today. She updated her profile and added pics. He original pics looked great, but she took them down and in her new pics she looks about 15 years older and is a lot heavier.

Also, she changed her height from 5'9" to 5'4". One of the main reasons I was attracted to her is I like tall women. It really bothers me that she originally lied in her profile and updates it right after we set up a meeting and talked for so long. Also, I am not all that attracted to shorter women.

We really hit it off though and had some of the best conversations I have had with a woman, but now with these last minute extreme profile changes I am really iffy and trying to figure out how to back out or deal with this gracefully, and I am meeting her in 2 days.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #2  September 18,2009, 12:35am
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What if she didn't lie? Without asking her, you won't know why she changed her height. Her pics may still be recent ... I have been shocked on occasions when I caught up with a person I hadn't seen in 12-18 months and he/she seemed to have aged 5-10 years.

If I felt I had communicated well with a man and had enjoyed our conversations, I would still meet him. It is only a date, why not go and try to enjoy yourself? If I remember correctly, aren't you living in a new area now?
 
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flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #3  September 18,2009, 2:08am
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Why not call or write her prior to meeting and ask her the reason for the changes?
 
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sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #4  September 18,2009, 2:28am
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I'm with Meri - what have you got to lose by going on the date as planned? At that point you can decide if you want to see her again or not. It's not till you meet that you get a truer sense of the person anyway.

I'm not sure I would mention the change in photos prior either.

And I guess at 5' 2" I'm too short for you. *sigh*
 
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saturnsshadow is offline saturnsshadow Post #5  September 18,2009, 2:45am
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Shouldn't her personality be really what sells, not her looks and her height? If you liked her personality then what the hell's wrong with you? If you like the way someone treats you then looks and height should be superfluous. Maybe she changed her profile because she didn't think you would like her just for her personality. I think you're extremely shallow. I'm tall at 5'10" and I wouldn't date you for that reason, looks and height alone aren't everything
 
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whatalife1683 is offline whatalife1683 Post #6  September 18,2009, 3:08am
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Just go on the date with her. You felt there was a connection there, so why not see what happens. As others have stated, you do not have to continue seeing her. She might like you, and is hoping to have a good time with you. If you back out because she is "heavier" and "shorter", then you should just tell her I guess. Everyone has there prefrence, but communicating with someone than backing out is wrong. Also, you do not know how old her pictures are. I put new pictures up, and sometimes the others are not old. The camera does not always show what person really look like. I have been told I look so different from my picture. They have said I look better in person, and they are able to see my smile. I tend not to smile for the camera, but I do smile a lot in person. Back to the topic, just go on the date with her. If there is nothing there for you, then you do not need to continue on. Like the above poster said you sound shallow.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #7  September 18,2009, 4:02am
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Bwr --

You have chronicled your struggle to lose weight and to get women to be interested in you and not your money.

Now you have the opportunity to meet a woman, and you want to turn her down for the same reasons that women were turning you down.

If you're not interested in her, you're not interested. I just ask that you consider these points before making your decision.

I wish you luck.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  September 18,2009, 4:23am
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tbesq wrote :
Bwr --

You have chronicled your struggle to lose weight and to get women to be interested in you and not your money.

Now you have the opportunity to meet a woman, and you want to turn her down for the same reasons that women were turning you down.

If you're not interested in her, you're not interested. I just ask that you consider these points before making your decision.

I wish you luck.
Precisely. OP you have endless bitter threads calling women shallow and complaining about how all they are interested in are looks and money. Yet, seems like you are doing the exact same thing - you seem to get along, yet you won't even meet her for coffee because she lacks a couple of inches? ......ugh..... I think you just lost your right to ever again complain about your dating issues.
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #9  September 18,2009, 4:37am
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Photos are a funny thing. The right angle can do wonders. It also has lot to do with lighting and clothing and plenty of other things. It's not to say that she really isn't a lot heavier now, but it could be one of those things that she might have just looked slimmer because of the photos.

Or something could have happened. I know a woman who has been very thin all her life, but she's also been very active. Well, she had back surgery and was laid up for a while. She was taking medicine that made her gain weight, and now that she's gotten older, it harder to get the weigh off. Plus, she's still somewhat limited by what can do because of her back. Within a few short months, she's gained close to 40 pounds. She still has a very nice figure and wouldn't be considered overweight by people looking at her because she's tall, and she was very thin to start. But people who know her say that she's aged and looks completely different in just a few short months. And she knew that she had gained the weight, but she didn't know just how much her appearance changed. So, I say, ask this woman about her photos.

As far as height, welll, I can't explain that one unless she made a mistake when checking the box. It sometimes happenes on accident. And some women don't know how tall they are, seriously. I don't know my actual height, and when people ask, I just say tall, because I know an approximate range within about 4" * or -. And I always get, "I can't believe you don't know how tall you are." Well the DMV doesn't make you do it anymore, and neither does my dr. so, here are people out there who don't really know and guess. But generally, they get within the range.
 
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cwhite1028 is offline cwhite1028 Post #10  September 18,2009, 5:23am
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sabete2002 wrote :
I'm with Meri - what have you got to lose by going on the date as planned? At that point you can decide if you want to see her again or not. It's not till you meet that you get a truer sense of the person anyway.

I'm not sure I would mention the change in photos prior either.

And I guess at 5' 2" I'm too short for you. *sigh*

Wait wait - 5'2" is a great height... but then again I am short
 
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