Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #1  September 17,2009, 5:53am
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 785

See profile

“...had some 'think' time and have decided that I'm not going to pursue this any more” “I thought I would change my mind as things settled around me but neither hasn't happened so ...”

Now, I can readily interpret what the above says, ie, “not interested in going out with you again.” Now I’ve said the same to others; though by phone not e-mail. And why the “author” was pretty and engaging, I’m pleased not to have been caught up with someone who may have a few issues. And I know enough out pretty engaging women.
[FONT=Consolas]
But my question for female readers is might “pursue this” mean. We’d only gone out a few times, quite pleasant, and I’d also invitedher to dinner party with some friends. But I didn’t feel I knew her that well, nor she me. I had to look carefully to pick her out in crowd. I kinda didn’t think I was pursing anything, just getting to know someone.

Is it a women turn-of-phrase for the same thing?
[COLOR=black][FONT=Consolas]
 
  Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  September 17,2009, 6:38am
j0hn8andy's Avatar

.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2009

California

Posts: 4,848

See profile

Fleuellen wrote :
But my question for female readers is might “pursue this” mean. We’d only gone out a few times, quite pleasant, and I’d also invitedher to dinner party with some friends. But I didn’t feel I knew her that well, nor she me. I had to look carefully to pick her out in crowd. I kinda didn’t think I was pursing anything, just getting to know someone.
Methinks he doth protest too much
Shakespeare (misquoted)
I know you like those quotes!

"Pursue"? It just goes to show that two people can see the same situation and approach it from different viewpoints.

You are correct in your interpretation that she doesn't want to see you anymore. Beyond that, speculation is pointless, and a waste of your time, in my opinion. Unless you want to torture yourself with endless analysis?
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #3  September 17,2009, 7:46am
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

Yeah, I read that a polite way of her saying she isn't interested. A lot of people will date someone with hopes that something will form and realize after several dates that nothing formed. I try to avoid this kind of situation by getting to know someone before I invest a lot of time with them.

I am not going to speculate as to her reasons behind not being interested other than to say it likely had nothing to do with you and I wouldn't worry about it too much.

As far as "female speak", guys do the same thing sometimes.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  September 17,2009, 8:22am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

It is all in how you define the word "pursue". If you feel that "pursuing" something is only an all out attack to win the ultimate prize, in dating a long term relationship.

I define "pursue" as any step taken toward a goal. I will receive a match and will "pursue" getting to know that person better by sending First Questions. The goal in this pursuit is to get a response. I will "pursue" Guided Communication to get to know the person better. The goal in that pursuit is to reach Open Communication. At any point something may change my desire to get to know the person any better and I will choose to not "pursue" the person or process any longer.

She is simply telling you that, for whatever reason, that she is no longer interested in getting to know you better. While I have no clue to what women mean most of the time I don't find her terminology to be "female speak" or containing any hidden meanings.
 
  Reply With Quote
chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #5  September 17,2009, 4:08pm
chawks64's Avatar

is keeping warm with her Honey.

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Southern Nevada

Posts: 6,735

See profile

stevex wrote :
Yeah, I read that a polite way of her saying she isn't interested. A lot of people will date someone with hopes that something will form and realize after several dates that nothing formed. I try to avoid this kind of situation by getting to know someone before I invest a lot of time with them.

I am not going to speculate as to her reasons behind not being interested other than to say it likely had nothing to do with you and I wouldn't worry about it too much.

As far as "female speak", guys do the same thing sometimes.

^ This.
 
  Reply With Quote
pamcam is offline pamcam Post #6  September 17,2009, 5:10pm
pamcam's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

El Paso, Texas

Posts: 641

See profile

For myself it would mean that the potential for pursuing a relationship no longer exists, for whatever reason. I am also one who enjoys being pursued by a man who is confident in who he is. There is a big difference between chasing a woman, and pursuing her...and the potential for creating a real relationship. A man who pursues is serious, knows what he wants, and is relationship minded; he creates his own destiny, rather than passively, aimlessly...wander.
 
  Reply With Quote
richey is offline richey Post #7  October 2,2009, 8:21am
richey's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

san francisco, ca

Posts: 2,531

See profile

Okay.. I didn't quite understand 1/2 yer post but the important parts I did (atleast what I thought the important parts were).

1. She's not interested in seeing you and not interested in developing a relationship.

2. It means her mindset during your interaction was that you two were deciding whether to "pursue" something together or not.

In the end it doesn't matter, in the case of interpreting her email, what you thought you guys were doing ~ it's pretty clearly stating what she felt you guys were doing, and she wasn't interested in doing that anymore.

Bad luck but hey ~ if tha'ts how she felt, not much you can do about it and somebody else said, not really well-spent energy breaking it down anymore.

Richey
 
  Reply With Quote
landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #8  October 2,2009, 9:56am
landstar59's Avatar

Wondering why I ever left this place. Came back and now I know why.

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2008

30.5 Lat / -90.45 Long

Posts: 1,922

See profile

Would you rather she stated more plainly, "I'm just not that into you"?

I think she was trying to word it in a polite manner and not hurt your feelings. You understood her woman speak just perfectly....so.... what's the problem?
 
  Reply With Quote
Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #9  October 2,2009, 9:59am
Glider_Pilot's Avatar

Out there. Somewhere.

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

Orange County, CA

Posts: 2,409

See profile

Move on. It's over.
 
  Reply With Quote
MansPOV is offline MansPOV Post #10  October 2,2009, 12:03pm
MansPOV's Avatar

: A computer once beat me at chess... but it was no match for me in boxing!

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

Sacramento, CA

Posts: 68

See profile

Fleuellen wrote :
...I’m pleased not to have been caught up with someone who may have a few issues.
Issues? She simply said she's not interested in going out further. And you're here debating the meaning of the word pursue...

'nuff said
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Possible oppurtunity... advice? | Dating | Unique date »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Favorite female singer? eHA_Admin_Lori Music 48 August 6,2011 10:39pm
When can the female begin initiating dates/plans? Checkingin Ask a Dating Expert 14 September 22,2009 1:37pm
CSC Speak IRL..... myharleysgotpink AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 8 June 2,2009 10:02pm
My Boyfriend is Calling Female Escorts Off the Internet turquoisepink Dating 31 May 16,2009 1:48pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:48pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0