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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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“...had some 'think' time and have decided that I'm not going to pursue this any more” “I thought I would change my mind as things settled around me but neither hasn't happened so ...”

Now, I can readily interpret what the above says, ie, “not interested in going out with you again.” Now I’ve said the same to others; though by phone not e-mail. And why the “author” was pretty and engaging, I’m pleased not to have been caught up with someone who may have a few issues. And I know enough out pretty engaging women.

But my question for female readers is might “pursue this” mean. We’d only gone out a few times, quite pleasant, and I’d also invitedher to dinner party with some friends. But I didn’t feel I knew her that well, nor she me. I had to look carefully to pick her out in crowd. I kinda didn’t think I was pursing anything, just getting to know someone.

Is it a women turn-of-phrase for the same thing?

- September 17th, 2009, 06:53 am
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
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Fleuellen wrote :
But my question for female readers is might “pursue this” mean. We’d only gone out a few times, quite pleasant, and I’d also invitedher to dinner party with some friends. But I didn’t feel I knew her that well, nor she me. I had to look carefully to pick her out in crowd. I kinda didn’t think I was pursing anything, just getting to know someone.
Methinks he doth protest too much
Shakespeare (misquoted)
I know you like those quotes!

"Pursue"? It just goes to show that two people can see the same situation and approach it from different viewpoints.

You are correct in your interpretation that she doesn't want to see you anymore. Beyond that, speculation is pointless, and a waste of your time, in my opinion. Unless you want to torture yourself with endless analysis?
- September 17th, 2009, 07:38 am
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stevex stevex is offline
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Yeah, I read that a polite way of her saying she isn't interested. A lot of people will date someone with hopes that something will form and realize after several dates that nothing formed. I try to avoid this kind of situation by getting to know someone before I invest a lot of time with them.

I am not going to speculate as to her reasons behind not being interested other than to say it likely had nothing to do with you and I wouldn't worry about it too much.

As far as "female speak", guys do the same thing sometimes.
- September 17th, 2009, 08:46 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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It is all in how you define the word "pursue". If you feel that "pursuing" something is only an all out attack to win the ultimate prize, in dating a long term relationship.

I define "pursue" as any step taken toward a goal. I will receive a match and will "pursue" getting to know that person better by sending First Questions. The goal in this pursuit is to get a response. I will "pursue" Guided Communication to get to know the person better. The goal in that pursuit is to reach Open Communication. At any point something may change my desire to get to know the person any better and I will choose to not "pursue" the person or process any longer.

She is simply telling you that, for whatever reason, that she is no longer interested in getting to know you better. While I have no clue to what women mean most of the time I don't find her terminology to be "female speak" or containing any hidden meanings.
- September 17th, 2009, 09:22 am
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chawks64 chawks64 is online now
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chawks64 is trying very hard to be patient. Definitely not my best talent.

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stevex wrote :
Yeah, I read that a polite way of her saying she isn't interested. A lot of people will date someone with hopes that something will form and realize after several dates that nothing formed. I try to avoid this kind of situation by getting to know someone before I invest a lot of time with them.

I am not going to speculate as to her reasons behind not being interested other than to say it likely had nothing to do with you and I wouldn't worry about it too much.

As far as "female speak", guys do the same thing sometimes.

^ This.
- September 17th, 2009, 05:08 pm
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pamcam pamcam is offline
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For myself it would mean that the potential for pursuing a relationship no longer exists, for whatever reason. I am also one who enjoys being pursued by a man who is confident in who he is. There is a big difference between chasing a woman, and pursuing her...and the potential for creating a real relationship. A man who pursues is serious, knows what he wants, and is relationship minded; he creates his own destiny, rather than passively, aimlessly...wander.
- September 17th, 2009, 06:10 pm
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richey richey is offline
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Okay.. I didn't quite understand 1/2 yer post but the important parts I did (atleast what I thought the important parts were).

1. She's not interested in seeing you and not interested in developing a relationship.

2. It means her mindset during your interaction was that you two were deciding whether to "pursue" something together or not.

In the end it doesn't matter, in the case of interpreting her email, what you thought you guys were doing ~ it's pretty clearly stating what she felt you guys were doing, and she wasn't interested in doing that anymore.

Bad luck but hey ~ if tha'ts how she felt, not much you can do about it and somebody else said, not really well-spent energy breaking it down anymore.

Richey
- October 2nd, 2009, 09:21 am
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landstar59 landstar59 is offline
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Would you rather she stated more plainly, "I'm just not that into you"?

I think she was trying to word it in a polite manner and not hurt your feelings. You understood her woman speak just perfectly....so.... what's the problem?
- October 2nd, 2009, 10:56 am
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Glider_Pilot Glider_Pilot is offline
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Move on. It's over.
- October 2nd, 2009, 10:59 am
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MansPOV MansPOV is offline
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Fleuellen wrote :
...I’m pleased not to have been caught up with someone who may have a few issues.
Issues? She simply said she's not interested in going out further. And you're here debating the meaning of the word pursue...

'nuff said
- October 2nd, 2009, 01:03 pm
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