proceeding past casual dating


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aquasprite is offline aquasprite Post #1  September 15,2009, 7:50pm
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I've had the good fortune of casually dating for the first time in my life more than 1 person. I met and started dating two great men about the same time and at this point I've dated each about 5 or 6 times over the past month. Both are true introverts (as I am..but less so) and respectful. It wasn't till this past weekend that I actually received a kiss from both! It's been nice to be able to relax and be myself around each one without worrying where things were headed, etc., etc. and I think has been a large part of my "success" so far. .... but now I find myself not knowing what to do. My gut tells me nothing and to wait it out. I emailed guy A after dinner at his place and our amazing first kiss(es) and have not heard a response. We've been kayaking twice and out to dinner/movies. And talked to guy B on the phone since then. I know that guy A (who's not responded to my Monday email...yet) is newly divorced and actively on dating sites....so although I'm more attracted to him I'm leary he's in the "kid in a candy store phase". I've met guy B's friends already and our talks are more "open" and building in relating value. I was matched up with B 2 years ago on eH and just recently met him after bumping into each other on FB.

So, please reiterate what I know to be true. Chill out...play it cool. They've both had enough time around me to know whether or not they want to ask me out again and I shouldn't continue to call or email either one of them post long-awaited first kiss. Thoughts?
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #2  September 15,2009, 7:55pm

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my thought is....you are my hero. 6 dates each, way to go! that is hard for me to do... once I get to date 3 with someone I have a hard time thinking about others.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #3  September 15,2009, 7:58pm
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I think you've got the right idea: just let things play out naturally. There are a lot of women who would be envious of you, I suppose.

This would probably be a good time to think about what it is that you're looking for in terms of a relationship. If it's something long-term, then the newly divorced man may not be available emotionally. After a year or so he might be.

The other guy sounds like he might be a keeper. Either way, just wait for them to call. It's only Tuesday, right? Good luck!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  September 15,2009, 7:59pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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A problem I have is....when I'm dating more than 2 women at the same time I start forgetting who told me what....and who I told what to. : /
 
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aquasprite is offline aquasprite Post #5  September 15,2009, 8:14pm
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cp30 wrote :
once I get to date 3 with someone I have a hard time thinking about others.

Me too! Usually after 2 dates I begin to get my hopes up in someone and that starts to flavor my actions and expectations....which has been tricky for me in the past.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #6  September 15,2009, 8:15pm

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jayjay wrote :
A problem I have is....when I'm dating more than 2 women at the same time I start forgetting who told me what....and who I told what to. : /
I've been on the other end of that....it's not good. I don't need some lesser woman screwing with my personna.

When I first started dating my last boyfriend he would bring up conversations we never had...and this girl was annoying...things I would never think, he thought I thought!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  September 15,2009, 8:17pm
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jayjay wrote :
A problem I have is....when I'm dating more than 2 women at the same time I start forgetting who told me what....and who I told what to. : /
I have this problem also but to compound it I can't remember if I told my match something or if it was talking to one of my friends.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  September 15,2009, 8:19pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I have this problem also but to compound it I can't remember if I told my match something or if it was talking to one of my friends.
If your date calls you on it....just say "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have been drunk that night."
 
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aquasprite is offline aquasprite Post #9  September 15,2009, 8:22pm
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jayjay wrote :
A problem I have is....when I'm dating more than 2 women at the same time I start forgetting who told me what....and who I told what to. : /
It's insane trying to keep up. I stopped eH and another site and just focused on communicating with A and B. That's why I finally threw them both an easy way to get closer and move into my space this weekend. I thought this will be the weekend. I'll kiss both and then it will be as clear as day which one I'm interested in and which is interested in me. It may still turn out that way...just trying to be patient.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  September 15,2009, 8:23pm

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aquasprite wrote :
It's insane trying to keep up. I stopped eH and another site and just focused on communicating with A and B. That's why I finally threw them both an easy way to get closer and move into my space this weekend. I thought this will be the weekend. I'll kiss both and then it will be as clear as day which one I'm interested in and which is interested in me. It may still turn out that way...just trying to be patient.
you are a kissing fool....and my new inspiration!
 
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