Telling your partner likes and dislikes.


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stevex is offline stevex Post #1  September 15,2009, 12:55pm
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I am sure most of you have stories like the following. I enjoy bowling, I am not very good at it, but I like going when I have someone to go with. So a couple of weeks ago I mentioned to my friend of female persuasion that we should go bowling sometime, expecting if she wasn't interested in that activity to say so. But she said sure and so Sunday we went to the bowling alley and played a few games. After we left, she started to say something but said "never mind", I eventually got her to say what she was thinking (because frankly, I find speaking ones mind to be very important). She confessed she actually hated bowling.

Have you ever done things you didn't like or tried food or drinks that you knew you would not like simply to satisfy the person you were dating rather than to speak your mind?

I am under the impression that I should always speak up. That doesn't mean if my partner wants to see a terrible movie or take me along as she shops for clothes that I am going to object because I believe any good relationship people make compromises. However, I wouldn't have taken her bowling as a date if I knew she didn't enjoy it ahead of time.

So have you ever not told a partner you didn't like something in order to make him or her happy? Why would you not be open about your thoughts?
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #2  September 15,2009, 1:21pm
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My dating experience is too limited to answer this question in quite that respect, but in other situations--friends, family--sure I have. (And I would with a date, too.) Bowling, playing cards, a movie/music/sport I wasn't crazy about, food... (though I have allergies, so things can get more difficult there!). But in these cases I'm there for the company and, in good company, can enjoy myself, and help others enjoy themselves, almost no matter what the activity is.

I might, just might, later say that I don't enjoy thus-and-such but that I had fun anyway and was grateful to be included, because it's true.
 
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KiskaKitty is offline KiskaKitty Post #3  September 15,2009, 1:23pm
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Can't say I've ever lied about liking something. I'm just not they shy type when it comes to expressing what I do and don't like. That being said I am willing to comprise and even participate in activities I'm not particularly fond of, such as volleyball or softball. I'll even play hard and win. The things we do for love...or at least to look good.

(ok, so in the end I had fun and would play with my Honey and his friends again, but I'm not going to join a volleyball or softball league any time soon)
 
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pamcam is offline pamcam Post #4  September 15,2009, 1:29pm
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The activity isn't important; it's enjoying one another and the sharing of ourselves that is meaningful. I think in order to become more whole, and integrate our opposite masculine or feminine energy, it is important to have an open mind and the willingness to stretch ourselves outside of our comfort zones and "do" things that we would 'normally' not do. It's also all in the attitude that we bring w/ us and to our level and our partner's level of enjoyment.
Last edited by pamcam; September 15,2009 at 1:32pm.
 
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Bootsky is offline Bootsky Post #5  September 15,2009, 2:10pm
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I have done this. I do truly feel that dating/relationships are about compromises and sometimes it's not worth it to speak up if it is something your partner really wants to do. I just went to see Inglorious Basterds with a date because he REALLY wanted to see the movie. I mean, the movie I wanted to see I doubt he would have liked, so someone had to compromise. After the movie was over he was like "that's not really your type of movie was it?" I said no not really and he said "well thank you for coming to see it with me." I know he appreciated it. It's more about spending time with someone then anything.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #6  September 15,2009, 2:15pm
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For me, part of the fun in learning about a new person, friend or lover, is the discovery of new horizons. It's what I enjoy most about our differences.

I've gone to action movies on my own birthday, I've eaten raw octupus, and jalapenos are now a staple in my kitchen. All because of somebody else. My most memorable vacations were to destinations not of my own choosing.

If I want to do the same old thing all the time, my own company will do just fine, Thank You! The only thing I'd have to concern myself with there is fighting my own boredom.

In the end, I believe the things we regret are the things we didn't do. Not the things we did.
 
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