Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
stevex stevex is offline
stevex's Avatar

stevex Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 906

See profile

I am sure most of you have stories like the following. I enjoy bowling, I am not very good at it, but I like going when I have someone to go with. So a couple of weeks ago I mentioned to my friend of female persuasion that we should go bowling sometime, expecting if she wasn't interested in that activity to say so. But she said sure and so Sunday we went to the bowling alley and played a few games. After we left, she started to say something but said "never mind", I eventually got her to say what she was thinking (because frankly, I find speaking ones mind to be very important). She confessed she actually hated bowling.

Have you ever done things you didn't like or tried food or drinks that you knew you would not like simply to satisfy the person you were dating rather than to speak your mind?

I am under the impression that I should always speak up. That doesn't mean if my partner wants to see a terrible movie or take me along as she shops for clothes that I am going to object because I believe any good relationship people make compromises. However, I wouldn't have taken her bowling as a date if I knew she didn't enjoy it ahead of time.

So have you ever not told a partner you didn't like something in order to make him or her happy? Why would you not be open about your thoughts?
- September 15th, 2009, 01:55 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
Iconography Iconography is offline
Iconography's Avatar

Iconography is trying to view the picture from a better angle

Pacesetter

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 462

See profile

My dating experience is too limited to answer this question in quite that respect, but in other situations--friends, family--sure I have. (And I would with a date, too.) Bowling, playing cards, a movie/music/sport I wasn't crazy about, food... (though I have allergies, so things can get more difficult there!). But in these cases I'm there for the company and, in good company, can enjoy myself, and help others enjoy themselves, almost no matter what the activity is.

I might, just might, later say that I don't enjoy thus-and-such but that I had fun anyway and was grateful to be included, because it's true.
- September 15th, 2009, 02:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
KiskaKitty KiskaKitty is offline
KiskaKitty's Avatar

KiskaKitty Me-oooooow!

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 171

See profile

Can't say I've ever lied about liking something. I'm just not they shy type when it comes to expressing what I do and don't like. That being said I am willing to comprise and even participate in activities I'm not particularly fond of, such as volleyball or softball. I'll even play hard and win. The things we do for love...or at least to look good.

(ok, so in the end I had fun and would play with my Honey and his friends again, but I'm not going to join a volleyball or softball league any time soon)
- September 15th, 2009, 02:23 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
pamcam pamcam is offline
pamcam's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 222

See profile

The activity isn't important; it's enjoying one another and the sharing of ourselves that is meaningful. I think in order to become more whole, and integrate our opposite masculine or feminine energy, it is important to have an open mind and the willingness to stretch ourselves outside of our comfort zones and "do" things that we would 'normally' not do. It's also all in the attitude that we bring w/ us and to our level and our partner's level of enjoyment.
Last edited by pamcam; September 15th, 2009 at 02:32 pm.
- September 15th, 2009, 02:29 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
Bootsky Bootsky is offline
Bootsky's Avatar

Bootsky is wishing for good things to happen!

Quick Study

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 142

See profile

I have done this. I do truly feel that dating/relationships are about compromises and sometimes it's not worth it to speak up if it is something your partner really wants to do. I just went to see Inglorious Basterds with a date because he REALLY wanted to see the movie. I mean, the movie I wanted to see I doubt he would have liked, so someone had to compromise. After the movie was over he was like "that's not really your type of movie was it?" I said no not really and he said "well thank you for coming to see it with me." I know he appreciated it. It's more about spending time with someone then anything.
- September 15th, 2009, 03:10 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
j0hn8andy's Avatar

j0hn8andy .....a Flash in the Pan.....is Gone with the Wind.....

Veteran

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 1,434

See profile

For me, part of the fun in learning about a new person, friend or lover, is the discovery of new horizons. It's what I enjoy most about our differences.

I've gone to action movies on my own birthday, I've eaten raw octupus, and jalapenos are now a staple in my kitchen. All because of somebody else. My most memorable vacations were to destinations not of my own choosing.

If I want to do the same old thing all the time, my own company will do just fine, Thank You! The only thing I'd have to concern myself with there is fighting my own boredom.

In the end, I believe the things we regret are the things we didn't do. Not the things we did.
- September 15th, 2009, 03:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

« Her heart says yes, her mind says no! | Array | Eharmony matches confused »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month-on Valentine's Day, it will be our 9th date. I have no idea if he is getting me a gift or not but he is taking me out to dinner and has been ... ” – GEF2

Join the “Should I get him a gift???” discussion

“ It kinda has the feel of an interview. I think if you fast track with someone it's probably better to carry on some kind of dialogue instead of sending questions (as you would be doing in GC ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “Are these questions odd” discussion

“Does he know that you are going to be doing all this cooking for him? If not, tell him in the card what your present will be. The fabulous cooking. When he told you that he was giving you a ... ” – newbie40something

Join the “valentine's gift” discussion

“My heart usually leads then I start to use my head a bit too much and end up over thinking everything. I've recently tried using my head more. Being a bit more logical but also keeping my heart and ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “In relationships: heart or head?” discussion

“Most of the joy of a Valentine's gift is the meaning and emotions behind it. If I don't share those emotions, I cannot enjoy the gift. So if the gift was candy, you would throw it away rather than ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “No Valentines” discussion

“Normally I would be concerned about this, but the bottom line is that he isn't trying to hide any of this from you. I dated a player once (oops) and he had tons of women on his facebook profile. ... ” – bretagne89

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion

“Why the assumption that we're eating anything on the first date?” – mrflyer

Join the “What Not to Eat and Drink on a First Date” discussion

“Actual LOL!!!” – PY_2

Join the “Where is my queen charming?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:01 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0