librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #1  September 15,2009, 9:40am
librarybabe's Avatar

is Mrs. Rix! At last!

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

living a dream in the Northwest

Posts: 677

See profile

It was brought up in another thread that men and women may define commitment in a relationship differently.

So how would you define commitment? What would it look like to you? And what would you have to see in the opposite sex in order to be willing to commit to them (other than of course being gorgeous.)?

Lizzie's added question: At what level of commitment does it mean forever?
Last edited by librarybabe; September 15,2009 at 2:06pm. Reason: Lizzie's smarter than me.
 
  Reply With Quote
cwhite1028 is offline cwhite1028 Post #2  September 15,2009, 9:48am
cwhite1028's Avatar

7 more hours till Vacation.....

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2009

Atlanta, GA

Posts: 171

See profile

librarybabe wrote :
It was brought up in another thread that men and women may define commitment in a relationship differently.

So how would you define commitment? What would it look like to you? And what would you have to see in the opposite sex in order to be willing to commit to them (other than of course being gorgeous.)?
I think everyone has thier own opinion on commitment. I for one am pretty strict about it once I am in a relationship. In the 13 years I was married, I never once broke the golden rule and I had every opportunity to since I travel for a living.

To me trust and commitment go hand and hand and if you cannot trust and be committed to the person your with then you have no business being with them.
 
  Reply With Quote
starlit is offline starlit Post #3  September 15,2009, 10:16am
starlit's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

USA

Posts: 2

See profile

I believe it is true that you have to trust the person I was with the nicest guy, but he lied repeatedly which meant i could not trust him and I had no respect. One needs respect and with the respect comes truth and fullfilment
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  September 15,2009, 10:21am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

librarybabe wrote :
So how would you define commitment?
So in thinking about this question....the first thing that comes to mind is 'commitment' being defined as an exclusive relationship. Maybe it encompasses other things....such as an implied dedication to sticking with the relationship even if something comes up that may threaten it.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  September 15,2009, 10:47am
lacedwithhope's Avatar

loves the word "queeved..."

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,333

See profile

I would define commitment as the choice to make the relationship a priority and communicate realistic expectations -- not being distracted by other options or minor setbacks. Exclusivity/trust and the attitude that you're in the relationship for the long haul (as jayjay stated) are consistent with my idea of commitment. I also think that commitment and what it means to each partner needs to be clearly communicated before it can be assumed -- what may seem obvious to one partner may not be part of the other's concept of commitment.
 
  Reply With Quote
pds857 is offline pds857 Post #6  September 15,2009, 10:54am
pds857's Avatar

Have Mercy! Its sure been a Long time!

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2009

Ky

Posts: 759

See profile

To me commitment is a mutual understanding between 2 people, that we will stay loyal, we will not cheat, we will work through the hard times as well as we can, and in the end, if we dont want to be commited to this person, we will speak up, an take the appropriate actions there after. (whatever those actions may be)

To me commitment is where I give myself, all of myself to a relationship. Commitment to me is basically engagment or marriage, anything up to that is what it is.
Last edited by pds857; September 15,2009 at 10:55am. Reason: Yea, what laced said, +1 :D
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  September 15,2009, 10:57am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

From the Urban Dictionary
Commitment: sticking with something long after the mood you have said it in has left you.. (that's the only definition from this site that I can post here)

I suppose to get into a committed relationship I need to have seen quite a bit of behavior by a woman that I like....so that if I then see something I don't like I'm still willing to stick around and deal with it. Whereas, if I see some behavior I really don't like early on I'll be gone.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  September 15,2009, 11:25am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

This is a good question. So what does commitment mean to you LibraryBabe?

I think that pds857 is closest but you need to have exclusivity in the definition.

And you need to have committed to the relationship well before engagement or marriage.
 
  Reply With Quote
cardguy is offline cardguy Post #9  September 15,2009, 11:51am
cardguy's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Aug 2009

Oregon

Posts: 1,226

See profile

Well, just speaking generally commitment has a whole range of levels, from "I will be there at 7 for dinner" to "I will pursue an exclusive relationship with you" to "I will spend the rest of my life with you through thick and thin". Different levels of commitment are appropriate to different stages of a relationship, but I don't think commitment is a switch that you suddenly flip from off to on overnight.

In the sense of the phrase "a committed relationship", I'd say it means something a little more than just exclusive dating, but I'd be hard-pressed to quantify it exactly.
 
  Reply With Quote
pds857 is offline pds857 Post #10  September 15,2009, 12:08pm
pds857's Avatar

Have Mercy! Its sure been a Long time!

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2009

Ky

Posts: 759

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
This is a good question. So what does commitment mean to you LibraryBabe?

I think that pds857 is closest but you need to have exclusivity in the definition.

And you need to have committed to the relationship well before engagement or marriage.
I was gonna say exclusivity, but I wasnt sure it was a word plus thats a lotta word for this lil country gal. lol

But I pretty much agree with Laced, an Cardguy I believe his name is.

There are stages of commitment, but there has to be a Mutual Understanding between the two that are entering into the 'Commited' relationship.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« I'm 20 and have never dated before, what's there to know? | Dating | A Summer Rollarcoaster Ride »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Survey: First Open Communication MommyGetCoffee Using eHarmony 11 January 3,2010 10:45am
Sex survey for Men librarybabe Dating 126 December 13,2009 5:30pm
A TRUE Getting to Know You Survey. HarryG AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 60 August 13,2009 9:48pm
have you received the latest survey pussinboots Using eHarmony 3 July 18,2009 7:36pm
This is a food survey coffeegeek AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 42 July 13,2009 1:19pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:52pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0