Does anyone else feel this way about match? Help.


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GC106 is offline GC106 Post #1  September 13,2009, 6:23pm
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So I am on match.com ok? Now I consider myself to be a successful guy, friendly, funny, good job, been told am attractive and looking younger then my age (35), always had long term relationships with good looking women (not a serial dater, always one serious relationship after the other......maybe that is my problem.) I was engaged last year and feel it is time I am ready to get back out there. Most of my friends are married or married with kids, so socially.....not much to do or go meet people.

So maybe it is a NYC thing, but it seems I get into a conversation on email with some one.....(I keep it simple, unless the conversation gets going) I don't come off as a creep...........and then boom.......they dissappear? Never even got to meet me or talk live? I some times feel like match is a shopping cart and women chat with you and then they meet the next best thing.....and poof....they are gone. Anyone else feel this way too? I did go on a few dates here and there, but just did not feel any chemistry.Just frustrated as since being 35 and I was in the midwest for 3 years so I pretty much lost my circle of friends. They are more the type that don't go out unless they are with couples. Sorry for the sob story. LOL
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 13,2009, 6:29pm
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Yes, that is how online dating is. It sounds like you're doing better than I did.

Keep in mind, that in two weeks a woman may get hundreds of e-mail.

You may be good, but think for a moment how good you have to be, to stay at the top of her list, with that? Especially in NYC.

My rule, when I used Match, was to let them contact me, and then go out as soon as possible. Best method of all I tried.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #3  September 13,2009, 6:40pm
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Your dating experiences will vary... My latest stint has been less successful than my first last year... The time of year can make a difference... For example: A couple of months before holidays is better than during the holidays.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  September 13,2009, 6:53pm
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Well you certainly are having a lot more luck with Match than I ever did. Of the four girls that ever answered my e-mails I did go out with them, once. But 99% never even answered. (If I had used D_Lion's approach and let them contact me I would have had no communication). But your story is much the same as my experience with the girls on eHamony. Of the ones that start communicating most will poof sometime before meeting.

I do see a wee problem that you are facing. You are from the midwest living in NYC. I suspect that you probably just don't "fit in". Don't have any suggestion on what to do about that.
 
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GC106 is offline GC106 Post #5  September 13,2009, 6:57pm
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Thanks all. Actually I am from NYC, but moved to the midwest for a job promotion for 3 years. Weird as I met two long term relationships there. One for like 1 1/2 years, and the other was my ex-fiance I brought back from the midwest. But since I called off the engagement last year I can't get a break.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  September 13,2009, 7:05pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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OP: yes, I expect that kind of thing happens alot, even in places other than NYC. My advice is to make sure you have other ways of meeting women. You'll probably save yourself a lot of grief if you don't try relying on a website as your only means of finding women. Just let it be one more avenue for possibly finding someone. Good luck.
 
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GC106 is offline GC106 Post #7  September 13,2009, 7:11pm
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I hear ya. I just kinda feel hopeless as all my friends are married and really don't go out and if they do, it always has to be with couples. I am just no the type to go out solo to a bar or club. With me being a way for three years and then right to be engaged......I kinda lost my social network.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #8  September 13,2009, 7:12pm

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GC so you are back in NYC??
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #9  September 13,2009, 7:15pm
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Women out number men by a lot in NYC. Are you choosing realistic ones?
Last edited by beachgirl5; September 13,2009 at 7:48pm.
 
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GC106 is offline GC106 Post #10  September 13,2009, 7:21pm
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CaptCrunch23 wrote :
GC so you are back in NYC??
yeah been back for two years. Was engaged the first.

wrote :
Women out number by a lot in NYC. Are you choosing realistic ones?
yeah I think I am. I mean I email girls that look and have similar to what I am looking for and also (yes sounds silly) but look like some of my ex's in terms of what I find attractive. It just seems like so many here also are more concerned with your wallet then you. some even straight up post it. LOL
 
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