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Why are women so shallow?

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

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theweave

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Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 126

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During last weekends free communication weekend, I managed to get through all of the steps with one match who happened to live near me (same city!).

We made it to Open Communication and she admitted that she was not a paying member. I had mentioned that I saw her picture and had like it, and she wrote back saying it was only fair if she could see mine and gave me her email address.

So I sent her a couple of pictures that I had of me, from vacation at Walt Disney World.

I get a reply back that she didnt' get "butterflies" when she saw my picture and was basically not interested in me anymore.

I wrote her back and told her that it was obvious that we had stuff in common (we never would have matched if we didn't right?) and we went through all the steps on EH and now she was not interested because of a picture???

I asked her this (a friend told me this once):

Which would you rather be with:

A) a hunk of a guy who treated you like crap
B) an average looking guy who treated you the way you should be treated

She never did answer my email back to her, so I blew her off and my search continues.

Why do poeple base stuff on looks without even meeting or talking to you? Shouldn't you get to know the person first?

Why are women so shallow?

- September 12th, 2009, 09:57 pm

MansPOV

MansPOV : A computer once beat me at chess... but it was no match for me in boxing!

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Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 68

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First of all, don't blame women, men do the exact same thing! People do it to each other all the time.

I just experienced the exact same thing with this last free weekend. Made it through to open communication, had a lot in common, we exchanged numbers and chatted for a couple hours on the phone before she mentioned that she hadn't seen my picture. At that point I knew the chances of moving forward had dropped like a rock. I emailed her some pics that evening and POOF haven't heard from her since. Not even a "thanks but no thanks" email. At least you got the "no butterflies" speech.

You hear a lot of people say: I wasn't really attracted to them at first but as I got to know them, they became more and more attractive. The problem with getting to know someone without the visual first, is that people have a tendency to create a mental image of you in their minds that invariably surpasses the reality. That is to say, you've already BECOME more attractive to them, in their mind! However the reality is still the reality. Trust me, we've all seen that: "Oh, I thought you'd be hotter" look at one point or another.

That being said, YOU need to understand that looks are just one of the parameters of this big, fuzzy, online dating game, and you can't change that. So you either learn to accept it or log onto real life where people can see you BEFORE you meet them.

- September 14th, 2009, 10:53 pm

MelinCali

MelinCali is seeing stars.

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