Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #81  October 5,2009, 1:18am
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lxp wrote :
For the men: how do you define respect? What does it look like to you when a woman shows you respect?
Arrh, you Google it?

re·spect·ed, re·spect·ing, re·spects
1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
3. To relate or refer to; concern.
n. 1. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. See Synonyms at regard.
2. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.
3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.
4. respects Polite expressions of consideration or deference: pay one's respects.
5. A particular aspect, feature, or detail: In many respects this is an important decision.
6. Usage Problem Relation; reference. See Usage Note at regard.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #82  October 5,2009, 6:11am
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I've seen quite a few women doing some of the more disrespectful things, like treating the man like a child or criticizing him in public, and I've never understood it. It's really hurtful since it's basically saying they're incompetent. And that's one of the most painful things you can tell a man.

As far as compliments go, there's usually a lot of baggage associated with that. I know it's very difficult for me to accept a compliment due to a couple of past relationships that were not healthy. So now, when I man tells me I look pretty, I have to fight 18 years of "No you don't" and just accept it with a Thank You and a smile.

Not readily accepting a compliment has less to do with respecting the giver's opinion and more to do with managing the recipient's past. Having said that, I still believe it's something they need to get over and learn how to accept compliments, whether they believe them to be accurate or not.
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #83  October 5,2009, 10:44am
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MelinCali wrote :
Hurray, proof that GP's not always right!
LOL. Nice try, thanks for playing. And bring it on the pool game, scientist lady. I had to hold our end of the game up against Liz, but you do what you can.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #84  October 6,2009, 9:47am
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Glider_Pilot wrote :
  1. Accept me for who I really am, in all my broken glory.
  2. Don't try and change me.
  3. Don't try and change my interests, my friends, or my points of view.
  4. If I'm not what you want, leave me so that I can find someone who does want me for who I am.
  5. Let me speak my mind when I want to speak it.
  6. Let me be quiet when I want to be quiet.
  7. Don't try and be my mommy.
  8. Don't tell your friends that it's like I'm another one of your kids.
  9. Actually tell me what you're thinking and feeling. Straight out.
  10. Recognize that hints are not an effective form of relationship communication.
  11. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
  12. When I apologize, accept it.
  13. When I compliment you, accept it.
  14. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you understand me better than I understand myself. You don't.
  15. Unless I ask for help, allow me to handle my own problems unimpeded.
  16. Treat me like I really matter in your life.
  17. Be on time.
I love this list....and it brings up some excellent points on what makes a man feel respected. Now we women must take note....for it seems that a few things on the list are innate for us and now that we know it makes a guy feel disrespected, we should respect that and try to change our behavior. I need to print this for future reference.
 
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zal is offline zal Post #85  October 6,2009, 3:33pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
hmm, i don't know about the second guessing thing.

respect is not unconditional support. if someone is doing something stupid, i think they should know. ( in the kindest, most diplomatic way possible)
I agree. Typically "Hey maroon, nice one" with a slap on my head works. (Well, that's the best I can do without getting modded."
 
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