dating and his daughter doesn't like me.HELP!


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cyndik8 is offline cyndik8 Post #1  September 12,2009, 10:51am
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Dating a single father? and his child doesn't like me. He is caught in the middle. Nice man, shows he cares for me. Takes his daughter's side when we're all together.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 12,2009, 11:03am
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Dating him long enough that he is worth the trouble to either work through the child’s behavior, or live with it?
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #3  September 12,2009, 11:04am
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Is there a specific issue the daughter has with/about you? Or is it you are taking dad's attention from her??
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  September 12,2009, 11:11am
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cyndik8 wrote :
Dating a single father? and his child doesn't like me. He is caught in the middle. Nice man, shows he cares for me. Takes his daughter's side when we're all together.
consider this insight into the future, be grateful for it and move on.
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #5  September 12,2009, 11:15am
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Hard to give any advice with more information.

How long have you two been dating?
How old is the daughter and what are the custody arrangements?
How long has he been divorced?
Why does the daughter not like you?
How do you feel about the daughter?
How does the dad take her side?

I am sure there is other information that is relevant as well. She is in his life for good so you need to take her in consideration.
 
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cyndik8 is offline cyndik8 Post #6  September 12,2009, 11:21am
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Exactly,now she has his time and attention.She's the silent,walk right past you type. He's admitted she's been mean. Says he's standing back and watching. He went through long custody battle to get her. He's done nice things for me. He's in the middle. I'm on the outside when we're all together. Wait until she decides she likes me? Feel like I'm up against a wall.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  September 12,2009, 11:27am
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cyndik8 wrote :
Exactly,now she has his time and attention.She's the silent,walk right past you type. He's admitted she's been mean. Says he's standing back and watching. He went through long custody battle to get her. He's done nice things for me. He's in the middle. I'm on the outside when we're all together. Wait until she decides she likes me? Feel like I'm up against a wall.
thats bull. hes not in the middle hes her dad. if HE treats you badly in front of her by allowing her to disrespect you then that is exactly where she will pick up her cues in how to treat you. he doesnt need to call her out right there but if you are important to him he will step up and talk to her. quit making excuses for him.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #8  September 12,2009, 11:28am

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cyndik8 wrote :
Dating a single father? and his child doesn't like me. He is caught in the middle. Nice man, shows he cares for me. Takes his daughter's side when we're all together.
Not enough info to comment! Why should you and the child be on different sides? You catch more kids with a little dolly like Polly Pocket, then you don't without one!

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Dugl is offline Dugl Post #9  September 12,2009, 12:20pm
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Unless the daughter is moving out on her own within the next year....this relationship is doomed. I have never seen a parent in these types of relationships go against their child.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #10  September 12,2009, 12:49pm
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Speaking as a parent of a 17 year old girl, if she disliked the man I was dating, I would give her very firm boundaries with regard to treating him with respect. I would only 'take sides' with her if she raised a point diplomatically and if he was being unreasonable or was misconstruing the situation.

I think you should expect your man to empathize with his daughter and perhaps to feel guilty about spending a little less individual time with her since he's now dating you. But if he's allowing her to be disrespectful to you, that's a huge problem because it suggests that he doesn't respect you as he should.

I definitely agree that you should give it some time. Perhaps she is manipulative and thinks you'll just 'go away.' I would try to hang in there. Good luck!
 
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