Making out on the first Date


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val_1980 is offline val_1980 Post #1  September 12,2009, 6:52am
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So I met a guy for the first time and it seem to be going well. At the end of the date we did make out for a while but didn't go all the way.

I haven't heard from him and yes I knew maybe he wasn't interested but question is it wrong to make out on the first day and what do guys think of girl if they do?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 12,2009, 7:01am
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It's not wrong - just choice.

If it's somehing both wanted, it's a sign they are on the same page - at least at that time, for that reason.

I see this as not an issue; it isn't something I would drop someone for, nor something I would see again an otherwise unsuitable person.

Personally, I do not leave the first meeting without setting up the second.

Unless it has been several days, I would give him some time - or, better, call him.
 
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val_1980 is offline val_1980 Post #3  September 12,2009, 7:13am
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so you think that I should let him contact me first. I never know what do after the date.

I knew that is year 2000 but I'm sure to let the guy contact your first or myself.
 
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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #4  September 12,2009, 7:16am
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val_1980 wrote :
So I met a guy for the first time and it seem to be going well. At the end of the date we did make out for a while but didn't go all the way.

I haven't heard from him and yes I knew maybe he wasn't interested but question is it wrong to make out on the first day and what do guys think of girl if they do?
Be easy on yourself....we have all made first date faux pas when younger (and sometimes well into middle age!).

The most interesting part of your post is when you state you probably knew he wasn't interested. Did you know this before you got hot and heavy with him? If so, was this somehow your way of trying to force interest in you?

I ask these questions, because the first date make-out may not the issue in your case, It may just be that no matter how the date ended he would not have called you anyway.

So...I wouldn't be too hard on myself if I were you. Next time around, try to keep the hot and heavy stuff for after the first date...and if you sense disinterest of any kind, do not allow any make-out sessions at all.

I hope this advice helps...now get back in the game and don't sweat the small stuff gurl!
Last edited by legend29; September 12,2009 at 7:39am. Reason: "fist-dating"???...misspelled word or truly horrible/inappropriate Freudian slip?...egads!
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #5  September 12,2009, 7:28am
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legend29, before anyone else has the chance to comment, "Fist Date"?
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #6  September 12,2009, 7:36am
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The older I get the less inclined I am to have strangers stick their tongues in my mouth. I did plenty of it when I was younger, so please don't think I'm judging.

I think you need to ask yourself what it is YOU want. If it's just the physical satisfaction and you're willing to deal with the consequences (his perhaps not being interested enough to call again) that's one thing. If you're offering that much of yourself hoping to engage his interest, that's problematic.

It is a strange quirk of human nature that we seldom value the things that come easily. A relationship, IMO, is about two people really getting to know one another, on a bone-deep emotional level. That takes time and it takes courage to show our real selves and see the other's. Yes, sex should be part of it, but it will not, in most cases (at least in my experience), be the catalyst or even the glue that holds two people together.
 
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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #7  September 12,2009, 7:41am
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pussinboots wrote :
legend29, before anyone else has the chance to comment, "Fist Date"?
LMAO...I nearly fell off my chair when I read this!

Oh geez.....all I can say is "Thank You..Thank You Very Much" for bringing it to my attention!

(where the heck are my darn specs????)
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  September 12,2009, 7:50am
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It depends on what you are looking for.

If all you are looking for is someone to make out with or hop in the sack with then you are doing it right.

If you are looking for someone to be there for the rest of your life then the longer you keep your panties on and spend the time working on building a firm emotional foundation the more likely the guy is going to be there in the long haul.

Just my $.02 along with my standard disclaimer that I don't know anything about anything.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #9  September 12,2009, 7:52am
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val_1980 wrote :
so you think that I should let him contact me first. I never know what do after the date.

I knew that is year 2000 but I'm sure to let the guy contact your first or myself.

A few times, I get home, have not a communication from her to thank me for the evening I just paid for her. This can be, and has been, reason to let someone sit ... I will leave her a week to write me, to set up the next meeting. Otherwise the sense of entitlement is too overpowering to continue. This only comes up depending on what was said and done on the first meeting, of course.

Also, I like motivated, capable women. Since I set up the first meeting, if she doesn't start to show some initiative rapidly I chalk it up to incompatibility and move on. I can't do both people's work.

Yes, he should call. But so should you.

Men know that too much chasing can freighten the women, too, so some will not push as hard as some women would have wanted.

And, about "rules" and preconceived ideas about who should do what when: none are any better than any other.
 
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Comedian is offline Comedian Post #10  September 12,2009, 8:26am
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How did all this making out get started? I find that men rarely kiss, or even touch, me if I don't give unambiguous signals. Like saying, "Do you want to kiss me?" If I initiate, it's not because I am trying to make someone more interested. It's because I am pretty interested myself.
 
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