Dating an older women


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crazyguy194 is offline crazyguy194 Post #1  September 11,2009, 11:22am
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I have recently started dating an older women (29) and I am 24. She is a very attractive person and rates about 9 out of 10 when it comes to looks, personality, kindness, just a all around great person. I am pretty much the average Joe when it comes to looks, personality, money, etc. We met online and the first time we met in person was at a beach house party her friends were having. Things moved pretty quickly with the flirting and making out, infact we slept in the same bed the first night (no sexual activity) and all her friends seem to like me as well. We have have been dating about two weeks now and have seen each other about 3 times, she is quick to cuddle up next to me and want to kiss me a lot. So my question is; how do I really know if she really wants a relationship? Other than just asking her, I am looking for the signs. Like I said she is a popular person with plenty of guys chasing her I'm sure, but I don't think she is dating anyone else. She seems to be busy a lot so we don't hang out or talk on the phone much, but when we do hang out she does act interested in me with the eye contact and wanting to be close to me. Any advice on this will be greatly apperciated.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 11,2009, 1:45pm
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Honestly, asking is correct.

Spare her, and yourself, the bad idea of "looking for signs" that some other person thinks will let you know.

Does she chose to spend time with you, foregoing other interested men? If that is happending, then the next item is whether you have the same goals for a relationship.

My opinion, is that most 29 year old women (not all, but most) are looking to settle down relatively soon. Much fewer 24 year old men fit that condition.
 
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Kingpin54 is offline Kingpin54 Post #3  September 11,2009, 2:22pm
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Based on what I know about her from your paragraph there, I'd say, so far so good. She obviously likes you enough to keep seeing you. Based on my experience I'd say take a look at her attitude towards a relationship on date #4 and #5. I'm with D_Lion on asking her. Using the signs she has been giving you as backup, go ahead and work it right into the conversation. She seems pretty blunt and knows what she wants (you) so I don't think there would be any harm in putting the question on the table. No sexual activity in bed is a good sign too....the respect factor goes way up in my book there.

Her friends, are they closer to 24, or 29?
 
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Seneca is offline Seneca Post #4  September 11,2009, 4:58pm
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You've known her for two weeks and you're trying to figure out what kind of relationship she wants?

She has peanut butter in her cupboard that she's had longer than two weeks. It's about 6 months too soon to be thinking/talking about extra-serious relationships.

Relax, be yourself, and watch where the situation goes. If she even mentions "long term relationship" before St. Patrick's Day - bail out.

Last edited by Seneca; September 11,2009 at 6:51pm.
 
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sundarama is offline sundarama Post #5  September 11,2009, 5:02pm
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I love to date older woman, they know what they want and dont play games. I say play it cool don't fall in love to quick.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #6  September 11,2009, 5:17pm
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Reading between the lines of your post, it doesn't sound like you are at all too sure why she is even with you in the first place ...she's a 9/10 in every regard? ...you are just "average"? Hmm, self-esteem much?

Honestly, I wish you all the luck in the world, but I have even money on you blowing it for coming on way too fast.

If you honestly and seriously can't figure out what value you are bringing to the relationship, then chances are you aren't bringing any ...and, in this case, I have 2-1 odds on this just being a 'fling' for her, or she's coming out of a relationship and you are the rebound. Enjoy it while it lasts.
 
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jmpsocal is offline jmpsocal Post #7  September 11,2009, 7:31pm
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I am a older woman 42 who is dating a younger man 38. I prefer younger men myself as they have more energy and a zest for life. I say have fun and relax you are both too young to get serious so fast. Yes, I agree that older woman do not play games and for the most part we know what we want but we are still woman...LOL.
 
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crazyguy194 is offline crazyguy194 Post #8  September 11,2009, 7:33pm
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Most of her friends are late 20's early 30's. I do consider myself to be a little more mature than the average 24 year old, work a professional job and usually hang the the older crowd as well. I am for the most part looking to settle down with someone soon, just not sure if she is. But like I said, the time we do spend together is great, she seems interested and keeps eye contact when we talk and I constantly wanting to touch or kiss a lot. She always seems excited when I talk about doing something together next week or whenever. The only thing that really bothers me is that she really does not text/call much, maybe text twice a week when we might be setting up plans. I'm just not use to dating someone older than me and I guess women may act and do things a little different as they get older? I do agree with d_lion and kingpin and just simply talking to her, I was just worried if talking about it too soon might scare her off or if just going about things as they have been and wait awhile before bringing it up. Thanks for the advice guys.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #9  September 11,2009, 9:34pm
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If you've been on three dates then it's way too early to be having very serious relationship talks, this is the time when you're seeing how much fun the other person is, how well you get on in different moods and so on, the basic compatibility foundations of a relationship. Don't build your house on them until they're able to support it.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #10  September 12,2009, 4:39am
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jmpsocal wrote :
I am a older woman 42 who is dating a younger man 38.
After about age 25, an age difference of less than 5 years is unimportant. Yes, 38 is younger than 42 but is the difference really significant to you?

At 42, if you said to me "I'm dating a younger man", I'd assume he was under 30.
 
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