Too Many Questions About Your Job


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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #1  September 11,2009, 5:47am
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I'm rather curious about how others feel about this. When your match or your date persists in asking and digging into what you do for a living over and over again. Do you get annoyed? How do you politely tell them to cut it out already?

If you talk about it and explain what you do and then move on to other topics, but the person keeps coming back to that topic what do you think about it? Do you feel like they are possibly gold digging or do you love to talk about work?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  September 11,2009, 5:54am
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We all spend more time at work than anywhere else. So shouldn't it be a natural topic of conversation? Especially if you can't think of anything else to ask.

If I've explained something to you and you ask a more probing question, it shows me that you listened to what I said and were able to comprehend it. Whether the topic is work or something else, most people take that as a positive thing.

Maybe I don't quite understand what your beef is.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  September 11,2009, 6:03am
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Sorry, specifically my beef is men who are digging too much and asking questions about numbers and finances even if they don't flat out ask how much I'm actually making....it would probably be easier if they did.

Also, if someone deliberately moves on to other topics and the conversation flows, why would you deliberately come back to asking her probing questions about her job?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #4  September 11,2009, 6:13am
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I might really be interested in your job. Although zapping back to job questions from some other topic might be a little odd, if this happened on a first date it wouldn't surprise me, what with both brains running 100 mph in all directions at times.

But questions about numbers and finances crosses the line into my infamous "wrong questions" territory. These are questions that don't have to be answered seriously. "Next time I'll bring my tax return. But you have to do the same." "What is it you really want to know?" "My grandmama told me never to ask money questions to a stranger." Etc.

Are you sure they just don't need a quarter for the parking meter?
 
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QAKittyCat is offline QAKittyCat — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  September 11,2009, 6:23am
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Would this be on the first date?
 
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islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #6  September 11,2009, 6:54am
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DancingFool wrote :
I'm rather curious about how others feel about this. When your match or your date persists in asking and digging into what you do for a living over and over again. Do you get annoyed? How do you politely tell them to cut it out already?

If you talk about it and explain what you do and then move on to other topics, but the person keeps coming back to that topic what do you think about it? Do you feel like they are possibly gold digging or do you love to talk about work?
I don't mind talking about work, but if it's the only topic it 1) annoys me and 2) makes me wonder...how are we going to go further if we can't talk about other stuff. Plus, I can't go into to much detail about my job because of what I do.

I do like to explain it though, because since I work surveillance, I tend to people watch A LOT. So I explain myself, that it's not cause I'm not interested, it's a habit from my job.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  September 11,2009, 7:11am
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It would depend. I very much enjoy my job so I am enthusiastic about it though don't figure that many of my dates are going to understand much about what I do. If it is the only topic they care to talk about then it would seem that they aren't very interesting and well rounded and so there is going to be a problem in common interests.

If they ask the same thing over and over then I would consider that they are not paying attention. That would be a red flag.
 
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86CJ7 is offline 86CJ7 Post #8  September 11,2009, 7:30am

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If they annoyed me as much as you seem to be I would not see them again and it would not be a problem.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #9  September 11,2009, 7:45am
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Wouldn't bother me, unless she kept asking the same thing over and over like Gr8guyn2008 says.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #10  September 11,2009, 7:54am
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The way I handle the "job(s)" topic when asked either about detailed information, or if the topic keeps popping up in the middle of an unrelated conversation is to take control of this particular subject.

Working in 2 unrelated fields, 1 job is pretty "generic" for what it involves, good benes, stable, lots of people skills and all that jazz.
not very exciting to rattle off about.

2nd job has specific requirements, involves sensitive and proprietary information that is confidential. Requires a "real" background investigation, not just a "check".
And I do not, and will not discuss anything related to what I do regardless of whether you may be my "girl friend", or my "wife".

This usually shuts that down pretty well and makes my boudaries clear and with an explanation as to reasons why!!
 
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