Do those "getting your ex back" books work?


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vinlukin is offline vinlukin Post #1  September 11,2009, 4:29am
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I have been thinking about how I messed up a relationship and I would like to give it another go. She broke it off, quite suddenly. I have come to realize the mistakes that I made and why I did some of the things I did. I can see how she lost interest.

Now I know you can't force feelings, and I really don't like playing games, but I feel that if I would have done a few things differently with my behavior we would still be together. I'm far from perfect but I try to learn from my mistakes so I don't repeat them.

So I googled something about trying to win back an ex, and some of these books come up describing systems to win someone back for whatever the reason was that made the relationship end in the first place. Do those things actually work? Before I consider buying one I wanted to research it entirely, I want to make sure I'm not being ripped off.

Things were going great for us until I did something stupid, no I did not cheat or lie, I just acted in a way that was unattractive. I'd like to try to right the wrong, and get another shot at a meaningful relationship. I'd take any advice that would help make that happen.

So thoughts on these books? Please don't flame me, I'm being serious in wanting to fix my mistakes and make something meaningful with someone I care about. I think we had a great time and had so much in common that it is worth trying for once again. TIA.
Last edited by vinlukin; September 11,2009 at 4:32am.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  September 11,2009, 5:32am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I've never read one of those....but a guy I know who is having big problems with his (separated) wife mentioned a book like this to me. The thing is, he's really messed up and has a lot of problems in his own life, in his relationship and I expect his wife is similar. The thing is....I expect that the greatest chance this guy could have for getting himself sorted out would actually be to have the relationship end....not get her back.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  September 11,2009, 5:32am
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I don't know what books you are referring to. I've never seen any.

But before I would pin my hopes on a book, I would try an apology first. Short, direct, to the point.

Tell her you're sorry, and you would like a second chance.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  September 11,2009, 5:36am
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j0hn8andy wrote :
I don't know what books you are referring to. I've never seen any.

But before I would pin my hopes on a book, I would try an apology first. Short, direct, to the point.

Tell her you're sorry, and you would like a second chance.
Seems that may be a good idea. You might want to say a few words about recognizing your mistakes and are working to change your behavior.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  September 11,2009, 5:46am
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Of course on the other had we can look at your ex's behavior. If she broke up with you because of things you were doing or not doing without discussing the problem with you then she is rather shortsighted.

Do you really want to be with someone who is not open and honest with their feeling, wants and desires?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  September 11,2009, 5:46am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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j0hn8andy wrote :
I don't know what books you are referring to. I've never seen any.

But before I would pin my hopes on a book, I would try an apology first. Short, direct, to the point.

Tell her you're sorry, and you would like a second chance.
From what I've heard about these book(s)....they're written exactly for guys who have been 'apologizing' their entire relationship. Doing more of the same won't accomplish anything.
 
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vinlukin is offline vinlukin Post #7  September 11,2009, 5:54am
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j0hn8andy wrote :
I don't know what books you are referring to. I've never seen any.

But before I would pin my hopes on a book, I would try an apology first. Short, direct, to the point.

Tell her you're sorry, and you would like a second chance.

Already did the apology. She said I did nothing wrong, just nothing seemed right. She said she didn't have the same feelings for me, I am fairly certain why. I know there are feelings there, some of her emails to me were rather full of emotions. I want to fix my wrong.

This is an example of a book that I am talking about.

The Magic Of Making Up Review - TW Jackson Warning!
 
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vinlukin is offline vinlukin Post #8  September 11,2009, 5:55am
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j0hn8andy wrote :
I don't know what books you are referring to. I've never seen any.

But before I would pin my hopes on a book, I would try an apology first. Short, direct, to the point.

Tell her you're sorry, and you would like a second chance.


Already did the apology. She said I did nothing wrong, just nothing seemed right. She said she didn't have the same feelings for me, I am fairly certain why. I know there are feelings there, some of her emails to me were rather full of emotions. I want to fix my wrong.

This is an example of a book that I am talking about.

Check out The Magic of Making Up.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #9  September 11,2009, 6:16am
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vinlukin wrote :
Already did the apology. She said I did nothing wrong, just nothing seemed right. She said she didn't have the same feelings for me, I am fairly certain why. I know there are feelings there, some of her emails to me were rather full of emotions. I want to fix my wrong.
If she said that to you, I'm sorry to say.....

This just may be one of those things you can't fix. It sometimes happens that one feels more strongly drawn to a person than they do back. These matters of the heart can't be forced, no matter how nice one is.

Good luck to you, however it turns out.
 
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vinlukin is offline vinlukin Post #10  September 11,2009, 6:20am
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eerrr, I should have said the same feelings for me that she did in the beginning.
 
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