Guys please help.....I'm SO confused...


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kmc1977 is offline kmc1977 Post #1  September 10,2009, 1:28pm
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Ok....confused isn't the right word...."BAFFLED" is more like it.
Here's the story.... I met a guy about 2 months ago through his work (I am a nurse and I went into a facility that he works at occasionally....his job has him traveling to different nursing homes daily) Anyway, immediately we clicked! We are both very sarcastic and witty, and something told me I just had to go back and see him again. Over the course of the next 4 weeks I went in a couple times each week at different times and on different days. (It wasn't until later that I found out he isn't always at this facility, but was there EVERY time I went) Seemed kinda like fate.... Anyway, one day I went in and got the courage to go sit in his office and chit chat. After I left he opened up to one of the nurses at that facility that he was very interested in getting to know me. So, she called me and got my # and gave it to him, and within 15 minutes he called me and we talked for over 2 hours. It was easy, comfortable, fun, and also serious when it needed to be. He told me that he has liked me from the first minute he saw me, and that he has never had the "butterfly" feeling before with other gf's, but with me he felt "like he could vomit" (yes, we are goofy). He also said: "OK, so are we going to be one of these couples who just knows that this is it and end up engaged in 3 months?" I just laughed and joked about it, but didn't encourage this at all. 4 days later we met at the park for our first official "date" and we ended up sitting there for 8 hours!! It was soooo nice...he wasn't trying to jump down my pants, or get crazy. He played 2 songs for me that he said he had been listening to ever since we talked a few nights before. He did kiss me, and we "played" a little bit...but there was no sex or anything even close to that. The next day he texted me a couple of times, and then a few days later he sent me a txt that said "you disappeared", i asked what he meant and he wrote back " I texted you twice yesterday and you never replied." So, I called him and I told him that I had never rec'd anything from him, and that I would have loved to hang out the night before. He said he didn't call bc after i didn't respond to the first he wasn't sure if he should call. He then proceeded to tell me that he really liked me a lot (well...had a "crush" on me to be exact) and that I make him smile. He asked if he could call me the next day, and he told me that I could call him anytime I wanted. Well, the next day he didn't call, but when I sent him a txt to say hi he wrote back saying he was golfing. We texted briefly a few days later and then several days after that I still hadn't heard anything from him. So, about 5 more days after that and hearing nothing, I sent him a text that said "Have you forgotten about me already?" He immediately wrote back and said "Shut your mouth! How dare you speak such nonsense " (this was said in goofiness...this is how we talk) I felt much better after this response, and that night I called him and left a message on his voicemail. Well, that was about 12 days ago, and I have not heard a word from him. I did send a facebook message to him that said "OK...have I missed something? I'm so confused. You said you wanted me to call anytime, but when I do, you don't answer and you don't return my calls, so I guess I'll just take the hint and leave you alone. I truly do wish you the very best."

I am SOOOOOOOOO confused!! He came on really strong, he told OTHER people how much he liked me, (including his godfather), he told co-workers of mine how much he liked me, and now nothing! NADA! ZIP! I did find out though that he is not going to be working at the facility we met at anymore. I know he had been having some probs with one of the other marketers there, so my gut is telling me that something happened with his job. But still.....a simple text would be nice.

Men.....do guys really say things like this and come on this strong and just drop you for no reason at all? If something happened with his job, would he be so embarrassed or busy that that's all he would be thinking about right now?

I just don't get it. I apologize for the length of this, but any insight would be extremely helpful.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and God bless!
 
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p56360 is offline p56360 Post #2  September 14,2009, 9:21am
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Well it sounds like the relationship might have started out a little fast and perhaps he said some things he meant at the time but was ignoring other truths that made a relationship with you impossible for him. Sometimes you might really enjoy somebody but still have some other area of your life that just won't allow a relationship to continue... I would say this is no fault of yours! As a 33 year old guy I have seen things like this happen before, and it's almost always because someone says or does too much too fast without thinking other areas of their life through! It sounds like you should move on in this instance and just know that someone better is out there - don't waste another minute worrying about someone who doesn't bother to contact you!
 
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whatalife1683 is offline whatalife1683 Post #3  September 14,2009, 10:02am
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You make it seem like he understood you when you 2 talked. If he had problems with his job, then he should very comfortable enough telling you. If I had that problem, I have no problem telling the girl that. It sounds like you would not have had a problem, and would have still talked to him. There are different reasons guys do stuff like this. Some are scare, so they feel things are moving fast. There are some that have issues that arise all of a sudden. Each guy is different, but he would have talked more if interested. I had females do this to me a lot, and it is kinda hurtful I must say. I say move on to a new relationship, and find someone who is willing to talk to you through the good and bad times. You will be fine in the end, so keep your head up and just smile. I know it can be sad, but try not to sweat the small things.
 
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pds857 is offline pds857 Post #4  September 14,2009, 10:07am
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Have Mercy! Its sure been a Long time!

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Well, I'd say that the ball is in his court really.

You've stepped up to the 'plate' so to speak an if he doesnt respond back at all, I dont think it has anything to do with you jus that maybe his life is rocky at the momment?
Be it that he's way busy an got a lot on his mind at the momment or that he's jus realizing that he's not ready or whatever his reasoning is, like you said, a text or call would be nice to have.

Either way, I'd leave it where it is an keep livin my life, if he does get back to you, ok good, if he doesnt, it aint the end of the world, right?

So for now, I'd keep doin my own thing an when or if he does get back to ya decide where to go from there, if you like him enough, go for it, if not or you've met someone else... its really your call.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #5  September 14,2009, 10:12am
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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Taking all of this into serious consideration, I'm thinking it could be ...um ...or, maybe ...uh ...oh, how about ...er ...

Yeah, I got nothin'. Flakey is and flakey does. Sometimes there's no obvious rhyme or reason to it.
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #6  September 14,2009, 10:38am
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Yes, men (and women) do all sorts of things that are wacko. Bottom line--this guy is not calling you or answering your calls. Next.
Last edited by beachgirl5; September 14,2009 at 11:28am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  September 14,2009, 11:53am
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Yes, this sort of thing happens all the time - it's what I personally refer to as a flash fire relationship. It burns bright, hot, and fast and unfortunately burns itself out even faster than it started. The embers are cold before you know it.

When a guy suddenly does not respond, does not pick up the phone, does not call you back in a reasonable time and explain what kept him - it's soooo over. The best thing you can do is just move on and don't even waste your time analyzing what happened. The fact is that it probably has little to do with you and you'll never figure it out anyway so don't give yourself a headache over it.
 
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Dugl is offline Dugl Post #8  September 14,2009, 4:05pm
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is happy.

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I think he may be dating my ex...which explains his seemingly bizarre behavior.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #9  September 14,2009, 4:59pm
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He's missing two important things.
Manners and Guts. Don't waste another minute on him.
 
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Solocat is offline Solocat Post #10  November 13,2009, 4:15am
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is happy.

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I agree with what everyone else said. The fact that he won't share with you what is going on with his situation speaks volumes about his level of maturity and honesty. It is time to move on.
 
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