a_nice_girl is offline a_nice_girl Post #1  September 9,2009, 10:02am
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So, this guy started communication with me on EH the first week of August we got thru all steps just prior to open communication and then I did not hear from him in almost a month so I closed communication. The next day he responded to my closed messaged w/ "if we met I think you might change your mind." What is your opinions .... Give the guy a chance or move on since I did not hear from him in over a month.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  September 9,2009, 10:09am
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What do you have to loose in reopening?
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #3  September 9,2009, 10:15am

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A month is kinda long. I'm not sure I would meet up with this person right now. See if he is willing to have a little OC.
You've shown interest to make it that far, what do you have to lose. If he disappears again.I would close for good.
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; September 9,2009 at 10:19am.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  September 9,2009, 10:19am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I'd reopen.

Something similar just happened to me and I'm thinking about starting a new thread regarding another aspect of this.
 
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pds857 is offline pds857 Post #5  September 9,2009, 10:28am
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I can only tell ya what I'd do.

That would be to give him one chance to explain an what have ya.
If I didnt like what he had to say, I'd close it out, an be done with him.
If he's playin round then I think you'd know an close him anyway.
Thats jus my opinion.

One chance an thats it for me.
That may be a lil harsh for some, but I really despise playin games. (emotionally that is)
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #6  September 9,2009, 10:38am
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I strongly disagree with pds: if you're going to get accusatory right out of the gate, you may as well just leave it closed. Personally I'd say go for it.....you've got nothing to lose by sending a few messages back and forth in open communication.

If you want to know the reason for the delay, I'd slip it in a light-hearted way....something like "Boy, you really like to run things down to the wire, don't ya? "
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #7  September 9,2009, 10:40am
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I doubt he's playing games. He probably has a bunch of matches and is trying to get to them one at a time. When he saw she closed him out, he probably just wanted to make sure she got to know him first.
What is this attitude with people having to give other people "chances" to prove themselves? "Should I give him a chance?" "I'd give him one chance to explain himself". These people are just as valuable as you and I. Remember, he's giving YOU a chance too.
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #8  September 9,2009, 10:42am
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It's possible he was already in OC with another match and was getting ready to meet her. He may not have felt right continuing to talk to you but didn't want to close you out because he's not in a relationship either. You could have put on hold until he knew how this other match worked out. You may not being held in 'reserve' but it happens. Re-open, give him a shot. I got asked to re-open one time and we did end up getting to OC, but she had a habit of disappearing so I closed her out finally.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #9  September 9,2009, 10:49am
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RebornInFire wrote :
It's possible he was already in OC with another match and was getting ready to meet her. He may not have felt right continuing to talk to you but didn't want to close you out because he's not in a relationship either. You could have put on hold until he knew how this other match worked out. You may not being held in 'reserve' but it happens. Re-open, give him a shot. I got asked to re-open one time and we did end up getting to OC, but she had a habit of disappearing so I closed her out finally.
I was hesitant to speculate at first, but I'd have to agree that this is the most likely scenario. Some guys can handle juggling a lot of matches at once, but I know that I'm not one of those guys. When I'm at the stage of talking on the phone with a girl and setting up the first couple of dates, for better or worse I usually stop pursuing my other matches, but I'm not actually in a relationship so I don't see any reason to close out others matches just on the basis of a potential pursuit.
 
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pds857 is offline pds857 Post #10  September 9,2009, 11:11am
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cardguy wrote :
I strongly disagree with pds: if you're going to get accusatory right out of the gate, you may as well just leave it closed. Personally I'd say go for it.....you've got nothing to lose by sending a few messages back and forth in open communication.

If you want to know the reason for the delay, I'd slip it in a light-hearted way....something like "Boy, you really like to run things down to the wire, don't ya? "
[quote=boccabum;734962]I doubt he's playing games. He probably has a bunch of matches and is trying to get to them one at a time. When he saw she closed him out, he probably just wanted to make sure she got to know him first.
What is this attitude with people having to give other people "chances" to prove themselves? "Should I give him a chance?" "I'd give him one chance to explain himself". These people are just as valuable as you and I. Remember, he's giving YOU a chance too.[/quote]

*blows the whistle*

Hold on you guys!
I wasnt sayin he was playin games, I made a general comment about playin games, an that I dont like them. An if this particular fella was then she'd know.
Not that he was an thats why he never got back to her. Two different meanings here fellas. I promise I didnt mean it bad for the fella.

And as far as chances go, your right boccabum, These people are jus as important as you or I. We all get one chance to make it or break it in life, some of us are lucky enough to get two or three or more.

What I said was my opinion on chances after a long string of givin people male or female a ton of chances.

I'm not sayin this guy is dirt or slime or somethin, heck I dont know him, I aint ever talked to him lol how would I know?

Please dont take my comment outta context, it was in general, not some back handed comment bout whomever.

What it feels like is that ya'll are judging me for an opinion that you took the wrong way. I'm on the outside lookin in, who would I be to be some 'man hater' an automatically assume that he's jus messin around.

Hello? I said give him a chance. He might explain on his own bout why he never got back to her before now. It could be somethin simple like he was busy with work or out havin fun since it was the end of summer.
Bottom line, give him a chance, no matter what the reasons.
Last edited by pds857; September 9,2009 at 11:14am. Reason: Adding stuff ..
 
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