Thaliana1981 is offline Thaliana1981 Post #1  September 9,2009, 9:30am
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Wonders if she's revealing too much about herself too quickly...

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So I have my first meeting with a man I met on eh tomorrow. He wants me to pick a place, but I don't know my area well. I'm also feeling rather luke-warm about him after being in OC for a little while, I don't feel I've really learned anything new about him. In fact, I'm kind of apathetic about the whole thing, but I'm never going to meet 'the one' if I balk at meeting anyone.

Obviously, I'm going to take all precautions and meet in a public place, drive myself, etc. But where should I choose to go? How long should I expect the 'date' to last?

While I've been married in the past, I've never really gone on a 'date'. I'm so lost...
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  September 9,2009, 9:37am
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Relax. The purpose of a date is to have fun and get to know someone. Of course you're not going to learn everything from OC. If you did, then you might as well skip the dating step all together and get married.
Dating isn't an interview for finding "the one". If you can't have fun on a date then don't go.
Pick a place where you can talk to each other, is inexpensive, and short. A local coffee shop is perfect. Get yourself a cup of tea and just chat. The date shouldn't be too long. I've found that 1 hour is just fine.
 
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pds857 is offline pds857 Post #3  September 9,2009, 10:53am
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Ahhhh!

I've been doin my dating all wrong then!
(my first meeting/dates have always lasted 2 or 3hrs)

I'd say, RELAX, whats the worst that can happen?
He aint the last fella on earth, an its not gonna be your
last 'first date' unless you guys fall deeply in love an well then
it jus might be you last ... but what are the chances of that happening?
Right?

So, pick some place you can do some talkin, an hangin out.
Public is a must. (saftey first ladies)
Go for icecream or coffee or tea or whatever you wanna do.

If you guys want to spend more time together if you hit it off then
have a back-up plan that does not involve going to the other's place to 'hang out', thats a bad idea. Trust me

Relax be yourself. Talk but listen. An dont jus listen with your ears, but with you intuition as well. Those weird creepy feelins that you might get jus might save ya some time or hurt in the future.

Be open, if you had a good time tell him, he most likely cant read minds either.
If your still not feelin him by the end of the date then when/if he brings up seein eachother again, let him know that you see him as a friend or somethin, dont lead him on into thinkin your just as much into him as he is into you.

An lastly, if everything bombs out an is a wash, dont worry or fret about what you could have done, take it in stride and move on to the next lucky man that gets to meet you an possibly date ya!


Good Luck!
 
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Seneca is offline Seneca Post #4  September 9,2009, 2:22pm
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You've gotten some good advice above, fersure.

Especially, I would say, Loosen Up, for real. You'll feel much better and you will be much more fair with your date.

At the "end" of the date, and no matter whether you want to see the guy again or not - here is a suggestion on how to handle the question of "seeing each other again".

Smile calmly and say simply that you've developed the habit of never agreeing to a second date until you've given yourself a couple days to "digest" the first date. That gets you - and possibly him - off the face-to-face hook, and it's not really "leading someone on" because you can always email or phone someone with a rejection.

If it is someone whom you wish you did not even share the planet with, then, by all means, make it clear then and there that there will be no more dates.

Local opinion(s) may vary.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #5  September 9,2009, 2:31pm
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Your local neighborhood mall is real good usually. Lots of poeple around, coffee or a meal is affordable, most have sitting areas all over to sit and talk, some have movies as well. Definitely one of my favorites for meeting someone you feel unsure about.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  September 9,2009, 2:47pm
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I don’t invite women to pick a place. I always choose, and it is always someplace I know and trust. I nearly always had a first date in a restaurant, expecting to spend 2 to 4 hours.
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  September 9,2009, 2:56pm
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Seneca wrote :
At the "end" of the date, and no matter whether you want to see the guy again or not - here is a suggestion on how to handle the question of "seeing each other again".

Smile calmly and say simply that you've developed the habit of never agreeing to a second date until you've given yourself a couple days to "digest" the first date. That gets you - and possibly him - off the face-to-face hook, and it's not really "leading someone on" because you can always email or phone someone with a rejection.

I want to challenge this one:
[FONT=Arial]
 
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Seneca is offline Seneca Post #8  September 9,2009, 7:13pm
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D_Lion...

You wrote..."think it is the right thing if you’re actually interested in getting that second date. "

If she is interested but he in not - my course of action spares them both some embarrassment.

If they are both (obviously) interested in a 2nd date, I would certainly agree with you that the admission and planning could take place at the end of the first date.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #9  September 9,2009, 11:07pm

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The key is not to step out of character, be yourself so you don't feel like panicking. What do you you like to do? If it were an old friend from school and he asked you to pick out something to do, what would it be?
Maybe Bowling, renting bicycles in a park and going biking, hiking or a nice Tea House instead of a coffee shop. What would make you feel comfortable? About 2 hours is a fair time to see, if it's a match made in heaven or hell. Have fun.

Harvey7.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #10  September 10,2009, 2:31am
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Since your 'date' is tonight, this may be a little late but I'll offer it up anyway.

I would recommend a nice brick oven pizza place if you have one local or a burger joint like Cheeburger Cheeburger or Nifty Fifty's. If you find you'd like to stay awhile, you can get another beer and finish the pizza or take your time with the huge shake at the burger place. Or if you want to make it short and sweet, just have a couple slices and bug out.

And like D_Lion and Seneca said, if you really sense some mutual feelings, have some thoughts in mind for a second date and make plans before you leave.

Let us know how it goes.
 
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