Dating an alcoholic - reference materials?


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EHScreenName is offline EHScreenName Post #1  September 8,2009, 7:04am
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #2  September 8,2009, 7:16am
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Al-Anon is a group for relatives and friends of alcoholics (including recovering alcoholics.) Most of the members are people who have had relationship problems related to alcoholism, but it may give you some insight.
Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen

If you can get a copy of the AA Big Book, there is a chapter called "Chapter to the Wives" which is recommended for the spouse of an alcoholic.
To Wives * - Chapter 8

Is he active in AA? If he is, then ask him about open meetings - you can learn a lot by attending those. Any AA or Al-Anon material, even if it doesn't apply to his current situation, can help you understand where he comes from and some of the issues he has probably dealt with in his past. There are sure to be local AA and Al-Anon groups in your area you can check out.

Hope this helps.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #3  September 8,2009, 7:38am
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Four years sounds like he's plenty recovered. He can pretty much say he used to drink a lot, back in the day.

For me, this revelation would be a huge plus. He realized he had a problem. He fixed it.

Not many people can do that. About the only thing that can cure most smokers, alcoholics, and other addicts, is six feet of dirt.

Personally, I wouldn't read up too much on it, because most of the books will either be redundant to the guy (he's been there, done that), or they'll offer bad advice. Remember, self-help authors write what sells, not what helps.

And drama sells, see.

Use your head. There's the best expert you'll find, and not many people listen to it.


- Saul
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #4  September 8,2009, 7:48am
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Is he active in AA? You should ask him about it, especially if he goes to any open meetings then you could attend with him. That will do two things for you:
1. Let him know that you're interested and want to support his recovery
2. Put you in contact with resources to help you understand where he's coming from.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #5  September 8,2009, 7:51am
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Last edited by kevin76; September 8,2009 at 1:16pm. Reason: duplicate
 
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