Can_u_hear_me_now is offline Can_u_hear_me_now Post #1  September 7,2009, 5:27pm
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I'm just coming through a weird situation, and was hoping for some advice. A recent match from EH and I finally got together this weekend after two weeks of intense communication (ie: multiple texts every day plus daily phone calls avg. 3 hrs.+). We live in neighboring states, so regular contact isn't an option. We both were blown away at how much we "get" each other in every way, and talked in general terms about relocation, and what a future together might look like. -insert "way too fast" disclaimer here-

Anyhow, we got together and spent nearly 9 hours together, and the biggest shock of all, no sparks (at least not as many on her side). She decides that for whatever reason, it's not working for her, and wants to end it. I was of course a little taken aback, and asked the usual questions about maybe taking a little more time, but she was firm. She did say that I could call her the next day, and I said I'd like to.

That was the last I heard from her. No answer on the phone, no response via email, text, etc... So, finally to the question, am I a stalker for wanting to send one last email requesting at least a response if not a consideration of a friendship that we both valued only a few days ago? I'm honestly not holding out hope that she'll change her mind, but I've never actually had a bad break-up where one of us has totally closed out the other person completely; and this wasn't a bad break-up by any means. I guess I'm more confused than anything, advice is appreciated.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #2  September 7,2009, 5:32pm
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Please respect her wishes. She made her decision and to quote you she was "firm". No waffling or indecision. Any communication from you will just make her more sure she made the right decision (and it is her decision.) She gave you nine hours.

This just reinforces the concept that nothing is for sure (no matter how great phone calls, texts, emails etc.) are until you meet which is mentioned quite a bit on the boards.

I am very sorry, but it is time to move on.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  September 7,2009, 5:33pm
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If she doesn't want to hear from you, any communication will be at best unwanted, and possibly frightening to her; I would not take that risk.

If she made a clear statement, I think you should not contact her at all.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #4  September 7,2009, 5:35pm
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For whatever reason, it wasn't there for her. Sometimes this happens when you actually meet someone face-to-face who you've been speaking with/emailing/talking with online.

Your best bet is to let it go. She was honest about how she felt, and she chose not to answer the call from you. Sending an email won't make you a stalker, but it certainly won't endear you to her, either. If she wanted a friendship, she would have indicated that, but she did not.

I'm sorry this didn't work out for you, but instead of dwelling on this, get yourself back out there and meet someone else! It's all a part of this crazy online dating thing.

Good luck to you!
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  September 7,2009, 5:36pm
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youre not a stalker for one email, but if she knows right then when you first meet then she knows. i dont know how adamantly she informed you that there was no chemistry, but i would believe it.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #6  September 7,2009, 5:37pm
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D_Lion wrote :
If she doesn't want to hear from you, any communication will be at best unwanted, and possibly frightening to her; I would not take that risk.

If she made a clear statement, I think you should not contact her at all.
Glad that the frog and I agree! Actually thought this was a DLion thread about his jam obsession!
 
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Can_u_hear_me_now is offline Can_u_hear_me_now Post #7  September 7,2009, 5:43pm
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Thanks for the responses. I guess I knew the answer, but my mind is still a little mushy right about now.

Nanette, she wasn't super firm as in mean at all, she was really very sweet actually, but did make it clear that more time would just make it harder to end later on. I agreed.

O.k., operation movin' on in effect, thanks!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  September 7,2009, 5:45pm
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yoga_gal wrote :
Glad that the frog and I agree! Actually thought this was a DLion thread about his jam obsession!

It doesn't count as stalking if I'm in Love!
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #9  September 7,2009, 5:45pm
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Can_u_hear_me_now wrote :
Thanks for the responses. I guess I knew the answer, but my mind is still a little mushy right about now.

Nanette, she wasn't super firm as in mean at all, she was really very sweet actually, but did make it clear that more time would just make it harder to end later on. I agreed.

O.k., operation movin' on in effect, thanks!




Good Luck!
 
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beentherehavetee is offline beentherehavetee Post #10  September 7,2009, 5:56pm
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Can_u_hear_me_now wrote :
Thanks for the responses. I guess I knew the answer, but my mind is still a little mushy right about now.

Nanette, she wasn't super firm as in mean at all, she was really very sweet actually, but did make it clear that more time would just make it harder to end later on. I agreed.

O.k., operation movin' on in effect, thanks!

I was about to say what they all said. I have learned that it's a bad idea for too prolonged emailings and texts and making future plans before actually meeting. Lesson learned. I'm glad you're moving on. Keep it movin' and good luck in the future.
 
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