Getting hit on from ladies in a support group, whats this all about ???


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #1  September 6,2009, 5:45pm
Laughingdaily's Avatar

Ride along, and Remember to laugh every single day!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 626

See profile

I am a member of a few support groups and the focus of these groups is to help others who are new to this particular type of event. This is very serious and much needed work and it is really bothering me as there have been several times now when women in these groups have made some very open statements to me either during a break, or catching me leaving after the meeting is over.

What makes anyone of either gender think about anything like this when involved in a group like this?? Regarless of whether they are a facilitator or a participant!! Please give me some tools to help with this situation in a polite and professional manner. This type of non sense can really hurt any group.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 6,2009, 5:48pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

You realize we will all make fun of you for not wanting Ladies to hit on you?!

By the way, where do we find this group?
 
  Reply With Quote
Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #3  September 6,2009, 5:51pm
Laughingdaily's Avatar

Ride along, and Remember to laugh every single day!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 626

See profile

With all due respect and I will even skip the disclaimer.

YOU DO NOT REALLY WANT TO BE A MEMBER OF THESE GROUPS
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  September 6,2009, 5:57pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

Be that as it may, if you are a single man, and single women wish to flirt with you or ask you out, I think they should do so. It is great that you make women comfortable, and these women are assertive. Either of these is not that easy to find.
[FONT=Arial]
 
  Reply With Quote
MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #5  September 6,2009, 6:03pm
MCMLXXII's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2009

...in the Bible-belt.

Posts: 252

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
By the way, where do we find this group?
D_L: Please see his other posts.

Laughing: The burdeon is on you to gauge the group culture and respond with the appropriate tone. I've read your previous posts so I'm aware of your situation. Personally, I would be firm and quick. Dragging out your response makes it appear that you needed to "think" about their advances.

On the other hand, wouldn't a woman from this type of dynamic be the ideal partner for you? You've both been met with tragic circumstances and share similiar experiences. Just a thought...
 
  Reply With Quote
BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #6  September 6,2009, 6:05pm
BikerBeagle's Avatar

thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

Kansas

Posts: 2,548

See profile

Just tell them you aren't interested in dating members of the support group because of the drama it can cause, over-shadowing the real purpose of the group.

It's not at all surprising to me that this is happening to you ...bettering yourself through a support group and having that in common is an attractive trait to women (and men). More so, in fact, that there are players who will frequent these groups just to hook up - or so I've heard.

Al-Anon is extremely popular for this purpose ...again, so I've heard.
 
  Reply With Quote
Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #7  September 6,2009, 6:14pm
Laughingdaily's Avatar

Ride along, and Remember to laugh every single day!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 626

See profile

MCMLXXII wrote :
D_L: Please see his other posts.

Laughing: The burdeon is on you to gauge the group culture and respond with the appropriate tone. I've read your previous posts so I'm aware of your situation. Personally, I would be firm and quick. Dragging out your response makes it appear that you needed to "think" about their advances.

On the other hand, wouldn't a woman from this type of dynamic be the ideal partner for you? You've both been met with tragic circumstances and share similiar experiences. Just a thought...

This type of situation is not one for me to be flirting, eyeing, posing, and any other form or action anyone may want to call anything that may be seen as wanting to advance with anyone there.

My duties are wide ranging and deal with all manner of personalities as well. When confronted the last 3 times I very politely and directly explained to these women that this was totally inapprpriate behavior on their part, and if they do not respect the needs of that group, then they no longer are welcome to attend. Period.

As for my personal feelings regarding dating anyone who has had a similar loss, that is great if that happens, but it will not be anyone from any group I am in any way responsible for helping with this type of event.

I really do appreciate your thoughts and ideas.
 
  Reply With Quote
Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #8  September 6,2009, 6:17pm
Laughingdaily's Avatar

Ride along, and Remember to laugh every single day!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 626

See profile

BikerBeagle wrote :
Just tell them you aren't interested in dating members of the support group because of the drama it can cause, over-shadowing the real purpose of the group.

It's not at all surprising to me that this is happening to you ...bettering yourself through a support group and having that in common is an attractive trait to women (and men). More so, in fact, that there are players who will frequent these groups just to hook up - or so I've heard.

Al-Anon is extremely popular for this purpose ...again, so I've heard.

Thank you for your thoughts, but this has absolutely nothing to do with alcohol or drug use or anything like that. This is not a happy social gathering type of support group,
 
  Reply With Quote
neardc is offline neardc Post #9  September 6,2009, 6:33pm
neardc's Avatar

Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,050

See profile

Just respond in a matter-of-fact way that your policy is that you do not date anyone who is part of the group. You don't need to say anything more than that.

For some of the women, the common (albeit horrific) experience that you share means that they see you as someone who understands what it's like to go through and survive that kind of darkness in a way that most "other" men cannot. So, that may add to your attractiveness. But, a fact of life for all single women in your age group is that the pool of eligible single men is limited and dwindling. So, it's not surprising that you would find women checking you out -- despite the nature of the setting. Certainly the need for love and human companionship doesn't diminish after experiencing this kind of event, and may even become more acute for some...
 
  Reply With Quote
MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #10  September 6,2009, 6:36pm
MCMLXXII's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2009

...in the Bible-belt.

Posts: 252

See profile

Laughingdaily wrote :
This type of situation is not one for me to be flirting, eyeing, posing, and any other form or action anyone may want to call anything that may be seen as wanting to advance with anyone there.

My duties are wide ranging and deal with all manner of personalities as well. When confronted the last 3 times I very politely and directly explained to these women that this was totally inapprpriate behavior on their part, and if they do not respect the needs of that group, then they no longer are welcome to attend. Period.

As for my personal feelings regarding dating anyone who has had a similar loss, that is great if that happens, but it will not be anyone from any group I am in any way responsible for helping with this type of event.

I really do appreciate your thoughts and ideas.
^^ Understood. However, what a dilemma? Folks are a member of this group due to a horrifying circumstance and should be there to exchange information, etc. However, I'm sure you don't want to expel anyone from the group for inappropriate behavior because doing so means they'll miss out on tools needed to help them deal with their situation.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Second Date | Dating | Who keeps moving my threads »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Welcome Group Owners! eHA_Admin_Lori Groupies: A Group For Group Board Owners & Admins 9 December 1,2010 12:24pm
Ok ladies, give me your HONEST opinion FirefighterTimWilver Using eHarmony 30 January 29,2010 8:37pm
OCD Support Group ....OCD Anonymous CreolePrincess AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 40 September 8,2009 2:51pm
The direction of the group outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 0 June 24,2009 11:43am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I do still eat and drink the things I shouldn't sometimes. I'd stop if I needed an Epi-Pen but none of my allergies are severe enough for that yet. I feel for you, Legend.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“No, this is the ONE, with the Domestic Man among men that I hunger for... New Twist Like the great philosopher Dr. Phil says, "When momma's happy, everyone's happy".” –  tweet37

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I think you are projecting that if you are the one paying for the first few dates that the woman is a "pay to play" woman and if you were to marry her she would be so irresponsible that you'd be ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“That's disappointing. You've gotten a lot of tips about changing your settings and I hope it pays off when you do.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“ Happy Faraday, Birth... um I mean... Happy Birthday, Fara. I blame harnomygirl... typing her name messes with your mind.” –  dmi

Join the “The End Maybe Coming” discussion

“I thought she took the safer route and met him here first. Now that she knows he's fun, they'll throw caution to the wind, but gently.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“ I wouldn't be so sure he was ready (the way you mean it) with this new girl. He was calling you testing the waters while seeing her, right? This may just be how he is in relationships- this may ... ” –  FairOne

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:11am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0