For Smart Women ONLY !!!


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Seneca is offline Seneca Post #1  September 6,2009, 6:58am
Seneca's Avatar

a Dios

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 230

See profile

Having gotten tar-and-feathered on the “background check” thread I thought I would begin this one to try to allow women a different view of the “distrust” issue.
It is considered fashionable and smart (even funny) in our Society for women to treat all men with the Presumption of Guilt... while pretending that all women deserve the Presumption of Innocence. To illustrate how wrong and damaging that actually is, this thread is a scenario that puts the shoe on the other foot for examination.

This thread is ONLY for women who are honest, fair-minded enough and smart enough to realize that there could be something in their behavior they could fix that would help them make the sincere “connection” they supposedly come here for. It is not a thread for the Joan Rivers types, the Roseanne types, the tender-hearts, the chronic arguers, deep-in-denial types or misandrists (man-haters). It is only for women smart enough and strong enough to actually try to feel what their impact is on others.

It’s likely such fair-minded, thinking women will be able to answer most (but not all) the questions “no”. But how you answer the questions isn’t the point. The point is having you realize you are being asked because complete strangers (that you have expressed interest in) are presuming you possibly/probably Guilty of these things. In this scenario, Every stranger is going to ask you these questions before deciding to ask you out. If you skip a question or object to one – you are immediately rejected. Every time for the rest of your life.

I chose questions that are relevant because, in spite of Society’s pretense about women, American women are guilty of these things - and often. They are not “one-in-a-million” things.

Again – this thread is ONLY for women who are honest, fair, intelligent and brave enough to look in the mirror in order to see if there is something they can improve on. All the other women should stop here and go read the threads about attaching radio-tracking collars to new boyfriends.
************************************************** **********
NOTE: Answer these questions to yourself only!
Do NOT write out or share your answers here.
Your answers are nobody's business and they are not the point. The point is for you to truly feel what it's like to always be presumed guilty.

Here are the questions you have to face – from every cool potential date.

The oldest profession – have you ever traded sex for money, drugs, “other”?

Temper – Have you ever yelled at, shoved, or hit your husband, boyfriend, children, or someone else’s child. (Men get jailed for this stuff)

“Other woman”– The famous cheating husband cheats with somebody! Have you ever slept with or flirted with another woman’s husband or boyfriend, or tried to get a married/committed man to notice/flirt with you?

Fidelity - Have you ever cheated on your husband or boyfriend? Have you ever lied to or deceived your husband or boyfriend? Have you ever mocked or insulted or humiliated your husband or boyfriend in Public?
Last edited by Seneca; September 6,2009 at 8:38am.
 
  Reply With Quote
Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #2  September 6,2009, 7:20am
Laughingdaily's Avatar

Ride along, and Remember to laugh every single day!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 626

See profile

This should be entertaining, so I will have to monitor this thread!!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  September 6,2009, 7:22am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,743

See profile

Laughingdaily wrote :
This should be entertaining, so I will have to monitor this thread!!!!

Darn! You beat me to it.
 
  Reply With Quote
Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #4  September 6,2009, 7:28am
Laughingdaily's Avatar

Ride along, and Remember to laugh every single day!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 626

See profile

You want me to answer these from my experience with a few fine women??
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  September 6,2009, 7:34am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

Seneca wrote :

...

 Personally, the “background check” thread has pretty much convinced me that the online-dating community is so deep in paranoia that it is may actually be the worst method to try to make a healthy and lasting connection with anyone.
I mean: "...rent a car to go to a meet'n greet so they can't copy your tags". C'Mon !!! Holy TinFoil suits!
>>
As always, local opinion(s) may vary. >>
Oh, wow, I missed that one. I am not sure if that is just too funny or really scary.
 
  Reply With Quote
Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #6  September 6,2009, 7:41am
Work_in_Progr…'s Avatar

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ~ Dalai Lama

Pacesetter

Joined: Feb 2008

Posts: 309

See profile

Hi Seneca,

I haven't even looked at the background check thread, but I'm not sure what it is you're looking for here by way of response.. Are you saying only women who will answer each question are "allowed" to respond, or are you just looking for honest feedback regarding how we would feel if this "shoe were on the other foot" or... ?

I will say, if I'm reading correctly that even those who try to answer honestly - the questions and/or the premise or the post - but who try to point out any flaws in the premise will be ignored, then aren't you kind of doing what you're accusing women of doing - making gross generalizations and assumptions?

I would love to answer this post honestly - in fact, believe it or not, I was just thinking about this issue the other day (yes, from the standpoint of how men must feel about it), and I do think it could be a great, eye-opening topic if honest give and take, and willingness on both sides to really listen to the other can occur, but I won't write more until you clarify what I'm "allowed" in my response.

Thanks!
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  September 6,2009, 7:48am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

You need to get your dates talking and respond to them in a nonjudgemental way. Sometimes they'll surprise you with what they'll be willing to tell you. I had one who told me about how a married man had pursued her for a year....until finally she gave in and slept with him. She added that 'He wasn't even a good lover either'. How charming, lol.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  September 6,2009, 7:56am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,743

See profile

Let’s think about the question this way:
[FONT=Arial]
 
  Reply With Quote
simplemind is offline simplemind Post #9  September 6,2009, 8:02am
simplemind's Avatar

comes to her favorite season--cool weather and beautiful colors.

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

St. Louis

Posts: 1,340

See profile

Seneca, makes me sad that you felt the need to generalize all women like that--but I figure you or people you know, have been on the receiving end of this kind of stuff often enough that it must feel like every woman comes to you with these things in her heart.

Damned before you even do.

So I answered each question, honestly. Was easy for nearly all of them, because I've done that inventory and then some. More'n a few times. The answers weren't so easy, and they never are. But naming what we've done is a good start.

The answers to some are deeply personal, and not publishable to a group of strangers. There are people here I think are coming to be friends; but to any gawker or lurker, including my patients here, they are NYB.

I had three positive responses. Then, when I went back and answered for the things I knew about my ex, there were five. So we're not too far apart. He wasn't a bad person, we just weren't good for each other.

And btw, some of the things above aren't dealbreakers for me--unless in the context of other things that are harmful. My close friends tell me my biggest fault is in trusting too much at first--even though it may be my Achilles' heel, I believe it is my greatest strength. Without hope for my fellow humans, why go on living?

But I will ask that the smart men of this group, for most of whom I have formed a great deal of respect, ask yourselves these same direct questions. Openly and honestly, please. What's good for the goose....?

I think the main thing that comes down to it for me, is that there are men who have been made to feel this way by some women. And that makes me grieve for the men who've been harmed this way--and the women who couldn't let go of the hate and fear.
Last edited by simplemind; September 6,2009 at 8:08am. Reason: Haven't visited the background check thread. Seems it might spoil my day if I did.?
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  September 6,2009, 8:09am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

My only 'yes' responses to those questions were that years ago I cheated on a girlfriend and that I've accepted money from a woman for sex. No wait...that last was only a dream. ; )
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Who? | Dating | Monday, May 17th Weekend and Date Roundup! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Do guys prefer open & agressive characteristics in women? Pris Ask a Dating Expert 41 September 15,2011 2:22pm
Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man eharmonyadvice Ask a Dating Expert 630 August 16,2011 10:01pm
A Mars Venus Guide: Dating Do's and Don'ts for Men outlaw1 Dating 62 December 27,2010 9:04pm
Is There Something Dating Articles Aren't Telling Women? outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 22 August 12,2009 9:04am
Having Friends DennisWisconsin A Man's Point of view 3 May 24,2009 8:54am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:05am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0