What in the world is he doing?!


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onesoggywaffle is offline onesoggywaffle Post #1  September 4,2009, 4:30pm
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I met this great guy on EH and we have been emailing each other every day for about 3 weeks. We met last Saturday and the date went well. At the end he said he had a good time and I said that I did, too, and that I hoped he'd continue to email me. He then said he'd like to do something again and when I said that I would too he said "I hope you're not just saying that and that later I'll get an email saying you're not interested." Later on in the night we casually talked about getting together this weekend. He texted me that night when I got home and said he had a great time. He called me the next day to talk to me on the phone (our first phone conversation). However, this week our emails have been a lot shorter and he never mentioned us going out this weekend. He said he's been really busy this week (I believe he has been...he works a very demanding, serious job in the banking industry). We talked on the telephone yesterday for a little while, but he still never mentioned us going out again. My friends say he's obviously just busy, but I feel differently. I feel like maybe he's not interested (like I thought and like he implied).

Do you think I should give up, or wait to see if he emails me this weekend? I haven't heard from him today and I'm gettting a little worried. I am interested in this guy and would like to go on a second date.

Your thoughts? Thank you!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 4,2009, 4:39pm
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Personally I set up a second meeting prior to concluding the first.

However, I also like to see the woman show some initiative and participate in the planning. So, if she has not done so during the first meeting, I do tend to lose interest. I have waited to give her a chance to make the second meeting.

Usually I will be clear about it, though.

[COLOR=black]In my opinion, you should ask him specifically for a second meeting, with a precise date and time.
 
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onesoggywaffle is offline onesoggywaffle Post #3  September 4,2009, 4:41pm
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Thanks, people have told me I should do that, too. I guess I haven't because I'm afraid of looking too eager, thinking that would somehow turn him off if he is, in fact, uninterested in me. I'd be a little more aggressive if I had any idea if he was interested.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #4  September 4,2009, 4:43pm
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I agree with D_Lion, His comment about whether you really meant it about getting together would lead me to believe he wants to know that you are really interested. Try giving him a call (not an email) and say something like "I know you had a busy week so how about...." and insert whatever you think he would enjoy. And be specific about time and place. If the time doesn't work suggest another.

Best of lucK.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  September 4,2009, 4:44pm
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If hes busy just let him be busy and call you when he isn't. If he is interested, he will call you.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #6  September 4,2009, 4:52pm
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onesoggywaffle wrote :
Thanks, people have told me I should do that, too. I guess I haven't because I'm afraid of looking too eager, thinking that would somehow turn him off if he is, in fact, uninterested in me. I'd be a little more aggressive if I had any idea if he was interested.

Either way. If he's seriously interested, he'll make sure it happens, and calling him won't scare him off either. If he's seriously not interested, then it won't happen whether you call or not. If he's wavering for whatever reason, or waiting for you to show a sure sign of interest, then calling him may be just what it takes to get it going again.
You never know until you try.
That's half the fun of this whole dating experience, isn't it?
 
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onesoggywaffle is offline onesoggywaffle Post #7  September 4,2009, 4:52pm
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Thanks for the advice! While he has been busy this week, he's continued to email me. He's said that even though he couldn't write really long ones, he didn't want me to check my email and not get anything from him. I'm really confused as to why I haven't heard from him today, though. I may text him or something...I just don't want to look like a fool if he's not interested.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #8  September 4,2009, 4:54pm
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onesoggywaffle wrote :
Thanks, people have told me I should do that, too. I guess I haven't because I'm afraid of looking too eager, thinking that would somehow turn him off if he is, in fact, uninterested in me.


Huh?
How could it "turn him off", if you suspect he is uninterested in you??
Nothing from nothing is nothing...
If it's bothering you: call him and remind him.

wrote :
I'd be a little more aggressive if I had any idea if he was interested.
And if you're not a little more aggressive...you may never find out.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  September 4,2009, 4:57pm
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i dont think its a matter of looking like a fool but a "wacko" (i know this is a horrible word in this context and i am not at all trying to suggest you are that, but i'm using it for emphasis) by emailing/texting when he says he is busy. its like you are waiting for his email. you are reacting now because you didnt get one and now you want to make sure everything is okay. step back like its not you in the sitch and look at it that way.
 
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onesoggywaffle is offline onesoggywaffle Post #10  September 4,2009, 5:03pm
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Yeah, and that's definitely the LAST thing I want (to come across as a "whacko"). It's just confusing when your form of/intensity of communication rapidly changes. Oh well, I guess that's my sign.
 
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