Isn't "income" just a perference, too?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  September 4,2009, 9:27am
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So, I was thinking about the money thread last night and suddenly I wondered:

How is income level any different from preferences such as level of physical fitness, hair color, etc. etc.?

Why are women (or men!) who seek a partner with stable and financially rewarding work so consistently cast in a negative light?

~~~

I'm taking a break from dating but as someone who has been the primary breadwinner in my relationships, I can tell you that when I DO re-enter the dating pool, meeting someone with ambitions and a solid professional and financial future is going to be important to me. Not because I expect him to take care of ME -- but he'd better be able to take care of himself. I can take care of myself and I expect that from my partner. If that makes me a gold digger, well....I think that's a really unfair characterization.

What say you?
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #2  September 4,2009, 9:51am
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i don't know why. i mean, seems to me that's what men offer when it comes to relationships - money. that guy, steve harvey, in his interview here talks about what men do: "profess, provide, protect." that mostly comes down to money unless he's a survivalist type.
 
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singleman4803 is offline singleman4803 Post #3  September 4,2009, 10:43am
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It depends on the relationship you want. If you're looking for a brown-haired woman, then so be it. If you are looking for someone who makes money, for whatever reason, so be it.

I personally find it shallow but I don't define what relationships should be for all people.

If I had my choice between a woman who was cultured, educated and maybe made $25K/year as a professor and a woman who made $100K but was dull as dull, then the money would be worthless to me.

And I'd hope anyone I met felt the same.
 
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CJF is offline CJF Post #4  September 4,2009, 11:44am
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I don't have an income bracket preference but I do hope that any potential partner could take care of himself financially, handles his money wisely and isn't heavily in debt.

I worked very hard to establish my credit and finances after a divorce and the thought of taking on someone elses debt through marriage would stress me out big time.
 
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Confession is offline Confession Post #5  September 4,2009, 11:45am
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I admire women who know what they want. There is NOTHING wrong with a woman who wants a man to have the security that comes with a certain level of income.

However, be careful. I know many men who spend a much as they earn and are actually much worse off financially than some men who make half as much. The world is full of $40,000 millionaires

One thing I have learned is that men with social skills (i.e. good with women) will beat the man with money almost every time.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #6  September 4,2009, 11:52am
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Money's a preference, sure, and it's a valid preference.

I'd re-characterize it as this, though: Financially stable.

See, I'd date a woman doctor same as I'd date a woman who taught up at my son's daycare, so long as she's FINANCIALLY STABLE.

The job-hoppers, the unstable, unpredictable types, the ones who quit or get fired every few weeks, they're the ones who are the turn-offs.

Most women, and most people, can modify their lifestyle to fit their income, but they all require a stable, predictable, repeatable income in order to plan and budget properly.

Confession makes the valid point that earning $120,000/yr doesn't mean you're better off than earning $40,000/yr. The US is full of $100k+ people who have lost their houses because of debt and over-spending.

Stability.

That's what women want, and they're right to insist on it.


- Saul
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #7  September 4,2009, 11:54am
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PS, that said, I once modified my height to be 6', and my income to be $150k+, and I got a lot more hits than I did otherwise.

I didn't answer any of them, just wanted to see what they looked like.

They were hot.

- Saul
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  September 4,2009, 12:23pm
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Pretty much answered your own question, eh?
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #9  September 4,2009, 4:24pm
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PPS, I've had plenty of women say they want a man who can earn money.

I answer, "I want a woman who wears thongs."

We all have our preferences.


- Saul
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #10  September 4,2009, 4:29pm
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How can you tell an income level on eH? Am I missing something?
 
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