fall in love, kiss, have sex?


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yueyuan is offline yueyuan Post #1  September 2,2009, 10:53pm
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I am a conservative woman. I like things happen natural. I think fall in love with each other should come before kiss and sex. I was told by some guys this is not going to work. I would like to hear your thoughts …Thanks.
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  September 3,2009, 2:47am
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It's not going to work.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  September 3,2009, 2:52am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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By any chance....did I tell you that recently? : 0
 
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winn is offline winn Post #4  September 3,2009, 3:01am

Please tell me where I can find a normal man???

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Oh, are you guys a big help!!
Personally, yueyuan, I have to agree with you as far as the sex goes. I'd rather have love in the picture before I hop into bed with someone....but, kissing, on the other hand.......can come way before that.
I hope that answers your question better than Jayjay or Tweet37 did.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  September 3,2009, 3:10am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I wasn't trying to avoid answering the question....I just had a similar conversation with a Chinese woman with a similar name very recently.

My response to the question is I think it's reasonable (though not necessary) to wait for sex until around the same time that you feel you are 'in love'. However, there won't be too many men who are going to wait until being in love before kissing.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #6  September 3,2009, 5:11am
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yueyuan wrote :
I am a conservative woman. I like things happen natural. I think fall in love with each other should come before kiss and sex. I was told by some guys this is not going to work. I would like to hear your thoughts …Thanks.
.
It is hard to be conservative in this culture, do you live in the US? If you do, then it will be very hard to find a man who shares your values.

Very hard, but it can happen. And if you do find a man who values you more than he values a quick thrill, then your patience and virtue will have great reward.

Or you may never find someone like that. It depends very much on your situation. How old are you? How many single men are their in your area, and what kind of men are they? Are you active in social groups where you may meet someone and get to know them without going on 'dates' with just the two of you?

There are so many factors, I don't think anyone can really say "that will work" or "that won't work." You just have to be true to yourself, and see where it takes you.
Good luck.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  September 3,2009, 5:13am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Contrary to many here I am not going to bring sex into the the picture until the relationship has become exclusive (by agreement of both people).

If you define "love" as being committed and exclusive then sex comes after love. Kissing is likely to come well before becoming exclusive.

But that is just my opinion and as always my standard disclaimer that I don't know anything about anything.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  September 3,2009, 5:15am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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kevin76 wrote :
It is hard to be conservative in this culture, do you live in the US? If you do, then it will be very hard to find a man who shares your values.

Very hard, but it can happen. And if you do find a man who values you more than he values a quick thrill, then your patience and virtue will have great reward.

Or you may never find someone like that. It depends very much on your situation. How old are you? How many single men are their in your area, and what kind of men are they? Are you active in social groups where you may meet someone and get to know them without going on 'dates' with just the two of you?

There are so many factors, I don't think anyone can really say "that will work" or "that won't work." You just have to be true to yourself, and see where it takes you.
Good luck.
And if they don't share her values, no matter where she lives, then they are not right for her.

NEVER COMPROMISE YOUR VALUES!!!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  September 3,2009, 6:34am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
If you define "love" as being committed and exclusive then sex comes after love. Kissing is likely to come well before becoming exclusive.
I think for many people love would come at some point after become exclusive. To expect to wait for kissing until 'love' would be pretty tough in the U.S.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #10  September 3,2009, 7:23am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
And if they don't share her values, no matter where she lives, then they are not right for her.

NEVER COMPROMISE YOUR VALUES!!!
I wonder if you mean, never compromise your values?
 
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