What do women really want out of men?


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singleman4803 is offline singleman4803 Post #1  September 2,2009, 7:26pm
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I can say with a bit of certainty that men want to be in relationships with women mostly for sex. I don't get the impression that that is what drives women.

What is it that women see when they think "I want a man"? Beyond all the crazy "butterflys" etc.

Do you see a guy as company? As someone protecting you? Buying things for you? Being someone that will take you out?

I'm just curious. I know if it weren't for sex, I'd have no drive to date women at all. So what drives women?
 
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hummersandharleys is offline hummersandharleys Post #2  September 2,2009, 7:35pm
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Gosh buddy the sex isn't what it is important, it's the chocolate chip cookies she will bake you...
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #3  September 2,2009, 7:36pm
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It's not on youtube, or I'd post you a link.

If you have any way of getting a recording of Emmylou Harris on the "Duet" album, singing "Gulf Coast Highway" with Willy Nelson....

It is that for which this woman holds the door open.

(she does a version with Dave Matthews, but Nelson's voice just does it justice).
 
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singleman4803 is offline singleman4803 Post #4  September 2,2009, 7:48pm
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simplemind,

Are you saying women just think of romantic ideals ONLY??

See, I call rubbish to the idea that people get together just for "feelings". As a guy I can say I have strong feelings for a woman, but if I'm honest with myself I realize most of that is sexual attraction only. And the need for physical contact.

So I'm looking for women to be HONEST and not hash romantic ideals. What REALLY is it about men that you expect to gain in a relationship??

Be honest and not "I long for him to blah blah". You're just masking what you really want.

What are you looking to get out of a relationship. Leave out the romantic nonsense.
 
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brownize916 is offline brownize916 Post #5  September 2,2009, 8:05pm
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This is going to depend on the relationship. Among other things I am looking for companionship, friendship, intimacy and sex.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  September 2,2009, 8:22pm
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Hmm...well women are not as different from men as you think...so sex is equally important and beyond that security and easy going companionship (emphasis on easy going)....at least for me....lol....
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #7  September 2,2009, 8:25pm
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singleman4803 wrote :
I can say with a bit of certainty that men want to be in relationships with women mostly for sex. I don't get the impression that that is what drives women.

What is it that women see when they think "I want a man"? Beyond all the crazy "butterflys" etc.

Do you see a guy as company? As someone protecting you? Buying things for you? Being someone that will take you out?

I'm just curious. I know if it weren't for sex, I'd have no drive to date women at all. So what drives women?
Ummmm... How old are you?
I'm having a hard time believing this is a serious question.
 
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DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #8  September 2,2009, 8:41pm
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First of all, props to simplemind for loving Emmylou Harris! :-)

Second, singleman I applaud you for your complete honesty!

Honestly, here is what I am looking for and why I am on eHarm:

I am 49 years old. I have been divorced for 5 years. I have been blessed with the opportunity to go back to graduate school and do what I've always wanted to do: become an anthrolpologist and hopefully I will get to teach/research/write at a major university.

OK. So I see my kids about once a week. I interact with lots of students and people at the univ. both in classes and at work (I work in the writing center). I have coffee with my girlfriends often.

But... they are almost all married and so I have the proverbial "5th wheel" problem. My kids are in their 20s and obviously don't want to go out with their mom all the time. My friends go out with their husbands and with other couples.

Don't get me wrong, I do lots of stuff by myself. I will go eat dinner by myself, go to a movie, the art museum, etc. I have a happy life and am grateful for it all.

But I am, at times, lonely, in spite of all the social contact I have. So what I am looking for in a relationship is first of all companionship. Basically, I want someone to hang out with. Someone that likes to do the kinds of things I like to do. My ex husband and I always planned to buy and RV and travel around the country, and I'd still like to do that with someone. I'd like to come home from work and cook dinner with someone, instead of throwing something in the microwave. When I'm driving home from a night at the Seattle Symphony, I'd like to be able to discuss how thrilling the music was with someone.

I want someone to discuss politics, religion, news of the day, philosophy, etc. with. I want a team mate, a partner in every sense of the word.

I want a man who will do volunteer stuff with me, like building homes for Habitat for Humanity, or going to Honduras to bring a fresh water system into a town that doesn't have one (a mission trip I just went on with my church).

Although I am not wealthy, I am financially independent, so I do not need a man for financial stability. And, to use your phrase, I don't want a man to "take me out", I want us to go out together.

There are things I don't even tell my best girlfriend. Those are the things I would like to tell my husband. I want a best friend.

To be honest, sex is further down the list for me than the whole companionship, friendship, partnership thing. Don't get me wrong, I like sex, I enjoy it. But I would never marry someone who couldn't be a true partner with me, even if the sex was phenominal. On the other hand, I could see myself marrying my best friend even though the sex was merely decent, because I could see us sharing a home and living together and growing old together and the sex part of it just isn't the be all end all for me. FOR ME.

Other women may (and probably will) disagree completely.

There. That's my honest answer.
 
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singleman4803 is offline singleman4803 Post #9  September 2,2009, 8:46pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Ummmm... How old are you?
I'm having a hard time believing this is a serious question.
Why would my age have anything to do with this?

I know what women SAY they want, i.e. the butterfly's in the stomach and a bunch of romantic blather. But you don't just change your life for happy feelings.

I guess the reason i ask is I see so many women that seem to abhor men. And I ask myself....why do you pursue men??

And it can't be sex, because women seem to have a marginal interest in sex at least compared to men. It is the mantra of most married men "why am I not getting more sex!".

So maybe you can tell me how old you are? Are you old enough to be honest with yourself and others, or are you going to just talk about holding hands and butterflies?
Last edited by singleman4803; September 2,2009 at 8:49pm.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #10  September 2,2009, 9:01pm
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My age is in my profile. Yours is completely blank and your post just seems very immature to me. Anyone past age 18 (and most who are younger than that!) knows there is a LOT more to a relationship than sex. Apparently, however, that is the only dimension you are interested in.

Do you WANT a relationship with a woman? Do you want someone to have children with? To share life's experiences with? To set goals and achieve them with? To "be there" for on good days and bad? To grow old with? Most people want someone who "gets" them... their life outlook, their sense of humor, their goals in life. That's what most women, and most men by the way, want in a relationship. Do you want ANY of that, or are you just out for a good f*** whenever and wherever you can get one?

Sex is a very important element in a relationship, but it's not the only thing. And I've said plenty in my 400+ postings that anyone who's read much here would know I don't talk about "holding hands and butterflies."
 
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