Big_Bopper is offline Big_Bopper Post #1  September 1,2009, 7:48am
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I’m in open communication with a gorgeous lady. Warm, generous, funny, and very attractive. f
Within a couple of days of open communication, she was extremely keen to meet, and when I tentatively agreed she announced that she had holidays in 3 weeks, and could I fly over then.
Although I worry that things are moving too quickly, I’m ok with it.
Now she has offered that I can stay at her place.
So, just to recap, I’m a strange man, whom she barely knows apart from a few emails, and she’s offering to let me stay at her house!!!
Am I missing something?
Is it really that hard for a gorgeous woman to find a decent bloke?
I can be very slow to “read between the lines,” so I’m not even really sure whether she’s offering me her couch or her bed?
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #2  September 1,2009, 7:52am
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Big_Bopper wrote :
Is it really that hard for a gorgeous woman to find a decent bloke?
Yes
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #3  September 1,2009, 7:53am
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Big_Bopper wrote :
I’m in open communication with a gorgeous lady. Warm, generous, funny, and very attractive. f
Within a couple of days of open communication, she was extremely keen to meet, and when I tentatively agreed she announced that she had holidays in 3 weeks, and could I fly over then.
Although I worry that things are moving too quickly, I’m ok with it.
Now she has offered that I can stay at her place.
So, just to recap, I’m a strange man, whom she barely knows apart from a few emails, and she’s offering to let me stay at her house!!!
Am I missing something?
Is it really that hard for a gorgeous woman to find a decent bloke?
I can be very slow to “read between the lines,” so I’m not even really sure whether she’s offering me her couch or her bed?

It is much less expensive both financially and emotionally to pass this one up. Just my humble opinion. You do not know much about her and she does not know much about you. Think about this for a moment. What could either of you possibly hope will happen given all the missing parts here?? RED FLAGS ARE WAVING IN THE BREEZE, check outside and see them.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  September 1,2009, 8:18am
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Big_Bopper wrote :
I’m in open communication with a gorgeous lady. Warm, generous, funny, and very attractive. f
Within a couple of days of open communication, she was extremely keen to meet, and when I tentatively agreed she announced that she had holidays in 3 weeks, and could I fly over then.
Although I worry that things are moving too quickly, I’m ok with it.
Now she has offered that I can stay at her place.
So, just to recap, I’m a strange man, whom she barely knows apart from a few emails, and she’s offering to let me stay at her house!!!
Am I missing something?
Is it really that hard for a gorgeous woman to find a decent bloke?
I can be very slow to “read between the lines,” so I’m not even really sure whether she’s offering me her couch or her bed?
she sounds pretty aggressive to me. if you like that go with it. if not then.... yeah.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #5  September 1,2009, 8:29am
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If you think it is too much too soon than it is. If you are okay with that and willing to take a chance than go for it. But I think I would spend a bit more time getting to know the person before I paid for a trip to go see them.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #6  September 1,2009, 8:47am
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I have to agree with Stevex - if you think it's too soon meet and moving too fast then it probably is. It's important to meet face to face eventually if you're serious about a relationship, but you don't want things to move too quickly.

You don't say where you live and where she lives. Are you very far apart from each other? How easy is it to rent a hotel room and a car in the place where she lives? Would she be willing to come and see you? What kinds of things have you been talking about in your communications with her? How much do you know about her at this point (i.e. family, job, financial status, interests)?

It might be better putting off the trip for a while until you get to learn more about each other through email.
 
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DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #7  September 1,2009, 9:12am
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Hi Big Bopper!

I agree with the others that this is indeed a huge red flag!

If this lady had written in that she invited a guy she just met on the internet to fly to her town and visit over the holidays and stay at her house, I would tell her she's crazy! To let a strange man into her home is dangerous and foolhardy. No offense to you, Big Bopper, I'm sure you're a very nice man, but she has no way of knowing that!

To you, I would say, what if you meet her at the airport and find you are not attracted to her at all! You go out to dinner and there is nothing there. Now you are stuck staying at her house for several days when all you want is to get home as fast as you can.

Despite her offer, if you are bound and determined to go see her in 3 weeks, by all means decline her offer to stay at her home and stay in a hotel. It's the safer route--for both of you.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  September 1,2009, 10:23am
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It does not matter one bit what others think - what matters is what do you think? If you are OK with traveling to meet her, then go for it. If not, then suggest getting to know each other better first.

At the end of the day though, until you meet, you have no idea if you'll like each other or not, so I'm not an advocate of extensive e-mails and phone calls. For me personally, if distance is involved, I need to a get to a point with a person where I know that we would have a fun time together even if the physical attraction is not there. To be honest, figuring that out about a person does not take that long. In fact just a few phone calls is enough - the conversation either flows or it doesn't.

Also, despite her invitation to stay with her, I'd get a hotel room if you are going to go meet her. It's going to be much better and more comfortable for both of you regardless of whether you find each other attractive in person and get along or not.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #9  September 1,2009, 10:47am
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As far as dating...Do you want an adventure, or do you want coffee at Starbucks ?

And assume the couch.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  September 1,2009, 10:51am
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Given that this is a LDR then I would have to agree that this is moving at light speed.

In any situation you never really know anyone until you meet. I would never begin staying at a match's home. If you do go over to meet her then I would start off staying at a hotel. If things go well after a few days together you may want to then consider staying at her home.
 
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