VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #1  August 29,2009, 6:14pm
VB_Girl's Avatar

is working hard for this vacation!

Power Poster

Joined: Feb 2009

Chicago

Posts: 6,946

See profile

What do you feel is an appropriate time between dates if you are interested in spending more time with a person?

I assume that people are dating others and have other life commitments (kids, work, hobbies, friends, etc.) so I give it a week or maybe a little longer if I know they have something going on (vacation, travel for work. If they have indicated an interest in seeing you again, at what point do you start spending more time together?

I'm sure everyone is different, so I'm just looking for your thoughts generally.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  August 29,2009, 6:29pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

If you are dating casually then you may be only dating once a week or so.

If you have moved from the casual stage (not necessarily exclusive) you are going to be seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week.

Of course this comes with my standard disclaimer that I don't know anything about anything. I certainly have not been in this situation. It is just something I read in a book.
 
  Reply With Quote
CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #3  August 29,2009, 6:40pm
CreolePrinces…'s Avatar

It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

The Dirty South

Posts: 2,575

See profile

It really depends on the person's schedule. Some people are able to date during the week. So, dating a person who is able to do that, the dates may be closer together, especially if you live in close proxcimity to each other.
 
  Reply With Quote
Seneca is offline Seneca Post #4  August 29,2009, 6:58pm
Seneca's Avatar

a Dios

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 230

See profile

Lives and everyday schedules have too many variables to have a "rule" about the amount of time between dates. Just let whatever happens happen.
 
  Reply With Quote
waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #5  August 29,2009, 7:08pm

Unregistered

Joined: Aug 2009

Texas

Posts: 212

See profile

If you and another person are interested in each other... what stupid book said you had to wait a week to meet up again? Do it asap.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #6  August 29,2009, 8:18pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

VB_Girl wrote :
What do you feel is an appropriate time between dates if you are interested in spending more time with a person?

I assume that people are dating others and have other life commitments (kids, work, hobbies, friends, etc.) so I give it a week or maybe a little longer if I know they have something going on (vacation, travel for work. If they have indicated an interest in seeing you again, at what point do you start spending more time together?

I'm sure everyone is different, so I'm just looking for your thoughts generally.
I always thought that if you're really interested in someone, then you'll figure out your schedules pretty quickly. I expected that if neither of you are away on travel, less than a week might go by between dates initially, moving to seeing each other more than once a week on a regular basis after a month or two.

I'm not so sure about this now, because I tend to meet other professionals with kids, and often this just isn't feasible.

It's one of my biggest dating frustrations, because I believe that a certain amount of 'momentum' is necessary to keep an early relationship progressing, not necessarily on a physical level, but in general. I tend to be able move things around in my schedule in order to make time for someone who matters, but I've tried to 'graduate' to the concept that the juggle is just not as easy for others. I try not to take it personally, and I try to think about quality rather than quantity.
 
  Reply With Quote
VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #7  August 29,2009, 8:27pm
VB_Girl's Avatar

is working hard for this vacation!

Power Poster

Joined: Feb 2009

Chicago

Posts: 6,946

See profile

Interesting points Laced! I agree that it's important to keep the momentum going. I always thought I was a patient person, but I sometimes feel tested with internet dating.
 
  Reply With Quote
Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #8  August 29,2009, 8:42pm
Laughingdaily's Avatar

Ride along, and Remember to laugh every single day!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 626

See profile

This can be a tricky road sometimes. Lots of variable and sometimes patience runs short.

I try to find some creative ways to meet if it seems like a reasonable idea. That can also depend on the work we do and where we may be working.

Maybe we sit down and look at our schedules and compare notes, sometimes that works where we both see an opening.

This is just one of many wide open areas to look at. I had one woman who had to travel out of state frequently and that just did not work out. She was shall we say "less than honest" about her work requirements. But thats just an example.
 
  Reply With Quote
Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #9  August 30,2009, 5:46am
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 785

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
If you are dating casually then you may be only dating once a week or so.
Who would have time to be catching up every week; whether it is causal or otherwise? I use to catch up with my partner every few days, but sometimes much longer.

[COLOR=black]If someone has so much spare time, I think I'd avoid em. They are likely to be a tad dull. Let’s see, "will I watch ready steady cook, or catch up with stupid?"
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #10  August 30,2009, 5:50am
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

two times a week would be my max. probably one weekday and one weekend day.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Just play in your ~league~ | Dating | Do you think its distrubing when people won't date people thier own age? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
cristens and science tumbleweed 1 Corinthians 13 and more 56 September 30,2009 12:00pm
HELP: Relentlessly depressed and lonly. Need advice. Satsirosu Ask a Dating Expert 21 August 13,2009 9:46am
mutiple dates, no questions asked about me treeye Dating 11 June 4,2009 7:47am
Active or if I find the time Search 19gogan72 Using eHarmony 6 June 3,2009 2:33pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I do still eat and drink the things I shouldn't sometimes. I'd stop if I needed an Epi-Pen but none of my allergies are severe enough for that yet. I feel for you, Legend.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“No, this is the ONE, with the Domestic Man among men that I hunger for... New Twist Like the great philosopher Dr. Phil says, "When momma's happy, everyone's happy".” –  tweet37

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I think you are projecting that if you are the one paying for the first few dates that the woman is a "pay to play" woman and if you were to marry her she would be so irresponsible that you'd be ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“That's disappointing. You've gotten a lot of tips about changing your settings and I hope it pays off when you do.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“ Happy Faraday, Birth... um I mean... Happy Birthday, Fara. I blame harnomygirl... typing her name messes with your mind.” –  dmi

Join the “The End Maybe Coming” discussion

“I thought she took the safer route and met him here first. Now that she knows he's fun, they'll throw caution to the wind, but gently.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“ I wouldn't be so sure he was ready (the way you mean it) with this new girl. He was calling you testing the waters while seeing her, right? This may just be how he is in relationships- this may ... ” –  FairOne

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:38am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0