why he's so into me before we even meet?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
treeye is offline treeye Post #1  August 28,2009, 6:52pm
treeye's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Posts: 136

See profile

I've talked to a guy for a couple of weeks, we'd two phone conversations (average 30min) which were actually pretty good, a lot of spark. He even said (in a half joking way) that since we both like traveling, we might go traveling together on his birthday.

I know he's looking for a serious relationship,he likes to plan things, he likes Asian women and finds himself having a lot in common with them; he likes my profile, we've a lot in common. blabla

but why he appears so into me before we even meet? that gave me a lot of pressure meeting him on Sunday, not to mention that my only pic he's seen is a very low-resolution one, and it's the best pic of mine.

I feel pressure also I hope he's not fitting me into his "Asian women" frame before he met me. If not, why he appears so into me before we even meet?
 
  Reply With Quote
kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #2  August 28,2009, 6:58pm
kevin76's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2008

Louisiana

Posts: 447

See profile

treeye wrote :
I've talked to a guy for a couple of weeks, we'd two phone conversations (average 30min) which were actually pretty good, a lot of spark. He even said (in a half joking way) that since we both like traveling, we might go traveling together on his birthday.

I know he's looking for a serious relationship,he likes to plan things, he likes Asian women and finds himself having a lot in common with them; he likes my profile, we've a lot in common. blabla

but why he appears so into me before we even meet? that gave me a lot of pressure meeting him on Sunday, not to mention that my only pic he's seen is a very low-resolution one, and it's the best pic of mine.

I feel pressure also I hope he's not fitting me into his "Asian women" frame before he met me. If not, why he appears so into me before we even meet?
I don't know what you mean by "so into you" - all you mentioned was one (joking) comment about traveling. Possibly some of it is in your own head?

Anyway, with online dating it is very easy to build up an image of someone in your mind and 'fall in love' with that image. The reality almost never matches the image, but if all goes well that won't matter much. The image will blow away like smoke in the wind, to be replaced with a reality that is even better than he imagined.

Or, he'll be disappointed and move on.

Or, you'll be disappointed and move on.

Or, you'll both be deliriously happy and start making wedding plans right away. Okay, probably not that. But the point is, he shouldn't spend so much emotional energy projecting on what he thinks you're going to be like, and you should spend so much projecting on what you think is going on in his head. Just wait and see how it turns out.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #3  August 28,2009, 7:01pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

Yeah, there is something not right with guy that forms a bond too quickly.

But is it like Kevin suggested, was it this one comment or were there other things??
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #4  August 28,2009, 7:04pm
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

Hi treye!

We harken back to the days of yore... Men and women would exchange long passionate letters before ever meeting in person...

Oh wait, we're talking 21st century...

One of the really difficult tightropes of internet dating especially if people live in different places is how "into" the potential relationship do you allow yourself to become? Too little and the Real Life Meeting may never occur. Too much and you get crushed if the other person "poofs" on you (for whatever reason).

How much interest have you shown him? If you have shown some interest, maybe he's just become comfortable returning the same.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #5  August 28,2009, 7:09pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

DDjr wrote :
Hi treye!

We harken back to the days of yore... Men and women would exchange long passionate letters before ever meeting in person...

Oh wait, we're talking 21st century...

One of the really difficult tightropes of internet dating especially if people live in different places is how "into" the potential relationship do you allow yourself to become? Too little and the Real Life Meeting may never occur. Too much and you get crushed if the other person "poofs" on you (for whatever reason).

How much interest have you shown him? If you have shown some interest, maybe he's just become comfortable returning the same.
***thinking*** I never thought of it like that. Do you think that is it Treeye??

(Just me musing - I don't care for a guy that is eager beaver out of the gate. I don't trust it.)

(What is a treeye by the way?? Is that the first ring, right smack in the middle??)
 
  Reply With Quote
melman is offline melman Post #6  August 28,2009, 7:16pm
melman's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 2,944

See profile

So he's making offers to you, and you're wondering what you did to earn them, and you're actually kinda disappointed that you aren't having to work a little harder to meet this guy. Is any of this close to true?
 
  Reply With Quote
treeye is offline treeye Post #7  August 28,2009, 7:21pm
treeye's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Posts: 136

See profile

we didn't email that long, it's just from those phone conversations that I can find out he's pretty serious. there're a lot of other half joking comments that mentioned some sort of future together. I'm pretty positive this guy is looking for long term, even marriage, which could be the things I'm looking for too but I tried to stay aloof, because I don't want to disappoint myself. so yes, I did show some interest.

I don't intend to gauge what's in his head. yes I suspect why someone forms a bond so quick. now I just start to feel nervous for Sunday's meeting. I find sparks from our conversation and I think we're pretty good matches. Aloof I might appear, I want things work out, that's why I feel the pressure. Gosh, why the guy won't keep all those to himself?
 
  Reply With Quote
treeye is offline treeye Post #8  August 28,2009, 7:23pm
treeye's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Posts: 136

See profile

no it's not close.
he's making an offer before he meets me and really gets to know me. Is he looking for someone( anyone) to fill in a vacant spot in his life? I don't want that.

melman wrote :
So he's making offers to you, and you're wondering what you did to earn them, and you're actually kinda disappointed that you aren't having to work a little harder to meet this guy. Is any of this close to true?
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #9  August 28,2009, 7:29pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

treeye wrote :
we didn't email that long, it's just from those phone conversations that I can find out he's pretty serious. there're a lot of other half joking comments that mentioned some sort of future together. I'm pretty positive this guy is looking for long term, even marriage, which could be the things I'm looking for too but I tried to stay aloof, because I don't want to disappoint myself. so yes, I did show some interest.

I don't intend to gauge what's in his head. yes I suspect why someone forms a bond so quick. now I just start to feel nervous for Sunday's meeting. I find sparks from our conversation and I think we're pretty good matches. Aloof I might appear, I want things work out, that's why I feel the pressure. Gosh, why the guy won't keep all those to himself?
I can see feeling nervous if the feeling is uneven. I think even pace is important...too much too soon is bad if the other person is not feeling it. The pacing needs to be in-sync, regardless of where you both are pacing. Just make sure you are pacing the same.

So when do you meet??
 
  Reply With Quote
carose is offline carose Post #10  August 28,2009, 7:30pm
carose's Avatar

found the man of her dreams

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2009

USA

Posts: 61

See profile

Someone here once described a "player" as one who talks about a future together right away. I think it is a great way to "hook" a gal. I am a sucker for this, I like a guy who isn't afraid to picture us together. But bottom line is that it may be a form of emotional manipulation
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Dating for Reno's | Dating | A week after the date and no call! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Guys not wanting to even meet half way on first date. Dyveke23 Ask a Dating Expert 32 August 17,2009 10:40pm
Help! He wants to meet! Luna1 Dating 20 August 7,2009 12:40pm
should I meet him if I'm not that excited about his profile? treeye Dating 33 August 3,2009 9:42am
but I really want to meet other women cp30 About You 24 July 1,2009 7:22pm
First Meet...after 10 months of communication... radiogirl953 Ask a Dating Expert 8 June 25,2009 1:18pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I do still eat and drink the things I shouldn't sometimes. I'd stop if I needed an Epi-Pen but none of my allergies are severe enough for that yet. I feel for you, Legend.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“No, this is the ONE, with the Domestic Man among men that I hunger for... New Twist Like the great philosopher Dr. Phil says, "When momma's happy, everyone's happy".” –  tweet37

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I think you are projecting that if you are the one paying for the first few dates that the woman is a "pay to play" woman and if you were to marry her she would be so irresponsible that you'd be ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“That's disappointing. You've gotten a lot of tips about changing your settings and I hope it pays off when you do.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“ Happy Faraday, Birth... um I mean... Happy Birthday, Fara. I blame harnomygirl... typing her name messes with your mind.” –  dmi

Join the “The End Maybe Coming” discussion

“I thought she took the safer route and met him here first. Now that she knows he's fun, they'll throw caution to the wind, but gently.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“ I wouldn't be so sure he was ready (the way you mean it) with this new girl. He was calling you testing the waters while seeing her, right? This may just be how he is in relationships- this may ... ” –  FairOne

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:31am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0