Too "comfortable" too soon?


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ariala is offline ariala Post #1  August 28,2009, 3:37pm
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Hey y'all. Want to hear what you guys all think of this guy that I met on pof.

So he messaged me on pof and we've been chatting back and forth. He seems like a really funny guy and always make me laugh when we chat on msn. We've traded numbers so we've also been texting with witty banters and such. Only thing is, he'll say stuff like how much he misses me when I'm out of town for work (he jokingly said, "i'm proud of myself for being able to make through the last few days with you away") or stuff like how much he really likes chatting with me and that I can text him whenever I want to ("even if it's 3am"). We've only really started chatting since the beginning of the month and to me it just seems kind of strange that he would feel comfortable saying those stuff to a girl that he's never met!

Do you think it's a warning sign that he's feeling so "comfortable" and seems almost attached so quick, especially with a girl who he's never met? We've made plans to meet by the end of the month. Should I be a bit weary??
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  August 28,2009, 5:48pm
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I see all kinds of red flags here. Just from what you have said I would say he is needy. However, he could also be a player.

A few random thoughts that are not worth much. I would judge POF as a place that players hang out and that people that are looking for LTRs use pay sites. I would have suggested that you should have set up a meeting sooner than a month of electronic communication unless this is a long distance thing.

Of course I have no idea what you are looking for in the dating world.
 
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cwhite1028 is offline cwhite1028 Post #3  August 28,2009, 5:55pm
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I agree with Gr8Guy this person sounds very needy or a player. You havent even been on a date and he is missing you when your out of town?

I could be totally wrong but the red flags are flying everywhere to me. If a female did this to me and we had not even met I would be thinking great im in the bonus round of the STALKER game.
 
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sammy2003 is offline sammy2003 Post #4  August 28,2009, 6:03pm
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Um - ya, its creepy. I wouldn't meet him if I were you.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #5  August 28,2009, 6:12pm
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Run away.
Run away screaming.

If you feel absolutely compelled to go through with meeting him, through some misbegotten sense of obligation to psycho stalker strangers, be sure to bring a large bodyguard or two with you.

Was that clear enough, or do I need a bigger hammer?
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #6  August 28,2009, 9:00pm

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Give him the benefit of the doubt and reserve judgment until after you meet him. Remember it's hard to be funny and charming but he's trying.

Harvey7.
 
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jerzee is offline jerzee Post #7  August 29,2009, 6:14am
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I agree with Harvey. Don't be too quick to judge. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. He's trying to be witty and charming which isn't easy by text message.
 
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flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #8  August 29,2009, 6:42am
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I don't know if he's psycho, but he's definitely living in fantasy land. What does he miss? You've never even met. I'd say press on for a guy who operates within the realm of reality.
 
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ariala is offline ariala Post #9  August 30,2009, 4:02pm
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k, so a little update. I just finished going on a date with him. It turned out to be a great date. He was really attentive and funny throughout the date. I felt quite comfortable with him and there were no real awkward or boring moments. I do still have some reservations with how he seems to be super comfortable with me and we seem to be moving a bit too quick compared to other first dates that I've been on. But my first dates are usually drinks vs as this time we went to a local fair, so the time is longer and more opportunities for things to progress faster (i.e. holding hands ...)?

Anyway, I guess time will tell..
 
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DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #10  August 30,2009, 4:20pm
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Well I WAS going to say that I'm with Harvey, maybe the guy was trying to be funny, since you said he is humorous and you said that he JOKINGLY said he's proud of himself for making it through when you're out of town. It can be really difficult to read a person's intention in an email or text message.

Also I was wondering if you are texting back and forth what difference would it make if you are out of town? Phone still works.

Anyway, I'm really glad you had a great first date! And don't forget you are a strong woman with your own agency, and you don't have to go at a pace that is faster than you like! YOU can set the pace!

:-)
 
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