Dating someone who has had plastic surgery...


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carose is offline carose Post #1  August 28,2009, 11:01am
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Who out there has experienced finding out that a person they are dating has had plastic surgery. Or hypothetically, think about how you would feel if someone has had a nose job or tummy tuck or breast reduction, etc.?

Did it change your opinion of the person?
How did you feel about the scars?
Should the person disclose all the alterations they have made?

Keep in mind that when someone gets work done, a choice has been made that the end result is worth putting themselves at risk for many complications and a tremendous amount of pain.
They have calculated that the benefits outweigh the risks and what they looked like before is worse than having scars or stigma.

I look forward to our discussion on this!
Peace, Carose
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  August 28,2009, 11:17am
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carose wrote :
Who out there has experienced finding out that a person they are dating has had plastic surgery. Or hypothetically, think about how you would feel if someone has had a nose job or tummy tuck or breast reduction, etc.?

Did it change your opinion of the person?
How did you feel about the scars?
Should the person disclose all the alterations they have made?

Keep in mind that when someone gets work done, a choice has been made that the end result is worth putting themselves at risk for many complications and a tremendous amount of pain.
They have calculated that the benefits outweigh the risks and what they looked like before is worse than having scars or stigma.

I look forward to our discussion on this!
Peace, Carose
I've been one who has always attracted to slender women and many of them have smaller breasts. So I was never one to seek out or have a "breast" thing. In fact, I never found big breasts attractive and was actually turned off by women who has breast augmentation done (other than cancer victims, etc.).
Then a few months ago I met a wonderful woman who has breast implants. I still date her and her personality, charm, and modesty is the exact opposite of many of the women with breast implants that I know. Unlike the stereotype, she is very down to earth, not obsessed with her looks, has good self-esteem, and doesn't put "the girls" out there for everyone to see. I'd still like her if she didn't have the implants, so to me, they're a waste of money.
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #3  August 28,2009, 11:18am
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Really depends upon the procedure. Breast reduction I have no qualms about as the reason is mostly quality of life related. One time deals like nose jobs or breast augmentation probably isn't a big deal either. Things like face lifts, tummy tucks, liposuction--they indicate an unwillingness to accept aging gracefully and those type of people keep going back to the well too often. Go look at Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffiths, they could like like graceful, classy older women..but now they look like freaks.
 
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Emme is offline Emme Post #4  August 28,2009, 2:58pm

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Tummy tucks and other similar plastic surgery procedures are often used after gastric bypass surgery to remove excess skin. Excess skin can be extremely uncomfortable, never mind ugly. I had a bypass and a tummy tuck and if someone can't deal with it, see ya. It's taken me way too much time to get comfortable with myself to deal with someone who will quibble with that. This is my package, scars and skin and all.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #5  August 28,2009, 4:21pm
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Being a woman, most of my dates haven't had any plastic surgery. I think my reaction would depend on their motivation if I did come across it. A tummy tuck on someone who has lost a great deal of weight would be completely understandable. I can't say I'd say the same thing about a man who got lipo for washboard abs. That would be a turnoff.

I have dated quite a few men who have felt the need to suggest that I get "enhanced", though. At this point in my life, it's not an attitude I feel like putting up with any longer. This is how I am, so love it or leave it.

I even had one who discussed it almost daily, the bigger the better. I just saw a picture of his ex-wife, and it looks like someone sawed a basketball in half and slapped it on her chest. I think that's what he was hoping I would do. Um... no. Especially after hearing the horror stories of how badly the surgeon botched it, and the lawsuit that followed. Oh, and they're back together again, so I guess it really was a big deal to him.

To each his own. I'm not a big fan of plastic surgery, unless it's to "fix" something that would make a person stand out in a crowd or to make their lives less physically painful (like with breast reduction). Most of the time, the money would be better spent on counseling for the person to accept themselves as the imperfect human they (and we all) are.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  August 28,2009, 5:39pm
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It really depends on the reason for the surgery. Plastic surgery to correct an underlying medical issue is different than that which certain entertainment people have done because they can't deal with how they look.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #7  August 28,2009, 5:48pm
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I'm being modded.

Not quite sure why...
 
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RachieCapachie is offline RachieCapachie Post #8  August 28,2009, 6:47pm
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(originally edited --- response to wrong OP)
 
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RachieCapachie is offline RachieCapachie Post #9  August 28,2009, 6:54pm
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I don't think it's that much of an issue as long as the reasons are right (medical, after an accident, excess skin, etc.)

Reminds me of a clip I saw the other day... people are starting to have surgeries to change their natural eye color. Only place in the world so far that'll do it is in Panama. I think that's a bit ridiculous, personally.

I do think it needs to be disclosed if a serious relationship/marriage would ensue. Imagine having a baby and wondering where THAT nose came from.
 
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wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #10  August 28,2009, 8:11pm
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If I like the way you look when I meet you, I really wouldn't care what kind of plastics work you've had done beforehand. If I find out about it for some reason, I might ask some questions and listen to the answers with care, but what is done is done at that point.

And, if the person I'm with wants to go under the knife while we're together, that's OK too. It's not my body, not my choice. But I would hope there's a discussion between us before the date with the surgeon, and if I'm invited, I'll go to the appointments. I would do my very best to be supportive of my partner, and I would hope for the same consideration if I were on the table getting something nipped, tucked and so forth.
 
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