Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
carose's Avatar

carose found the man of her dreams

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 61

See profile

Who out there has experienced finding out that a person they are dating has had plastic surgery. Or hypothetically, think about how you would feel if someone has had a nose job or tummy tuck or breast reduction, etc.?

Did it change your opinion of the person?
How did you feel about the scars?
Should the person disclose all the alterations they have made?

Keep in mind that when someone gets work done, a choice has been made that the end result is worth putting themselves at risk for many complications and a tremendous amount of pain.
They have calculated that the benefits outweigh the risks and what they looked like before is worse than having scars or stigma.

I look forward to our discussion on this!
Peace, Carose
- August 28th, 2009, 01:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
boccabum's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 976

See profile

carose wrote :
Who out there has experienced finding out that a person they are dating has had plastic surgery. Or hypothetically, think about how you would feel if someone has had a nose job or tummy tuck or breast reduction, etc.?

Did it change your opinion of the person?
How did you feel about the scars?
Should the person disclose all the alterations they have made?

Keep in mind that when someone gets work done, a choice has been made that the end result is worth putting themselves at risk for many complications and a tremendous amount of pain.
They have calculated that the benefits outweigh the risks and what they looked like before is worse than having scars or stigma.

I look forward to our discussion on this!
Peace, Carose
I've been one who has always attracted to slender women and many of them have smaller breasts. So I was never one to seek out or have a "breast" thing. In fact, I never found big breasts attractive and was actually turned off by women who has breast augmentation done (other than cancer victims, etc.).
Then a few months ago I met a wonderful woman who has breast implants. I still date her and her personality, charm, and modesty is the exact opposite of many of the women with breast implants that I know. Unlike the stereotype, she is very down to earth, not obsessed with her looks, has good self-esteem, and doesn't put "the girls" out there for everyone to see. I'd still like her if she didn't have the implants, so to me, they're a waste of money.
- August 28th, 2009, 01:17 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
RebornInFire's Avatar

RebornInFire is headed back to Atlanta for work

Enthusiast

Join Date: Feb 2009

Posts: 683

See profile

Really depends upon the procedure. Breast reduction I have no qualms about as the reason is mostly quality of life related. One time deals like nose jobs or breast augmentation probably isn't a big deal either. Things like face lifts, tummy tucks, liposuction--they indicate an unwillingness to accept aging gracefully and those type of people keep going back to the well too often. Go look at Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffiths, they could like like graceful, classy older women..but now they look like freaks.
- August 28th, 2009, 01:18 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
Emme's Avatar

Emme .

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1,256

See profile

Tummy tucks and other similar plastic surgery procedures are often used after gastric bypass surgery to remove excess skin. Excess skin can be extremely uncomfortable, never mind ugly. I had a bypass and a tummy tuck and if someone can't deal with it, see ya. It's taken me way too much time to get comfortable with myself to deal with someone who will quibble with that. This is my package, scars and skin and all.
- August 28th, 2009, 04:58 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
chawks64's Avatar

chawks64 can finally put country music back n the lineup again.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,938

See profile

Being a woman, most of my dates haven't had any plastic surgery. I think my reaction would depend on their motivation if I did come across it. A tummy tuck on someone who has lost a great deal of weight would be completely understandable. I can't say I'd say the same thing about a man who got lipo for washboard abs. That would be a turnoff.

I have dated quite a few men who have felt the need to suggest that I get "enhanced", though. At this point in my life, it's not an attitude I feel like putting up with any longer. This is how I am, so love it or leave it.

I even had one who discussed it almost daily, the bigger the better. I just saw a picture of his ex-wife, and it looks like someone sawed a basketball in half and slapped it on her chest. I think that's what he was hoping I would do. Um... no. Especially after hearing the horror stories of how badly the surgeon botched it, and the lawsuit that followed. Oh, and they're back together again, so I guess it really was a big deal to him.

To each his own. I'm not a big fan of plastic surgery, unless it's to "fix" something that would make a person stand out in a crowd or to make their lives less physically painful (like with breast reduction). Most of the time, the money would be better spent on counseling for the person to accept themselves as the imperfect human they (and we all) are.
- August 28th, 2009, 06:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,311

See profile

It really depends on the reason for the surgery. Plastic surgery to correct an underlying medical issue is different than that which certain entertainment people have done because they can't deal with how they look.
- August 28th, 2009, 07:39 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
chawks64's Avatar

chawks64 can finally put country music back n the lineup again.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,938

See profile

I'm being modded.

Not quite sure why...
- August 28th, 2009, 07:48 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
RachieCapachie's Avatar

RachieCapachie is learning to be patient.

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 10

See profile

(originally edited --- response to wrong OP)
- August 28th, 2009, 08:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
RachieCapachie's Avatar

RachieCapachie is learning to be patient.

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 10

See profile

I don't think it's that much of an issue as long as the reasons are right (medical, after an accident, excess skin, etc.)

Reminds me of a clip I saw the other day... people are starting to have surgeries to change their natural eye color. Only place in the world so far that'll do it is in Panama. I think that's a bit ridiculous, personally.

I do think it needs to be disclosed if a serious relationship/marriage would ensue. Imagine having a baby and wondering where THAT nose came from.
- August 28th, 2009, 08:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
wordwoman's Avatar

wordwoman is in contemplation

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 221

See profile

If I like the way you look when I meet you, I really wouldn't care what kind of plastics work you've had done beforehand. If I find out about it for some reason, I might ask some questions and listen to the answers with care, but what is done is done at that point.

And, if the person I'm with wants to go under the knife while we're together, that's OK too. It's not my body, not my choice. But I would hope there's a discussion between us before the date with the surgeon, and if I'm invited, I'll go to the appointments. I would do my very best to be supportive of my partner, and I would hope for the same consideration if I were on the table getting something nipped, tucked and so forth.
- August 28th, 2009, 10:11 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dating Multiple Partners & Sex parakeetjordan Dating 63 October 23rd, 2009 11:05 am
dating and geography cp30 Dating 93 August 13th, 2009 04:03 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It appears the OP hasn't participated in EhA since she login and posed her question initially. We all come to these advise boards with so many different backgrounds...in fact I wrote another post on ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“Darn..is that it..the first sign of awkwardness and kapowie/ shoot the relationship down.Here we haver 2 introverts without, apparently, heaps of experience, looking not for a way to end it, but for ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “what to do... second guessing myself” discussion

“Today I went on a second date with a guy that I met off of Eharmony. It went great; we ended up spending 7 hours together, and it flew by. We went to a bar, walked around town, then went back to his ... ” – Andrea8823

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“Lil lamb, I mentioned God in this topic for a number of reasons. 1. He is the Author of marriage. 2. The OP expressly emphasized God 3. The nature of this group. 4. A few more......... Perhaps ... ” – lil_lamb

Join the “Letter: National migration towards legalization of same-sex marriage” discussion

“Maybe I'm missing something too, but I had closed my match and she finally asked to reopen...but looks like if you've closed somebody before you can't reopen it as a non-paying member. Not that it ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“hmm. well, i've got a nasty streak of religiosity. as in, i believe chastity is not only for the unmarried. do i qualify? anyways, i'd say it's hard to talk about "advantages." being religious is, ... ” – lil_lamb

Join the “Gods will and sex vs abstinence for older folks” discussion

“I went on a short ( 4 nights 5 days) cruise to Alaska (we couldn't see Russia though) with someone I was dating/a lover last year.We were able to take our own booze BTW and there were smoking and non ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Is a Cruise a good Date?” discussion

“Each person has his or her own set of correct behaviors, depending on their age, rearing, socio-economic status, religious inclination, financial ability etc etc etc.We can't and shouldn't attempt to ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Ethical Considerations In Dating Multiple People” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:21 am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0