Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
carose carose is offline
carose's Avatar

carose found the man of her dreams

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 61

See profile

Who out there has experienced finding out that a person they are dating has had plastic surgery. Or hypothetically, think about how you would feel if someone has had a nose job or tummy tuck or breast reduction, etc.?

Did it change your opinion of the person?
How did you feel about the scars?
Should the person disclose all the alterations they have made?

Keep in mind that when someone gets work done, a choice has been made that the end result is worth putting themselves at risk for many complications and a tremendous amount of pain.
They have calculated that the benefits outweigh the risks and what they looked like before is worse than having scars or stigma.

I look forward to our discussion on this!
Peace, Carose
- August 28th, 2009, 01:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
boccabum boccabum is offline
boccabum's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 976

See profile

carose wrote :
Who out there has experienced finding out that a person they are dating has had plastic surgery. Or hypothetically, think about how you would feel if someone has had a nose job or tummy tuck or breast reduction, etc.?

Did it change your opinion of the person?
How did you feel about the scars?
Should the person disclose all the alterations they have made?

Keep in mind that when someone gets work done, a choice has been made that the end result is worth putting themselves at risk for many complications and a tremendous amount of pain.
They have calculated that the benefits outweigh the risks and what they looked like before is worse than having scars or stigma.

I look forward to our discussion on this!
Peace, Carose
I've been one who has always attracted to slender women and many of them have smaller breasts. So I was never one to seek out or have a "breast" thing. In fact, I never found big breasts attractive and was actually turned off by women who has breast augmentation done (other than cancer victims, etc.).
Then a few months ago I met a wonderful woman who has breast implants. I still date her and her personality, charm, and modesty is the exact opposite of many of the women with breast implants that I know. Unlike the stereotype, she is very down to earth, not obsessed with her looks, has good self-esteem, and doesn't put "the girls" out there for everyone to see. I'd still like her if she didn't have the implants, so to me, they're a waste of money.
- August 28th, 2009, 01:17 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
RebornInFire RebornInFire is online now
RebornInFire's Avatar

RebornInFire is bored.

Enthusiast

Join Date: Feb 2009

Posts: 695

See profile

Really depends upon the procedure. Breast reduction I have no qualms about as the reason is mostly quality of life related. One time deals like nose jobs or breast augmentation probably isn't a big deal either. Things like face lifts, tummy tucks, liposuction--they indicate an unwillingness to accept aging gracefully and those type of people keep going back to the well too often. Go look at Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffiths, they could like like graceful, classy older women..but now they look like freaks.
- August 28th, 2009, 01:18 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
Emme Emme is offline
Emme's Avatar

Emme .

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1,280

See profile

Tummy tucks and other similar plastic surgery procedures are often used after gastric bypass surgery to remove excess skin. Excess skin can be extremely uncomfortable, never mind ugly. I had a bypass and a tummy tuck and if someone can't deal with it, see ya. It's taken me way too much time to get comfortable with myself to deal with someone who will quibble with that. This is my package, scars and skin and all.
- August 28th, 2009, 04:58 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
chawks64 chawks64 is online now
chawks64's Avatar

chawks64 is trying very hard to be patient. Definitely not my best talent.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 5,216

See profile

Being a woman, most of my dates haven't had any plastic surgery. I think my reaction would depend on their motivation if I did come across it. A tummy tuck on someone who has lost a great deal of weight would be completely understandable. I can't say I'd say the same thing about a man who got lipo for washboard abs. That would be a turnoff.

I have dated quite a few men who have felt the need to suggest that I get "enhanced", though. At this point in my life, it's not an attitude I feel like putting up with any longer. This is how I am, so love it or leave it.

I even had one who discussed it almost daily, the bigger the better. I just saw a picture of his ex-wife, and it looks like someone sawed a basketball in half and slapped it on her chest. I think that's what he was hoping I would do. Um... no. Especially after hearing the horror stories of how badly the surgeon botched it, and the lawsuit that followed. Oh, and they're back together again, so I guess it really was a big deal to him.

To each his own. I'm not a big fan of plastic surgery, unless it's to "fix" something that would make a person stand out in a crowd or to make their lives less physically painful (like with breast reduction). Most of the time, the money would be better spent on counseling for the person to accept themselves as the imperfect human they (and we all) are.
- August 28th, 2009, 06:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I'm in love and always will be ... All that was there will be there still

Sage

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 10,620

See profile

It really depends on the reason for the surgery. Plastic surgery to correct an underlying medical issue is different than that which certain entertainment people have done because they can't deal with how they look.
- August 28th, 2009, 07:39 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
chawks64 chawks64 is online now
chawks64's Avatar

chawks64 is trying very hard to be patient. Definitely not my best talent.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 5,216

See profile

I'm being modded.

Not quite sure why...
- August 28th, 2009, 07:48 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
RachieCapachie RachieCapachie is offline
RachieCapachie's Avatar

RachieCapachie is learning to be patient.

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 10

See profile

(originally edited --- response to wrong OP)
- August 28th, 2009, 08:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
RachieCapachie RachieCapachie is offline
RachieCapachie's Avatar

RachieCapachie is learning to be patient.

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 10

See profile

I don't think it's that much of an issue as long as the reasons are right (medical, after an accident, excess skin, etc.)

Reminds me of a clip I saw the other day... people are starting to have surgeries to change their natural eye color. Only place in the world so far that'll do it is in Panama. I think that's a bit ridiculous, personally.

I do think it needs to be disclosed if a serious relationship/marriage would ensue. Imagine having a baby and wondering where THAT nose came from.
- August 28th, 2009, 08:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
wordwoman wordwoman is offline
wordwoman's Avatar

wordwoman is in contemplation

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 221

See profile

If I like the way you look when I meet you, I really wouldn't care what kind of plastics work you've had done beforehand. If I find out about it for some reason, I might ask some questions and listen to the answers with care, but what is done is done at that point.

And, if the person I'm with wants to go under the knife while we're together, that's OK too. It's not my body, not my choice. But I would hope there's a discussion between us before the date with the surgeon, and if I'm invited, I'll go to the appointments. I would do my very best to be supportive of my partner, and I would hope for the same consideration if I were on the table getting something nipped, tucked and so forth.
- August 28th, 2009, 10:11 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks


« FIRST DATE IDEAS | Array | Friday Night Roll Call »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
dating and geography cp30 Dating 97 February 6th, 2010 12:36 am
Dating Multiple Partners & Sex parakeetjordan Dating 68 January 8th, 2010 08:09 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I believe Valentines day is one day where people who have no one, besides friends and relatives, to celebrate this romantic holiday with, feel a sense of loneliness. Some of us are used to this, last ... ” – DennisWisconsin

Join the “No Valentines” discussion

“ Well, the term "knob" certainly isn't Shakespeare, but it is colorful nonetheless. I shall add it to my vernacular immediately!” – rocchio

Join the “Getting Over My Girlfriend's Past Lovers?” discussion

“It's Complicated=married, wanting a little something 'extra' on the side. That I am comfortable with who I am, but it seems a LOT of men are searching for that elusive...Barbie... So what do you ... ” – DennisWisconsin

Join the “What lessons have you learned from online dating?” discussion

“thank you. I should do it. just scared about that pain... and he said he doesn't care about this woman much... just that boy who had lived with him for more that 4 years since he was 7 years old. ... ” – hycpt

Join the “is it normal? or traditional american culture?” discussion

“I agree with you so I now stay away from plaid, wide stripes, and most patterns... I go mostly with plain button down shirts... ” – DennisWisconsin

Join the “How to End Bad Relationship Patterns” discussion

“As for 'better to know than not to know' he knows you are checking now. At least for me, it felt better to take some of that pressure off....of both of us. ....it's a messy gray area. I have no ... ” – cp30

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion

“You are right about all of it. Unfortunately....You know what you are doing is right, it was just hard enough to have to come to that decision, and now having to live with it is reallly hard. Time ... ” – beautifulgenius

Join the “It's over.” discussion

“This is quite funny, well, maybe it's not, but it provided about 2 minutes of entertainment for me tonight... the funny part is, by me clicking on his picture, he will see that I looked at him !! ... ” – DennisWisconsin

Join the “Hi Boss... Looking for a Date Too??” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:52 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0