AnnaSAF is offline AnnaSAF Post #1  August 28,2009, 3:58am
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Hello all, I'm new to this whole discussion board thing, but I wanted to get some advice on something that's been going on. The Wednesday before last I was on a site (I'll be honest it wasn't eHarmony) and I started talking with this guy. We really clicked and before the night was over he had asked me out on a date for this coming Sunday. We have each other's cell numbers and were texting all night that first night then half of the day the following day. I was away last weekend (which is why we didn't make the date for last weekend) and I texted him saying I was stuck in traffic and I was wondering how he was. He said he was busy at work so I said ok have fun. I didn't text him the next day because I was hanging out with my friend who I was visiting. Then on Sunday he texted me saying that he was thinking about me and wanted to say Hi. I replied back later after gushing about this with my gal pals at home and the one I was hanging out with. I said that I was sorry to have taken a while to get back to him, I was driving around lost in Boston. He never responded. I came home on Monday and texted him saying I was glad to be home and asked him how he was doing... no response. Tuesday and Wednesday I sent Hi how are you doing texts and again no response. It's now Friday and we are supposed to meet up on Sunday but I haven't heard from him, and we don't have definite plans. Did he just vanish? did I do something to scare him away? And do I sit around waiting for him until Sunday?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  August 28,2009, 4:04am
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I don't know your ages but as a guy I'm going to say he's all texted out. Too bad you don't speak to each other on those phones and get clear communication.
 
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AnnaSAF is offline AnnaSAF Post #3  August 28,2009, 4:07am
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He's 26 and I'm 25, I'm shy when it comes to the phone. He's never suggested calling.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #4  August 28,2009, 4:12am
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Then I ges u 2 wil hav 2 b happy with a txt spk relationship.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  August 28,2009, 4:30am
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AnnaSAF wrote :
Hello all, I'm new to this whole discussion board thing, but I wanted to get some advice on something that's been going on. The Wednesday before last I was on a site (I'll be honest it wasn't eHarmony) and I started talking with this guy. We really clicked and before the night was over he had asked me out on a date for this coming Sunday. We have each other's cell numbers and were texting all night that first night then half of the day the following day. I was away last weekend (which is why we didn't make the date for last weekend) and I texted him saying I was stuck in traffic and I was wondering how he was. He said he was busy at work so I said ok have fun. I didn't text him the next day because I was hanging out with my friend who I was visiting. Then on Sunday he texted me saying that he was thinking about me and wanted to say Hi. I replied back later after gushing about this with my gal pals at home and the one I was hanging out with. I said that I was sorry to have taken a while to get back to him, I was driving around lost in Boston. He never responded. I came home on Monday and texted him saying I was glad to be home and asked him how he was doing... no response. Tuesday and Wednesday I sent Hi how are you doing texts and again no response. It's now Friday and we are supposed to meet up on Sunday but I haven't heard from him, and we don't have definite plans. Did he just vanish? did I do something to scare him away? And do I sit around waiting for him until Sunday?
well imo the guy wasnt really serious about going out with you. when someone suggests a date with no definite plan its a bookmark. you have no idea if you really have a date or not so you have no idea if you should not make other plans because he didnt make anything definite.

my guess? too much texting and interaction. the first no response would have been it for me. in fact, i would have never sent any "updates".

i wouldnt contact him again and just go about your day on Sunday as usual even if he contacts you.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #6  August 28,2009, 12:20pm
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AnnaSAF wrote :
Then on Sunday he texted me saying that he was thinking about me and wanted to say Hi. I replied back later after gushing about this with my gal pals at home and the one I was hanging out with. I said that I was sorry to have taken a while to get back to him, I was driving around lost in Boston. He never responded.
I'm going to guess it was this ...1) he probably thought you were playing "make him wait" games or 2) that you had something better going on where you couldn't take 20 seconds out of your day to respond in a timely manner or 3) you had lost interest. While you were 'gushing' about it to your friends / driving around lost in Boston, he was was probably sitting around thinking he's getting played.

On the bright side, a guy that would get his panties all in an uproar and vanish based on this first incident (and, I'm assuming it was the first incident) probably isn't worth it to begin with ...
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #7  August 28,2009, 12:27pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
On the bright side, a guy that would get his panties all in an uproar and vanish based on this first incident (and, I'm assuming it was the first incident) probably isn't worth it to begin with ...
Not so sure I would want a guy who wears panties either!
 
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Paolo1117 is offline Paolo1117 Post #8  August 28,2009, 12:39pm
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To me it sounds like he was interested at first and then after a while he lost interest and because he was not truly invested (only talking through texts) he felt he owed you nothing and is now ignoring you.

I'm 24 and I've had an experience with text messages with a previous girlfriend that I don't plan on re-enacting. It's best just to talk to people. Text messages are just like e-mails, they're impersonal and physically anonymous to the point where you can say something and not get a real time response. So his "I was just thinking of you and wanted to say hi" text, should have been a phone call, it's a Sunday and the middle of the day right? Him texting that to you allowed him to avoid the immediate response from your lips which he was probably afraid of because he wasn't ever THAT into it.

Bottom line, if you want to be involved with someone at some point, you need to learn to communicate face/face or over the phone with that person. You can never tell tone of voice or punctuation in text messages and that right there is enough to ultimately end a budding relationship. E-mails and text messages are fine for updates and communicating plans, but in almost all circumstances, if you're going to have a conversation, call someone. Text messages are a cop-out in my book.

Sorry to hear that this is ending up like this, some guys are complete idiots and they ruin it for the rest of us
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #9  August 28,2009, 12:41pm
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Anna, I agree with tweet here.
If you're interested in someone, you need to get over your shyness on the phone. THIS particular guy might be a flake but the chances of him flaking out were guaranteed by not making a connection on the phone.
I have gals text messaging me all the time. Those little messages, after a while, mean nothing to me. I feel like I'm just another notch on their popular text message inbox. This might not be accurate or true but it's how I feel. Maybe he did too?
 
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thrashee is offline thrashee Post #10  August 28,2009, 2:44pm
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This is another example of how technology is making the younger generations smarter, isn't it?
 
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