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JDavid JDavid is offline
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In one of the threads there was discussion of a date being very late and consistently late.

shoopthedoop wrote :
She showed up late every time we met, including 45 minutes late the last time we met.

JDavid wrote :
If a person ("date" or otherwise) was that late (or consistently late) meeting me they would meet alone.

People treat you (generic term) like you "tell" them to treat you (with words or actions).

Anyone who tolerates poor treatment is likely to find exactly that, repeatedly. By refusing to be the recipient of inconsiderate or inappropriate actions, either the behavior changes or the person is "shown the door". Either works.

A key factor in most interactions -- do not negotiate from a position of weakness -- have or create alternatives.

Edited to add: She would already have my "feedback" -- directly and unmistakably.

What are your thoughts on the matter?
- August 27th, 2009, 09:00 am
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TrueStory TrueStory is offline
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Jdavid,


There are two reasons people are late:

Circumstances outside of control (traffic accident, flat tire, etc).


Lack of respect for waiting party.

Do I need to say more?
- August 27th, 2009, 11:50 am
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Duskin5 Duskin5 is offline
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I met a woman like that through eHarmony last year. I'd never been out with a chronically late woman before and I don't plan on doing it again. She was extremely self-centered and self-absorbed and I suppose that was part of the root cause of her lateness. She was above average looking for a 31-year-old, and I suspect she may have been very good looking when she was younger before her looks started to fade, so she probably got used to getting away with treating people this way. I feel sorry for any guy who gets stuck with her.
- August 27th, 2009, 01:21 pm
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stevex stevex is offline
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My tolerance level varies on the situation.

Example:

My first date in over 6 months was last weekend. As I said in the date roundup thread we had agreed to meet at 6:30, due to work circumstances on my part I called two hours prior and arranged to meet her at 7. She ended up being about 10 minutes late.

Now A) she was polite enough to understand my work obligations and made no fuss about it B) she is going to college here but isn't from around here and had never been to the restaurant we were meeting at. So I called a good friend of mine while waiting, we had a nice short chat and all was well.

10-15 minutes is no big deal to me, I am pretty laid back and never the kind of guy to get up tight over time. I will probably wait an hour before leaving and never seeing her again. 45 minutes and I will wait but if she has no good reason than it is a strike and if it happened again I would put her with those who have no respect and move on. 30 minutes a few times before I moved on. but 10 and 15 minutes I can and will live with.
- August 27th, 2009, 02:40 pm
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If she's more than 3 weeks late I start getting worried.
- August 27th, 2009, 02:54 pm
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jayjay wrote :
If she's more than 3 weeks late I start getting worried.
Maybe you should get snipped.
- August 27th, 2009, 02:59 pm
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If a guy is late chronically or otherwise, I won't stick around. There are extenuating circumstances of course, but if something "comes up" all the time, I find it just plain rude.
- August 27th, 2009, 03:03 pm
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meri75 meri75 is offline
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I don't tolerate a lack of punctuality at all. To me, this means a person who has agreed to a meeting at a certain time and fails to arrive on time, due to either a lack of respect or inability to manage his/her time appropriately. Both are unattractive traits.

I don't lump in to the above those who are late due to circumstances beyond their control.
- August 27th, 2009, 03:33 pm
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Its probably best that people find someone who matches them on this criteria if it's important to them.

Someone who lives by the military precision of timing and can't tolerate someone being even one minute late will be happiest with someone who lives likewise, just as someone who believes "better late than never" will be happiest with someone with a similar outlook.

Neither one is superior to the other. It's just one more way in which people are diverse.
- August 27th, 2009, 05:23 pm
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stevex wrote :
10-15 minutes is no big deal to me, I am pretty laid back and never the kind of guy to get up tight over time. I will probably wait an hour before leaving and never seeing her again. 45 minutes and I will wait but if she has no good reason than it is a strike and if it happened again I would put her with those who have no respect and move on. 30 minutes a few times before I moved on. but 10 and 15 minutes I can and will live with.
10 to 15 minutes on occasion is bearable. Habitually, not so much.

The 45 minutes I referred to in the thread JDavid started this thread about was close to a deal breaker, and it was definitely a factor in choosing not to meet the person again.

I'm almost always on time when meeting people. The two times I've been noticeably late (+10 minutes) in the past six months or so meeting people were both greeted with "I thought something happened to you because you are never late."
- August 27th, 2009, 05:30 pm
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