Tina2005 is offline Tina2005 Post #1  August 26,2009, 8:13am
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I've met someone of e-harmony.First "blind" date ever.All went well and he said he wanted to see me again.

Couple of days after that we talked and he said he might come to see me that night.I have sent MSG to check with him if he was coming or not,which he didn't reply so i went out with my friend.

Next day i expected MSG from him,or at least reply with some sort of excuse,but nothing.I got very upset and sent MSG saying that i was disappointed and that he showed me hi is shallow.

Day after that he replied saying that I was right-in ironic way saying that he is shallow because his family means more to him than someone he just met.

Day after that i called wanting to apologise for over reacting and to say i felt sorry he had problems.

He didn't pick up,but MSG asking why i was calling and said that i was demanding and what do i expect him to say.

I just feel so upset that everything went down the hill,and I honestly cant stop thinking about him,i feel bad and don't know what to do.

Honestly,I'm hoping he will get over it and get back to me,or should i stop thinking that way and forget about him(if I can) ?

I don't know what to do or is there anything I can do?

Please help me?

Thank you in advance.
 
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Comedian is offline Comedian Post #2  August 26,2009, 5:33pm
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Sorry, hon, he's gone.
There's nothing you can change about what happened, or didn't happen between you two. Try to learn from this for next time.
Don't overreact!
He didn't call; it doesn't mean he is shallow, he simply didn't call back.
Wait to see how things go with the next match, and remember, that there will be other matches!
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #3  August 26,2009, 5:36pm
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Let him go. If he decides that he wants to give you a second chance, its up to him. Nothing you do can change that.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #4  August 26,2009, 5:43pm
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Just take it as a lesson learned for next time.

What has this experience told you about yourself? What will you do differently next time?
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #5  August 26,2009, 5:52pm
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Hi Tina,

Sorry to hear that things went wrong. I know it's hard, but try not to assume you know what the other persons intentions are. You could try sending him an email or message just simply saying that you regret the way things worked out and that you are sorry for making a judgement about his character. Maybe let him know that you were just feeling disappointed that he didn't come by, if that is how you felt. Maybe wish him good luck (in case you never hear from him again). It doesn't change what happened but if you hurt his feelings an apology might help. That's all you can do.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  August 26,2009, 6:20pm
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neardc wrote :
Just take it as a lesson learned for next time.

What has this experience told you about yourself? What will you do differently next time?
Very astute, agree with all you said.
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #7  August 26,2009, 6:30pm
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It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

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A good rule of thumb to follow is always give a person the benefit of the doubt until he/she proves that you shouldn't. It's easy to get excited and over eager, and that is a key set up for disappointment. But don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. So, you're not perfect. Join the rest of us. We've all been there. So, chin up and move on.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  August 26,2009, 6:47pm
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Tina2005 wrote :
I've met someone of e-harmony.First "blind" date ever.All went well and he said he wanted to see me again.

Couple of days after that we talked and he said he might come to see me that night. I have sent MSG to check with him if he was coming or not,which he didn't reply so i went out with my friend.
...

Please help me?

Thank you in advance.
So you have had one date with a guy and you are inviting him to your house. NO, NO, NO!!!
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #9  August 26,2009, 7:22pm
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Quick word of advice. When you get really angry at someone, go ahead and write a mean, nasty letter. Get it out of your system. Then delete it without sending it. Then wait 24 hrs to see how your emotions changed. You will be able to approach the situation more rationally next time. Rather than calling him shallow, you would have probably sent a non-threatening msg "what happened to you the other night? I was hoping to hear from you."
 
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butterflywhisperer is offline butterflywhisperer Post #10  August 26,2009, 7:22pm
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Yeah, move on. I also avoid texting or even e-mail when possible because so much can be misconstrued. He should have come up with a reason why he couldn't make it because that is the responsible thing to do. Important to give the benefit of the doubt and avoid jumping to conclusions, save that for married life! Seriously, and like that other person said, no invitation to your place of residence on the second date. It just feels unsafe. Yeah, write him a message but only something you truly mean, sit on it a full 24 hours before sending it in order to get the 'impulsivity' out of it, then wish him well and move on. And don't just say that, really do it. Good luck.
 
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