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Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

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gothustartus gothustartus is offline
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gothustartus is relaxing

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Timetables for not appearing overeager are all well and good, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut. If you think she'd enjoy it then just ask, you could always say it's just a social invite and the next date invitation is due in X days.
- August 26th, 2009, 12:11 pm
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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;721616 wrote :
Believe me, very, very pretty women are not all just cake-top decorations
Oh, I not just a sucker for a pretty face. But it is much worse. She teaches at a university. I went to a tech. school and did college at night. But I'll defer to your collective wisdom. I put my good jacket into the dry cleaners. I’m resigned that we'll have to meet again. It would be rude otherwise, wouldn't it. And I have the tickets. She is nice so I'm sure she'll be understanding. Thanks for your effort in offering advice.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Robert A. Heinlein
- August 27th, 2009, 08:28 am
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lonelygirl0420 lonelygirl0420 is offline
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Fleuellen wrote :
You're infereing I might not be. Goosh, that all I need. You're realy not getting it. She is very very attractive. If I have to relay on wits alone I'm sunk. It gets worse. She thinks I'm considerate. I didn't even cook my sons dinner tonight as i was late home (my middle son,17 did). And she goes to the gym at 6am. I wondering a couple of times a week of an evening.

I realise you're not taking me seriously. My sons have more experince at dating than I. I married quite young. That's another thing - my sons have been horried to anyone I like! Those with children know you can only keep kids and romantic intrests apart so long. Even tonight on the phone, I could hear her children asking who she was talking too.

Things are so much simpler when you don't have to bother with things like "second dates." Best to just put phone of hook, and shut down laptop.

Thanks for trying through.

running scared is only going to hurt her...........

i'm telling ya if you run now your going to be kicking yourself later......

if i were you i would relax enjoy the view i mean it's a second date not the altar! enjoy eachother don't be so hung up on looks......that's only half the battle or more like a third.....

and ask yourself these questions how do i feel when she's around me? does she make me laugh? how much is she on my mind? ......

have a good time and enjoy yourself don't sweat the small stuff
- August 27th, 2009, 09:56 am
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legend29 legend29 is offline
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timeless2 wrote :
great! gosh, we can't all be tens...
Oh darn it timeless2...you made me spew green tea all over my keyboard...thanx a bunch!!!!!

*still giggling in my corner*
- August 27th, 2009, 10:26 am
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legend29 legend29 is offline
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Fleuellen wrote :
Had the neat 1st date last weekend.


We met at pub late afternoon. Both on time. She turned out prettier that her photo. Dressed fantastically! We had a drink and chatted. Stayed on dinner. Talked about those things you shouldn’t; ex partners, religion, work, families, child rearing (we’ve a few each). She’s bright, funny and adventurous.


I also had tickets to see a jazz band and she agreed to accompany me. Didn’t mind taking a bus. Or having to be introduced to other folk she didn’t know. Band was great. They played late. I then had to skiff off as had commitments early morning.

But she said she like to catch up again. And I could choose what we might do. E-mailed and phoned during the week. I have some tickets to a musical comedy for Saturday (I always buy 2 tickets as there is always someone who’ll will come along)


Now what do I do? I mean if I ask her along Saturday she might think I’ve nothing better to do. Wouldn’t it be better to have decent interval. Might I just be hung on that she bright and attractive. Is that a basis for any relationship. And that she contacted me to say she had a good time. What does that say? Might she have something about being polite and communicating? I’m not kidding. She’s very attractive. Why is she acting like she is interested in me? If we go out again she might find out more about me. What’s her agenda here? What am I doing wrong?

I’d like some advice.

*With apologies to itsabeatutifulday
I understand what all your kevetching is about. I tend to be fatalistic sometimes too when things seem to good to be true....and I second-guess myself all the time. I also worry about men getting to know me more and somehow walking away from the second date (or subsequent dates) shaking their heads...mumbling incoherently, "What was I thinking?...She is such a weirdo.....what a geek!"

She seems to like you and you obviously like her, This is usually the stage where I become a bumbling, clumsy idiot, and am too nervous to relax.(Did I mention I am naturally clumsy, have two-left feet, and when nervous both feet wind up in my mouth at inopportune times?)Just relax or you will be your own worst self-fullfilling prohecy and things will go horribly wrong

Enjoy the date...if for nothing else, think of the rest of us over-analyzers with a smug smile knowing you can overcome unwarranted fears about yourself and trust when people appear to really like you .
- August 27th, 2009, 10:49 am
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butterflywhisperer butterflywhisperer is offline
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We tend to put on our best behavior on the first few dates but then the real stuff starts to come out. From what I've read of your responses, I'd be nervous, too, because she may head for the hills from the not so nice side that we've seen on the board. Or perhaps it is a defense mechanism with people you only know by the computer. Just be yourself as quickly as possible so you will both be able to ascertain whether it is a match or not. If not, it will only be a waste of her time and yours. Find someone who accepts you for the real you--and she for the real her--warts and all. I've worked with many university professors and some are nice, others not so much, so try not to let her job title be a factor.
- August 27th, 2009, 12:10 pm
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flgal flgal is offline
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DennisWisconsin wrote :
You are over analyzing... relax. Ask yourself this question: Do you want her to go with you? Yes or No? If yes, then ask her. Have fun and let the rest take care of itself.
.
.
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eHarmony Groups, join in the conversation:
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/gr...tml#post721424 (Forgiveness - Part of Dispensing with Life's Baggage?)
I agree with Dennis.
- August 27th, 2009, 02:45 pm
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OverAnalyzer OverAnalyzer is offline
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Fleuellen wrote :
Oh, I not just a sucker for a pretty face. But it is much worse. She teaches at a university. I went to a tech. school and did college at night. But I'll defer to your collective wisdom. I put my good jacket into the dry cleaners. I’m resigned that we'll have to meet again. It would be rude otherwise, wouldn't it. And I have the tickets. She is nice so I'm sure she'll be understanding. Thanks for your effort in offering advice.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Robert A. Heinlein
I have to ask...are you being serious here because I'm beginning to feel like you're messing with us.

There is no way you could have projected this attitude on your date and have her be that interested in a second. So what if you think the sun rises on her command? She still burps and poops like the rest of us. Your kids are growing and responsible and you have a date with a hot babe. Isn't that what you want? Just go with it and don't down yourself. And for heaven's sake don't ever tell her you were worried.
- August 27th, 2009, 07:32 pm
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
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Fleuellen wrote :
Oh, I not just a sucker for a pretty face. But it is much worse. She teaches at a university. I went to a tech. school and did college at night. But I'll defer to your collective wisdom. I put my good jacket into the dry cleaners. I’m resigned that we'll have to meet again. It would be rude otherwise, wouldn't it. And I have the tickets. She is nice so I'm sure she'll be understanding. Thanks for your effort in offering advice.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Robert A. Heinlein
Don't ever become a pessimist...a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.
Robert A. Heinlein
- August 27th, 2009, 07:59 pm
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Diann1950 Diann1950 is offline
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I don't get it. You had a good time, she had a good time. Are you expecting her to make the next move. I had a date just like you describe, I thought he was great, but could tell he was feeling that I was "too" something or other, educated, successful, whatever. I thought we had a good time, shared a few more emails and then he seems to have chickened out. What's a woman to do?
- August 27th, 2009, 08:33 pm
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