How useful is the advice offerred here?

It seems pretty clear to me that the characteristics of the people who post regularly on this forum are generally quite different than the general dating population. Things like a higher level of intelligence, emphasis placed on communication, a high value placed on the personality characteristics of potential partners and less on physical appearance, etc. (there are exceptions, of course).

I think the greater number of people we'll meet elsewhere, be it IRL or online, are quite different. This leads me to question of how much value is a lot of the advice given on this site. Oftentimes the advice given here seems to reflect what the posters say would appeal to them. You know, like "I'd love it if a man/woman said or did such and such with me."

So, if people here aren't typical of the general dating pool....how useful is the advice offerred here in dealing with the more typical men and women we may encounter and want to date in our lives away from this site?

Of course, getting advice here is like asking a room full of blind people to describe a sunset. None of us are very good at dating.

Of course, getting advice here is like asking a room full of blind people to describe a sunset. None of us are very good at dating.

It seems pretty clear to me that the characteristics of the people who post regularly on this forum are generally quite different than the general dating population. Things like a higher level of intelligence, emphasis placed on communication, a high value placed on the personality characteristics of potential partners and less on physical appearance, etc. (there are exceptions, of course).

Ha! Ha! My response to you JayJay is you have been reading the boards but not absorbing them.

Actually what you describe is not unusual at all and is actually probably a great description of what most women (here and out-there) are looking for.

So my good man, maybe the boards are good for the men folk. You get a rare glimpse into the female mind that many men don't usually get to see.

It seems pretty clear to me that the characteristics of the people who post regularly on this forum are generally quite different than the general dating population. Things like a higher level of intelligence, emphasis placed on communication, a high value placed on the personality characteristics of potential partners and less on physical appearance, etc. (there are exceptions, of course).

So, if people here aren't typical of the general dating pool....how useful is the advice offerred here in dealing with the more typical men and women we may encounter and want to date in our lives away from this site?

Hmmmm...an interesting perspective, but I'm not sure that I agree that the characteristics of the people here aren't representative of the general dating population. I've met many people with the characteristics of the people here out in the general dating population, but there was either something about him or about me that just didn't allow things to work out in these situations.

What I've found useful here is that my mind has been opened in many ways to thoughts that I might not have otherwise considered. I think, too, that by hearing varying viewpoints I have been able to really reconsider some of my thought processes, and I've found that while some of my thoughts have remained the same, some of my thoughts have changed. What I wanted used to be very black and white, and there were many reasons for this, but let's face it--people aren't like that. I have found now, though, that I'm much more open to new experiences and different people with a variety of characteristics. I see this as positive growth for me, because apparently hitting my head against the same brick wall for the last 20 years wasn't accomplishing anything more than damaging the wall--and giving me one huge headache.

I guess it depends on what you come here seeking on what you will take from this place. I've met some pretty great people here that I wouldn't have met otherwise, and those who have let me in have enriched me in many ways--I hope that maybe in some small way I might do the same for them. So maybe I don't need to know how to tell a freeloader to step off--I can pretty much handle that one on my own--but I've really learned a lot about people by being here. I'd like to think I've grown and that I'm a better person as a result.

Just my 2 cents....