Enough "Red Flags" - How about "GREEN FLAGS" ???


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Seneca is offline Seneca Post #1  August 25,2009, 1:21pm
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I think it's possible that all, or most, of the dating sites actually sabatoge the matchmaking process. There is so much dating "advice" that discusses "warning signs" and "red flags" that I think many people get conditioned to look at a profile with the intention of "discovering" the reason to stay away from the person.... and few people look for a reason to think well of the poster.

I also think the overwhelming body of such negative "advice" is aimed at warning women, which turns all men into de facto monsters. Personally, I have met more than a couple women who were so paranoid (or who feigned such) that I ended matters with all haste. I've also met women whom someone should have warned me about.

It might be kinda helpful if people could come up with lists of "green flags" that they may have discovered. I don't mean "negatives" like "he/she doesn't talk about sex, or their ex, on the first date", but positive things like "easy to talk to" or something like that.
I'm not sure, but it seems like people who describe themselves as "liking to learn things" have often been among the nicest people I, personally, have met. They seem to be interesting and interested, and confident without being full of themselves. So I pay extra attention when I see that in a profile.

I'm sure others might have some "positive" things they look for too, so here's an invitation to everyone to share them with everyone. Maybe it will help someone, or a lot of "someones".

Last edited by Seneca; August 25,2009 at 1:24pm.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #2  August 25,2009, 1:45pm
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eye contact when you talk
gentle touch
makes you laugh/shared sense of humor
shared interests and/or willing to participate at least sometimes on a few
willing to compromise
thoughtful
romantic
kind in words and actions "just because"
takes concern in how you feel or what you want
makes you a priority in their life
similar values and/or mutual respect of differences
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #3  August 25,2009, 1:54pm
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great idea
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #4  August 25,2009, 1:59pm
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bravethestorm wrote :
eye contact when you talk
gentle touch
makes you laugh/shared sense of humor
shared interests and/or willing to participate at least sometimes on a few
willing to compromise
thoughtful
romantic
kind in words and actions "just because"
takes concern in how you feel or what you want
makes you a priority in their life
similar values and/or mutual respect of differences
The above are all my green flags and I have one more:

~ Treats others with respect. I look especially to see how he treats people in customer service roles.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #5  August 25,2009, 2:02pm
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laughs
smiles
is NICE
and, here's the kicker,
says Thank you (and means it) for taking them out you'd be surprised to know how many women I've met simply don't say thank you after you've taken them out on a date.
 
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graceventually is offline graceventually Post #6  August 25,2009, 2:10pm
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meri75 wrote :
The above are all my green flags and I have one more:

~ Treats others with respect. I look especially to see how he treats people in customer service roles.
So true! I remember being very favorably impressed on my second date with my now-fiance, when there was a problem with his order and he handled it very quietly though directly. It was a small thing, but it's an insight into flexibility, ability to handle disappointment, conflict resolution skills.....small things reveal character!
 
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flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #7  August 25,2009, 2:28pm
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Green Flags:

Behaves in accordance with the golden rule.

Does the right thing, not out of fear of consequences or because he is court order to do so, but because it's right.

Reasonable.

Ambitious in deed.

Acts responsibly.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #8  August 25,2009, 2:37pm
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bravethestorm wrote :
eye contact when you talk
gentle touch
makes you laugh/shared sense of humor
shared interests and/or willing to participate at least sometimes on a few
willing to compromise
thoughtful
romantic
kind in words and actions "just because"
takes concern in how you feel or what you want
makes you a priority in their life
similar values and/or mutual respect of differences
Great list. Also, wants to solve problems in the relationship so that both partners win.
 
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Seneca is offline Seneca Post #9  August 25,2009, 2:42pm
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All the things listed so far are probably very good things to note once two people have actually met and begun dating. They make good sense to me, anyway.

But in my OP I was thinking more about things one would see in someone's profile that would be "green flags" encouraging further investigation.

Anyone with suggestions there ?
 
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flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #10  August 25,2009, 2:50pm
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Seneca wrote :
All the things listed so far are probably very good things to note once two people have actually met and begun dating. They make good sense to me, anyway.

But in my OP I was thinking more about things one would see in someone's profile that would be "green flags" encouraging further investigation.

Anyone with suggestions there ?
Involvement in wholesome activities, perhaps charitable. (Sounds lame, lol, but that would be a green flag for me)

Conveys he appreciates the earth on which we live.

Cultural pursuits.
 
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