Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Thisonegoesto11's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

I am sure this topic has come up before, but I am new to the boards and wanted to ask how long you should wait to talk about religious beliefs? I grew up is a very religious family and have some strong opinions on organized religion (most of them on the negative side). I am a spiritual person, but do not belong to a church. I cannot see myself getting serious with someone who is heavily involved in a church. Religion is such a personal subject, I just wanted advise on when to bring up the subject.
- August 25th, 2009, 02:46 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
tweet37's Avatar

tweet37 has all the tools and can.....satisfy.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 3,230

See profile

Mention in your profile that you're not interested in any bible thumpers. That should weed them out.
- August 25th, 2009, 03:04 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
notyet's Avatar

notyet it's alive!

Virtuoso

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 3,218

See profile

it has- but that's ok.

i put my religious beliefs right up front in my profile. they do not comprise the entirety of the profile but they do get noticed there. i find that weeds out people that feel squeamish around me.

i also scan matched profiles for a few things- religious compatibility being one of those things.

good luck!
- August 25th, 2009, 03:08 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
churumbeque's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 171

See profile

notyet wrote :
it has- but that's ok.

i put my religious beliefs right up front in my profile. they do not comprise the entirety of the profile but they do get noticed there. i find that weeds out people that feel squeamish around me.

i also scan matched profiles for a few things- religious compatibility being one of those things.

good luck!
I might just have to start going to church if there's hot cowboys like you there.
- August 25th, 2009, 03:10 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
PR_Princess's Avatar

PR_Princess Eid Mubarak!

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 443

See profile

This is a bit of a sticky subject only because even if you are religious or just spiritual and mention it in the profile...it is purely subjective. I consider myself moderate but someone else might find me too conservative or not religious enough.
I like this question because I have toned down my own profile but now I am thinking I should give specific examples of what I mean by moderate at the end of the profile. Hmmm...something to think about
- August 25th, 2009, 03:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

notyet's Avatar

notyet it's alive!

Virtuoso

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 3,218

See profile

churumbeque wrote :
I might just have to start going to church if there's hot cowboys like you there.
;-)

mwah!

<):-X
- August 25th, 2009, 05:09 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
wordwoman's Avatar

wordwoman is in contemplation

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 221

See profile

I am sure this topic has come up before, but I am new to the boards and wanted to ask how long you should wait to talk about religious beliefs? I grew up is a very religious family and have some strong opinions on organized religion (most of them on the negative side). I am a spiritual person, but do not belong to a church. I cannot see myself getting serious with someone who is heavily involved in a church. Religion is such a personal subject, I just wanted advise on when to bring up the subject.
People who are heavily involved in their religion usually aren't too interested in folks who select "spiritual but not religious" on their profiles, thus if you have selected this option, many of them will close you before you have to say anything about your beliefs about organized religion.

In addition, the heavily involved types generally make mention of their church-going ways somewhere in their own profiles, since most are searching for someone of similiar interest level, thus you'll have a chance to close them out without, again, having to say anything about your beliefs.

In my experience, one of these two options usually does the trick when it comes to narrowing the field on religion and spirtuality.

Of course, if these two safeguards don't work and you find yourself "talking" with someone who is totally into organized religion, you should speak up during one of the early discussions and put this topic on the table.
- August 25th, 2009, 05:09 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Diann1950's Avatar

Diann1950 Back to work for the week

Pacesetter

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 269

See profile

I have said this before, but it is still true. It depends a lot on your age and whether you are planning on starting a family. I am fairly religious, but since my kids are all raised there wouldn't be any conflicts on that issue. As long as your partner does not actively dispute your beliefs and practices go for it.
- August 25th, 2009, 05:40 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
Jacquiem's Avatar

Jacquiem realizes that life deserves a full-throttle effort. Get out of her way!!!

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 502

See profile

I would agree that being honest and upfront about your religious beliefs immediately, in your profile is best.

I would also add that you avoid using terms like "bible thumpers" or "holy rollers" to describe religious people you're not interested in, or "Godless heathens" or "carnal" for people who are not as religious as you who you are not interested in. People's faith is a serious subject, and just because you don't agree with what they believe, you don't have to be negative about it. It's a preference just like everything else.
- August 25th, 2009, 06:07 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Honestgetsdishonest's Avatar

Honestgetsdishonest hopes for better matches!!!

Newbie

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 29

See profile

I am sure this topic has come up before, but I am new to the boards and wanted to ask how long you should wait to talk about religious beliefs? I grew up is a very religious family and have some strong opinions on organized religion (most of them on the negative side). I am a spiritual person, but do not belong to a church. I cannot see myself getting serious with someone who is heavily involved in a church. Religion is such a personal subject, I just wanted advise on when to bring up the subject.

Ask the guy about his faith as soon as possible. This is a HUGE closer for me. If a woman is agnostic, I would not date her. Same, women who are agnostic SAY IT ON THEIR PROFILE, men who are Christian say so on theirs.

So, if it is a big issue for you as it is for me, talk about it right away.

Make it clear in your profile, VERY CLEAR.
- August 25th, 2009, 06:22 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What Religion Are You, Really? Wonderwoman402 Religion & Spirituality 41 October 21st, 2009 10:36 pm
Would you convert to a new religion for love? eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Religion & Spirituality 63 October 6th, 2009 01:44 am
Is religion a barrier to relationships? JDavid Relationships 33 June 30th, 2009 02:53 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks Nightling...you deserve the best!” – indigirl1975

Join the “I want to thank my EX” discussion

“Wine tasting! Three guys and thirteen women! and I was the only single one ” – PY_2

Join the “Monday November 23rd weekend & date roundup!” discussion

“That was interesting reading, if nothing else. I've never understood the vampire craze, but the author's rendering of vampire popularity through history is well done. I'm not sure I agree with the ... ” – lindseyk

Join the “Esquire says: vampire moves are successful because women want to.....” discussion

“@ D-Lion aka frog prince ok I'm confused Deeeeeeeeee.. your 'typical' self possessed strong woman would not hesitate to suggest paying her own way or offering suggestions on where to meet..... ... ” – nightling

Join the “I'm attracted to independent women” discussion

“I just included that on my profile today as my account expires tomorrow. I re-subscribed three months ago because of a match I received as a non-paying member. When I re-joined I initiated ... ” – k9force

Join the “What am I doing wrong?” discussion

“Hey folks, Our team needs to do some work on our database tonight which will require the Advice site to be down for approximately one hour or less beginning at midnight tonight. Apologies for any ... ” – eHA_Admin_Lori

Join the “***SITE OUTAGE TONIGHT, MONDAY 11/23***” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:28 pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0