No second date yet.......I feel so stupid.


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #1  August 25,2009, 10:07am
itsabeatutifu…'s Avatar

Discouraged.....

Pacesetter

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 314

See profile

Had the perfect 1st date on Friday. We were sharing internet dating stories, I (opened mouth inserted foot) by telling him about one guy who considered us a couple after our first meeting and when I broke the second date accused me of breaking up with him…stupid thing to share (understatement). Did this give him the wrong impression about me and asking for a second date? Because usually after good date, guys ask for the 2nd date before the date ends. This time it didn’t happen.

Sat AM I sent a short email saying thanks, had a great time and looking forward to getting to know you, he responded positively, said he would call early this week and “maybe” we could plan another evening out. Did my stupid talk about the other guy be why he hasn’t asked me out or is he just not that into me? How many days before I can assume he's not going to call? thanks
Last edited by itsabeatutifulday; August 25,2009 at 10:10am.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  August 25,2009, 10:12am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

First, understand that there is guy time and girl time and they are not the same.

Second, if you are really interested in another date with him you could ask him out.

Third, I would not think that what you said would have a bearing on him wanting to see you again. At least it would not be a reason for me not wanting a second date.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  August 25,2009, 10:38am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,747

See profile

First of all you should never read too much into a date that you think is going well. The thing is that if the person you are with is outgoing, friendly, or otherwise socially polished you are going to have a good time with them even if they are not that into you. So a fun date by itself with someone like that is not necessarily an indication of interest.

Secondly, different people function differently. There is no rule that the guy will ask you out on a second date at the end of the first. Some guys do, some guys like to go home and send you an e-mail or a text or call you or even wait to hear from you on the following day or so to test the waters and see what you thought of them before asking you out again.

Third, since you don't really know him and don't really know how busy he is and what's going on in his life, it's hard to judge whether he is interested or not really. It's simply too early. If he does not contact you when he said he will to make more specific plans, you'll know soon enough. In the meantime get out and date others. If it's meant to be, it will be.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  August 25,2009, 11:53am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

itsabeatutifulday wrote :
Had the perfect 1st date on Friday. We were sharing internet dating stories, I (opened mouth inserted foot) by telling him about one guy who considered us a couple after our first meeting and when I broke the second date accused me of breaking up with him…stupid thing to share (understatement). Did this give him the wrong impression about me and asking for a second date?
I don't think it's took likely that this would have put him off. He may very well still call you for a 2nd date. If he doesn't....that doesn't mean it was because you told him this one little story.
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #5  August 25,2009, 2:54pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

I don't think that you should feel stupid at all. You were sharing stories about internet dating--that's it. I don't think this one story will have anything to do with whether or not he chooses to ask you out again.

Try not to read too much into the fact that he has not contacted you yet. He could be busy with his own life, and it's possible that he is casually dating others, as well (which you should also be doing). If for some reason he doesn't contact you, there's no reason to believe that you did anything wrong.

Also, I second the the other posters who have made the suggestion that you call him and set up another date if you would like to see him again. There's nothing wrong with doing that if it's what you want to do. Sometimes that step makes the difference between something and nothing happening.

Good luck to you!
 
  Reply With Quote
saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #6  August 25,2009, 3:57pm
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,308

See profile

You shouldn't feel silly at all. We all have awkward moments, trust me.

Do something -- anything -- that keeps you from obsessing over whether he's going to call. It doesn't matter what it is, but don't sit around, checking your email or phone, expecting his response.

When I'm wondering if she'll call back, I send ONE ONE ONE tickler email or phone call/txt, and then I walk away and forget about it.

Maybe he'll call if you do that.

Maybe he won't. But do other things besides worry over it.

- Saul
 
  Reply With Quote
ZisaGirl is offline ZisaGirl Post #7  August 25,2009, 4:00pm
ZisaGirl's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 186

See profile

I always do that to myself too: If the guy doesn't call, or set a date, immediately, I start to overanalyze every single thing I said, and mentally smack myself, saying, oh, THAT'S why he didn't call.

What you told him was a funny story, told in the context of internet dating stories, and should have zero bearing on whether or not he calls you.

Yes, there is guy time, and there is girl time.

One thing I'm learning lately is, a lot of guys simply don't call for several days. So I've learned to relax about it. I bet your guy will call.

I had an amazing 5-hour first meeting date with a guy several months ago. At the end of the date, I handed him my business card, which has my cell, and said, "Call me!", and he said, "I will!". I didn't hear from him for 5 agonizing days. I analyzed every single thing I said...oh my gosh, why did I tell him that story? Why did I share THAT? When he finally called, and we finally began dating (dated about a month), I asked him why it took him so long. He said that he was SO crazy about me, he a) didn't want to appear overeager, and b) wanted to assess his feelings, and make sure he really felt them, before jumping in. He felt that we had SUCH a connection, that he wanted to let it simmer for a few days.

Your guy could be doing just that.
 
  Reply With Quote
Honestgetsdishonest is offline Honestgetsdishonest Post #8  August 25,2009, 4:10pm
Honestgetsdis…'s Avatar

hopes for better matches!!!

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Houston

Posts: 29

See profile

itsabeatutifulday wrote :
Had the perfect 1st date on Friday. We were sharing internet dating stories, I (opened mouth inserted foot) by telling him about one guy who considered us a couple after our first meeting and when I broke the second date accused me of breaking up with him…stupid thing to share (understatement). Did this give him the wrong impression about me and asking for a second date? Because usually after good date, guys ask for the 2nd date before the date ends. This time it didn’t happen.

Sat AM I sent a short email saying thanks, had a great time and looking forward to getting to know you, he responded positively, said he would call early this week and “maybe” we could plan another evening out. Did my stupid talk about the other guy be why he hasn’t asked me out or is he just not that into me? How many days before I can assume he's not going to call? thanks
If you are right for each-other, it does not matter what you say.

I dated a girl for over a year and we loved each-other very much. I remember our first date very well. We just clicked. We said a lot of stupid things to each-other. Nothing matters when it is meant to be.

So, do not worry about what you said. NOT A BIG DEAL!

Now if you said, "I used to be a man" or "My psychiatrist has me on heavy medication, so I probably won't kill you today, or "Let's get married right now"


That would be stupid.

If the little thing you said threw this guy out, ALL THE BETTER! Now you know you two would have never made it as a couple. Better to know sooner than later.

DON'T CONTACT HIM AGAIN.

If he wants you , he needs to try A LOT harder.
 
  Reply With Quote
shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #9  August 25,2009, 6:50pm
shoopthedoop's Avatar

is happy with the way things are going!

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Edmonton

Posts: 915

See profile

itsabeatutifulday wrote :
Sat AM I sent a short email saying thanks, had a great time and looking forward to getting to know you, he responded positively, said he would call early this week and “maybe” we could plan another evening out. Did my stupid talk about the other guy be why he hasn’t asked me out or is he just not that into me? How many days before I can assume he's not going to call? thanks
He said he would call early this week and you post on Tuesday morning wondering why he hasn't called yet?

Don't pressure him. Wait until he has gone past the point of when he said he would call before wondering why he hasn't called...
 
  Reply With Quote
EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #10  August 25,2009, 7:19pm
EMTZ's Avatar

has quickly adapted back to her lazy lifestyle

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 2,553

See profile

Honestgetsdishonest wrote :
If you are right for each-other, it does not matter what you say.
"BTW, I poisoned my ex husband."
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« How long do you think it takes to be ready? | Dating | What's the nicest way to dump someone? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
How do you nicely tell a guy you are not interested in a second date? sweetgirl78 Dating 46 May 29,2011 4:11pm
Fear of Date? passat1 Dating 12 May 2,2011 8:13am
Texting other women on a date Mystified101 Ask a Dating Expert 77 April 10,2011 5:11pm
I feel like a spinless simp SpyderRyder65 Dating 34 July 14,2010 7:28am
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 12,2009 10:29pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I do still eat and drink the things I shouldn't sometimes. I'd stop if I needed an Epi-Pen but none of my allergies are severe enough for that yet. I feel for you, Legend.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“No, this is the ONE, with the Domestic Man among men that I hunger for... New Twist Like the great philosopher Dr. Phil says, "When momma's happy, everyone's happy".” –  tweet37

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I think you are projecting that if you are the one paying for the first few dates that the woman is a "pay to play" woman and if you were to marry her she would be so irresponsible that you'd be ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“That's disappointing. You've gotten a lot of tips about changing your settings and I hope it pays off when you do.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“ Happy Faraday, Birth... um I mean... Happy Birthday, Fara. I blame harnomygirl... typing her name messes with your mind.” –  dmi

Join the “The End Maybe Coming” discussion

“I thought she took the safer route and met him here first. Now that she knows he's fun, they'll throw caution to the wind, but gently.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“ I wouldn't be so sure he was ready (the way you mean it) with this new girl. He was calling you testing the waters while seeing her, right? This may just be how he is in relationships- this may ... ” –  FairOne

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:58am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0