pugetsound80 is offline pugetsound80 Post #1  August 25,2009, 8:03am
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I really need some advice as I swear I have the worst luck. I have been dating what thought was a great girl for two months now. Before we had met I had booked a trip to Vegas with a close friend of mine then out of a crazy coincidence she was going to be in Vegas the same time I was with some of her girl friends. We were only going to be there one night there at the same time however and decided that me and my friend should meet up with them for that night. The plan was to call them at 9pm when we got out of the show we had tickets to. Come 9 I call her, no answer. Text when I get back to the hotel, no reply. I’ll be the first to admit I was really bummed. The next morning she calls me like nothing had happened so I had to ask her what happened to them last night. Her answer was that they started drinking immediately and passed out asleep… who passes out before 9pm in Vegas? I had to leave that morning so we didn’t talk till she got back. I asked her how her trip was and she immediately starts telling me their wild stories from the weekend which basically consisted of her telling me how her friends hooked up every single night with guys and brought them back to their room. I was shocked to hear this as I thought she was not the type of girl who would have friends who would slut it up in Vegas for a weekend and I have a hard time believing that if her friends where doing all this then there is no way that she wasn’t messing around either. Now I know we have only been dating for two months and that we haven’t had the are we dating exclusively talk. But out of respect for her ,and every girl I have dated in the past, I would never sleep with another women or date anyone else at the same timed as I’m dating another girl. Maybe I’m the only one who thinks this way or should just take it in stride as we are only dating but there is no way I would have done this to anyone I’m dating. What would you do? Give her the benefit of the doubt, shrug it off and keep going, or take this as a sign of worse things that could happen down the road??

I did finally confront her about this and basically said that I’m shocked that she told me these stories and stated that I would not have done that to her even though I know we are just dating. Her only answer was that she likes me and doesn’t feel differently about me and that ‘it was just Vegas’. It makes me wonder what she was really doing when we were supposed to be hanging out. I don’t really buy this.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  August 25,2009, 10:25am
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I think she has given you the answer of what she was doing in Vegas. It also seems that you and she have different lifestyle and values which are not compatible. My advice would be to lose her and find a girl who has similar values.

Dating non-exclusively does not mean going to Vegas (or even staying in your own town) and picking up guys for a one night stand. It just means that you may be DATING more than one person at a time. Until you are in an exclusive monogamous relationship engaging in sex is just plain risky behavior.
 
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Ms666 is offline Ms666 Post #3  August 25,2009, 10:52am
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This why what happens in Vegas, is supposed to...

and she's a dummy for opening her mouth so she probably deserves to be dumped.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  August 25,2009, 11:04am
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Sounds like you and her have vastly different values and lifestyle. That does not bode well for a long term relationship. Perhaps it's time for you to take a good look at her not just in light of the Vegas issue, but in general - what she does, what kind of people she hangs out with and what do they do and figure out whether you really want to continue with this.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #5  August 25,2009, 11:17am
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Ms666 wrote :

This why what happens in Vegas, is supposed to...

and she's a dummy for opening her mouth so she probably deserves to be dumped.
I was in North Las Vegas most of last week.

I saw a T shirt for sale in Indian Springs that said:

"What happens in Vegas stays -


What happened???!!"
 
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Raw_Truth is online now Raw_Truth Post #6  August 25,2009, 11:29am
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If I were you, it'd be over with no questions asked. She plainly lied, with the added and insulting implication that you're to believe she simply sat there like a bump on a log while the rest of her posse was out sluttin' it up.

I have a rather harsh probationary period, and something like this within two months would be an absolute deal breaker without a profoundly moving story of some sort.

My hunch is that she did cheat to some extent; at least was hanging on some guy for the night with perhaps some second or third base action.

In these situations, the easiest explanation is usually the correct one. You were newly dating and in a mega party spot. She did not return your call till the next day. Even if she was just playing slots and video games, you weren't important enough to her. Game over.
 
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Raw_Truth is online now Raw_Truth Post #7  August 25,2009, 11:35am
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You have all the facts you need IMO. You two were in a mega party spot for the night yet she didn't think enough of you to even return your call till the next day.

Given the haphazard way she described the evening's events I get the vibe that maybe she doesn't think you guys are exclusively dating/BF&GF, and was likely partaking to some extent the same activities as her friends.

Either way, game over.
Last edited by Raw_Truth; August 25,2009 at 11:37am.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #8  August 25,2009, 3:36pm
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Yeah...She messed around with other guys. Obvious. That's OK. She's not your G/F and can do what she wants. And you can too. And you're totally justified for dumping her. When you "date" someone, it's nice to think that they like you enough to think and lust only of you. Sometimes that happens, sometimes not.
As for 'Vegas. I go there about 6-7 times a year to meet with some of my 'Vegas-based customers. I stay in the Strip casino-hotels because they're so inexpensive. Every night, without fail, I see bachelorette parties where the bride-to-be is hooking up with and taking a strange guy to her room. There's a reason why the "what happens in 'Vegas" saying exists.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #9  August 25,2009, 3:46pm
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pugetsound80 wrote :
Her only answer was that she likes me and doesn’t feel differently about me and that ‘it was just Vegas’. It makes me wonder what she was really doing when we were supposed to be hanging out. I don’t really buy this.
So you can only imagine how much fun it is to LIVE in Vegas, a town where accountability gets proudly thrown out the window.

Look, wherever people vacation, their morals are their morals and they don't change. If she sleeps around when she can claim the "It's Vegas!" excuse, then it's something she wants to do when she's back home as well. She just feels free to do so because of the environment.

I agree with the other posts saying your morals are obviously too different. Though you two didn't have any agreement as far as exclusivity, it's still just trashy, not to mention inconsiderate since you had plans to see each other that night.

I'd keep looking elsewhere.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #10  August 25,2009, 3:56pm
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chawks64 wrote :
So you can only imagine how much fun it is to LIVE in Vegas, a town where accountability gets proudly thrown out the window.

Presumably, mostly by TOURISTS.

I just returned from there, and the Las Vegas I know is one of ordinary normal people living ordinary suburban and sometimes rural lives; I never went near the "strip" or Fremont Street at all.

To me it is just another city with its own attractions such as the Speedway, Mt Charleston, the Hoover Dam and other places to go. Only rarely would I ever go downtown, or the strip/Fremont maybe to catch a must-see show or dinner at Maggiano's or a 5 star place.

I found the weather sublime because of the thundershowers which cooled things down...
 
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