Ex-nun in the dating pool and needs some water wings!!!


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Cimaronna is offline Cimaronna Post #11  August 25,2009, 9:58am
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I agree with what everyone has said so far. I'd like to add that no matter how experienced you are (or aren't), when you have a significant other, you each have to get to know what stimulates the other. Everyone is different. It takes a true connection and willingness to please one another regardless of experience.

Please don't close your matches based on a single word. Check them out, get to know them, and when the right one comes along...go for it!
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #12  August 25,2009, 10:35am
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waypoint_finder wrote :
When your matches ask you about your employment history, just tell them its nun of their business
No way did you write that... lol

Ann... You've taken some bold steps to get where you are. I'll tell you the advice my mother told me when I first started dating: "Go out, have fun, and let the rest take care of itself..."

In the mean time you might as well check out our eHarmony Advice Group, We have some great discussions going on right now on dating Christians, on going poll concerning health care in this country, etc... Come and visit us.
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/gr...s-and-science/
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #13  August 25,2009, 11:32am
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laugh saucily! a person's just got to when they think about it. also, stories of catholic life and sex ed can just be such a riot; might as well share.

my boyfriend's sex ed was two hours of listening to a vague lecture by a priest when he was 12, with his dad sitting next to him. i don't think he learned anything about the birds and the bees until his junior year in college.

i myself did a postulancy in days gone by. when people ask for my views on the hot topics - oh, they so don't know what they've gotten themselves into! i will talk to them about things they've never heard of... like the condoms with holes in them that catholic hospitals use when they need a sperm sample.

ohmigosh! it really is funny stuff.
 
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Johnnyguitarman is offline Johnnyguitarman Post #14  August 25,2009, 11:44am
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I think the real issue you have here is not that you were a nun or are "inexperienced" but those factors are making you lack confidence compared to "experienced" men. I would say looking at your picture you are an attractive lady with a nice smile. I would just like to say, if I was still single (recently glad to say, I have just started a relationship), your career as a nun and what you call "lack of experience" would not put me off at all.

The best thing you can do is to chat with men you like on line and if there is someone you really hit it off with via e-mail, IM etc then arrange to meet them and then talk about your previous career. For the right man, this would not be an issue at all and they might even value you even more for it!

Good luck, and have fun!
 
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graceventually is offline graceventually Post #15  August 25,2009, 12:22pm
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While I can appreciate what the OP said about not wanting to frighten guys off by telling them about having been a nun, I also think that any SO is going to want to know something that is that big a part of your past. Believe me, I know the reaction you're afraid you'll get - the look of surprise, then the "I haven't used any bad words, have I?" followed by an evening with someone who seems very nice but slightly uncomfortable. Or worse, an evening with someone who seems to have decided to use the occasion to score brownie points with some more religious relative, i.e., "I'm gonna tell Mom I went out with a..." well, an "ex-nun" in your case; "a United Methodist minister" in mine. I'm afraid I endured a few of those on the way to true love. My situation was somewhat different in that I'd already ended a marriage before going into the ministry, so I didn't have the "inexperience" part of the quotient, and I did not feel I could put off mentioning that I was a minister since "so, what do you do?" tends to come up very, very early in dating! So you learn to deal with it....and to deal with the fact that not every guy is going to handle it well. On the other hand, for some of them, it won't be as big a deal as it is to you. Eventually though, you're going to have to share it with someone you've been seeing for a little while. It was a big part of who you are, and we all want to be loved for who we are, right?
 
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wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #16  August 25,2009, 5:50pm
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I'm with everyone else in saying: stop closing matches based on MHCS. Now, do close them if you don't like anything selected, but don't get all caught up with the mere mention of passion and sex.

Get to GC, have some discussions, see if you want to talk on the phone or meet in person, then have some dates and go from there. At some point, you'll have to talk about your past, but you've got to get out the gate first, so take it one step at a time. Why worry about step 10, when you haven't even got to step 1?

And, for all you know, some of those guys you've closed could have been ex-priests and would have understood your ex-nun status just fine.

BTW, the first time two people are together intimately, both of them are inexperienced with each other. If you're with the right guy, the two of you will work it out.
 
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DreamingOfJustice is offline DreamingOfJustice Post #17  August 25,2009, 6:03pm
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Excellent response!

Everyone here's really been spot on.


Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
A lack of experience makes you neither not passionate nor uninterested.

Stop closing your matches because of a MHCS. Once you get to the point where it is appropriate to be discussing these subjects then you can see what his views are and then both decide if you should go farther forward with building a relationship.
 
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ann_the_bold is offline ann_the_bold Post #18  September 7,2009, 9:51pm
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Thanks for the insights. It blows my mind that y'all have more faith in my than I do in myself!!

Here's to hoping...and praying...my Mr. Right will cross my path, and soon!
 
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