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boccabum boccabum is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
I haven't heard of a couple breaking up over this, but I can tell you that if I read in a guy's profile that he works out 1 - 2 hours EVERY DAY I am a little turned off and not all that likely to meet him.

Why? Because that amount of exercise is excessive and far beyond what is needed for a healthy lifestyle. It sounds obsessive and it sounds like he'll have little time left for dating or anything else.

I once was on the verge of setting up a meeting with a guy from a different online dating site. He was a college professor and worked about 5 minutes from my office, which is downtown and near several restaurants & bars where we could meet. When telling me his availability on a Friday night he mentioned that he'd be done working at 5:00 (same time as me), but would work out afterward and could meet me at 7:00. Excuse me?!? Make me wait two hours for our date/meet because he can't skip one lousy workout?!?

We never did meet, and I'm not sad.
I hear 'ya sista. If I ask a woman out and she can't meet me on MY schedule because of previously made commitments, then excuse me! She's out!

Sorry wonderwoman...I'm in a particularly snarky mood today and can't control my sarcasm. :0)
- August 24th, 2009, 07:57 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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D_Lion wrote :

Seems like your friend’s girlfriend has a jealousy problem – maybe she should work on that?
Yes, I think DL's right. Her reaction seems to me to be due to insecurities on her end.
- August 24th, 2009, 08:05 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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ScottK wrote :
Wow, you get upset over him wanting to meet up 2 hours after work and workout?
...
Again, he should have just skipped the workout for the night, but on the other hand, you being offended about meeting 2 hours after work? Thats just as bad.
Especially since I imagine you would want to go home and shower/dress up as well, right?
You missed something, made some wrong assumptions, and I left out some details. He works 5 minutes from my office. We were going to meet at a restaurant/bar within a few blocks of my office. He was a university professor, and was going to work out at the campus fitness center, very close to his office. I was NOT going to go home, shower, and dress up.... I wear dresses/skirts and heels to work and would have spent about 3 minutes freshening up in the restroom at work. I can't imagine he gets so stinky at his professor job that he has to change clothes and shower again at 5:00 if he showered that morning.

So... basically he was asking me to cool my heels for 2 hours after work so he could work out. Definitely Not Cool.
- August 24th, 2009, 08:06 pm
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melman melman is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
When telling me his availability on a Friday night he mentioned that he'd be done working at 5:00 (same time as me), but would work out afterward and could meet me at 7:00. Excuse me?!? Make me wait two hours for our date/meet because he can't skip one lousy workout?!?

We never did meet, and I'm not sad.
As I have tried to write in other threads, I don't expect match meetings (aka blind dates) to turn my schedule upside down.

Did you tell him that you'd have to sit around and twiddle your thumbs from 5 till 7? Or did you expect him to read your mind about that? Or did you simply throw a hissy fit about it?

If you calmly proposed to meet at 5 anyway, and he refused without giving a good reason or explaining a prior commitment, then you'd have firm ground to stand on.

But if not, then I don't see where he was in the wrong at all.
- August 24th, 2009, 08:10 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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melman wrote :
...Did you tell him that you'd have to sit around and twiddle your thumbs from 5 till 7? Or did you expect him to read your mind about that? Or did you simply throw a hissy fit about it?
You obviously do not know me at all or you would know that I have never had a "hissy fit" about anything. It is not my nature nor my style.

This "almost date" was about a year ago so I don't remember exactly what happened, though I do recall telling him I would be available to meet at 5:15 - 5:30, and then he said he was going to work out and would be ready to meet at 7:00. This was all via e-mail exchanges. Communication fizzled after that and we never ended up meeting.

A workout can easily be rescheduled on your own time, or it doesn't hurt to skip one now and then in order to meet someone you're interested in. To be that inflexible about it when trying to set up a date is a huge turn off, to me at least.

And yes, I work out, too. I do so over my lunch hour. Unless I have plans with someone, then I do it later or skip that day. I don't consider that turning my schedule upside down. It's called being flexible and accommodating others because you can.
- August 24th, 2009, 10:39 pm
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He could have made a commitment to a workout partner, or to a personal trainer, or to attend a fitness class. If you would have reiterated your desire to meet at 5:15, you would have found out if there was a commitment to someone else, or if he just really wanted to work out. I would say that you dropped the ball on this one.

You've written that you went a year on eH with no meetings. But geez, if you were getting this close, and didn't close the deal on at least one meeting... I'm just not sure what to make of that.
- August 24th, 2009, 10:52 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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This was not an eHarmony match. As I said earlier, it was from another site, where I have had plenty of luck getting dates.

There were other things about this guy's communication style that did not sit well with me. If he had a commitment with someone else, he should have said so. He did not. The impression he left was that he placed more importance on going to this workout than he did in meeting me. That is not a favorable first impression to make.

Like I said, I did not cry any tears over this one. If the guy was that inflexible about his workout schedule, we probably wouldn't have ended up being a great match to begin with.
- August 24th, 2009, 11:01 pm
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In 2nd grade, I had a girl break up with me because I didn't know who starred in the "Movie of the Week" the previous night on TV ...ever since then, I stopped trying to figure women out. ;-)
- August 25th, 2009, 04:53 am
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Mokkesofie Mokkesofie is online now
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Skyking6976 wrote :
Anyone here ever heard of a couple breaking up over something like that? I thought my friend's girlfriend would be happy for us. You know something like, "I'm so proud of you two."
She must feel very inferior to him now that he's in a good shape and it's eating her up inside. Instead she should rise to the challenge and get in shape herself as well. Not only will it have an impact on her health and body but also on how she feels mentally.
- August 25th, 2009, 06:18 am
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melman wrote :
As I have tried to write in other threads, I don't expect match meetings (aka blind dates) to turn my schedule upside down.
I personally think that people who consider meeting people online as "blind dates" are not taking out the time to get to know the person before setting up that first date. I have NEVER thought or considered or treated women that I have met online as a "blind date" because I have always taken the time to get to know the person first. It has always been my experience that when the conversation online goes well, it goes just as well if not better when we have that first date. Sometimes it's like meeting a friend that you have been dieing to get together with. Sure you still have the first date jitters but it only last the first 5 min. A true "blind date" you hardly know anything about them, not true with online dating if you take the time to get to know them before. If your going on a online date "totally blind" then you did not take the time to get to know them.
- August 25th, 2009, 02:19 pm
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