Seneca is offline Seneca Post #1  August 23,2009, 10:57am
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Somewhere in my formative (or perhaps DEformative) years it was impressed on my psyche that the FIRST kiss is always supposed to be intitiated by the female. After that the male is free to initiate kisses.

Now I'm a friendly person and certainly not a "touch-me-not". I will "high-5" a woman and shake their hand and pat their shoulder or teasingly bump them aside with a hip or share a friendly hug. And no one ever accused me of being "frigid". But that "rule" about the first kiss seems to be imbedded in my subconsious. Probably with fewer than four people have I initiated a "first kiss" and a couple of those looked at me and said "It's about time!" (making me feel stupid). Yet I still stumble with that.

So after that long oration - my question is How do Y'All feel about intitiating the first kiss? Is the "ladies first" rule valid? Is there some other rule ? Are there NO rules?

All opinions welcome !
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  August 23,2009, 11:02am
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Seneca wrote :
Somewhere in my formative (or perhaps DEformative) years it was impressed on my psyche that the FIRST kiss is always supposed to be intitiated by the female. After that the male is free to initiate kisses.

Now I'm a friendly person and certainly not a "touch-me-not". I will "high-5" a woman and shake their hand and pat their shoulder or teasingly bump them aside with a hip or share a friendly hug. And no one ever accused me of being "frigid". But that "rule" about the first kiss seems to be imbedded in my subconsious. Probably with fewer than four people have I initiated a "first kiss" and a couple of those looked at me and said "It's about time!" (making me feel stupid). Yet I still stumble with that.

So after that long oration - my question is How do Y'All feel about intitiating the first kiss? Is the "ladies first" rule valid? Is there some other rule ? Are there NO rules?

All opinions welcome !
Really, where do people come up with these rules?
I've never heard of that rule. Yes, it's not a valid rule. Just like any other random, no purpose, and illogical rule that exists in dating.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  August 23,2009, 11:13am
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I never initiated a first kiss myself. Not that I can remember, anyway!

I never heard of that rule, either.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #4  August 23,2009, 11:25am
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I've always initiated first kisses ...so I guess that 'rule' is either invalid or doesn't apply to me.
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #5  August 23,2009, 11:58am
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No idea on the rule thing, although, I do think they were created by our old-country parents and grandparents, but then mine told me the girl never initiates and if the guy does he doesn't respect her. Boy, if I could have a do-over...

Anyway, I prefer if he leans in first but if I can't help myself I will move in closer...
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  August 23,2009, 12:04pm
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Seneca wrote :
Somewhere in my formative (or perhaps DEformative) years it was impressed on my psyche that the FIRST kiss is always supposed to be intitiated by the female. After that the male is free to initiate kisses.
Where the heck did you grow up that you learned that?

And regarding the men you've dated who have passively waited for you to kiss them....I think you need to date a different class of men.
 
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JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #7  August 23,2009, 2:48pm
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The man and long ago the boy always kissed me first. There has been times when I got a little impatient and maybe let him know I was ready.
I want the man to kiss me first, after that it's all fair game.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #8  August 23,2009, 2:55pm
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You'll have to wait until I publish my Rule Book on this subject, and you'll have to pay for it, of course!

I'll make sure to include a chapter on "I will "high-5" a woman and shake their hand and pat their shoulder or teasingly bump them aside with a hip or share a friendly hug." just for you!
 
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last12C is offline last12C Post #9  August 23,2009, 2:57pm
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I've always allowed the man to initiate the first kiss, but I have never had any problem communicating a green light. As far as who actually controls that kiss... it's usually a subtly collaborative thing. I prefer aggression on his part, while simultaneously reading the more passive directions that I give. It is a total turn-off to me if the guy is too passive in this area.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #10  August 23,2009, 2:58pm
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It has been a mixture for me, my first date with my ex though she invited me back to her place and she initiated the physical contact, I was a bit taken back as it was our first date and even though she was lovely I wasn't sure how to take it. In the past though, usually after the second or third date I will end the evening with a kiss that I have initiated. Though there was another occasion in high school where she initiated the first kiss and further physical contact.
 
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